My Mama Hannah James
by TWISTEDART
Summary: This is a story of Heath's youth into adult hood. It is about Heath being raised without the influence of Leah as his mother.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Valley or any character of the show. I only use them for my own personal entertainment with hopes I'll entertain others with my imagination.**

 **Summary: I always wondered what would happen if Heath wasn't raised by three wonderful women. How would his actions be different? How would life be for an unwanted son? I also think Hannah James was a wonderful character on BV. I'd love to have had her more on the episodes. I'd love to see how the Barkley siblings reacted to Heath's past, which would include meeting Hannah. Therefore, this is a Heath story (of course) in an AU version of BV. Heath will be a Barkley as will all other Barkley's remain Barkleys. Audra IS his sister. LOL Hannah takes on a more important role in this story as Heath's caregiver**. **This is a story of his youth in different settings and circumstances than BV**

 **Warning: There will be abuse of a minor in more ways than physical. Therefore, T is the rating. I will try to warn at the beginning of the chapter when abuse is about to be written.**

 **Prologue**

With dark green eyes, Leah peered down at her two year old son, she realized how exhausted she was. Her brown wisps of hair matted to her sweaty forehead. Her shoulders ached from bending over the metal wash bucket she used to clean the clothing of miners as well as linens from her brother's hotel. She was tired.

Her small son looked nothing like her. His cherub face was surrounded by thick blonde curls that were almost white upon his head. His eyes were such a clear blue that when he looked at anyone, there was an immediate smile. There was a smile until people found out about his parentage, or lack there of, then there was an immediate scowl. Heath looked like Tom Barkley had taken a piece of himself to create the boy. There was nothing of Heath that held Leah's own looks. Therefore, when looking at him, Leah became even more tired.

Leah had written Tom Barkley about the birth of her son. She wasn't sure if she hoped it would make Tom return to her of hearing she was with child or if she had hoped Tom Barkley would simply send money her way to help her with the baby. However, she received notice that he had no legal obligation to her or the baby. It was written in a formal script,which made Leah realize it was of a lawyer's pen. Tom Barkley had made sure of his rights or non rights when concerning the child. Leah was told in no uncertain terms if she claimed Heath was Tom Barkley's son, she would be liable for slander. Therefore, she was warned to remain silent on the subject. Leah knew she could still cause the man trouble. She had nothing to lose if she was sued. However, she chose to allow Tom his happiness.

The birth of Heath was a difficult one. It had wracked her body with pain and weakness. The complications of Heath's birth caused her to never be able to carry another child. Leah's child bearing days were over. She had birthed the infant in a tent on a stormy day. When the child was laid in her arms, there was no happiness or joy that filled her of him. There was worry and dread of the future. However, she would try to love the baby as best she could. After all, it was the only child she would have.

Leah had named him Heath. She didn't even know where the name came from. Perhaps she had heard the name as a child or in the mining town. It just seemed like a strong name. In her opinion, a name that strong had to bring about a boy just as strong. She knew her son would have to be strong to be able to make it in this life. A boy without a last name of his own must be strong.

Leah's thoughts were interrupted by the two tikes playing at her feet.

Reginald, Leah's five year old nephew, sat beside Heath. There was such a striking difference in the boys. Reginald had thin brown hair that was cut tightly to his head. His eyes were a murky gray color with hints of brown. However, it was the coloring of their skin most obvious in difference. Heath's skin glowed with health while Reginald's skin was pale. The paleness told of his sickly nature. The boy was born without the use of his legs. His body seemed to be withering away each year rather than growing healthy. Heath was becoming more robust each day.

Matthew Simmons was Leah's older brother. They shared a mother but not fathers. However, the brother and sister were close due to Matthew practically raising her alone after their mother's death. Leah's father became a drunk due to the death of his wife. That left Matt Simmons with way too much responsibility of a younger sister.

Martha was Matt's wife. She was a beautiful woman, who was a great wife to Matthew and great mother to Reginald. She was a tall well built woman with the blondest of hair. She always kept up the appearance of class and sophistication. Matthew and Martha tried to support Leah in the decision to keep Heath. Even after Leah received the letter from Tom Barkley telling of his family, a wife and two sons, they never judged her. However, it was Leah who started to become angry of what life threw at her. She was determined to not let herself become bitter and aged as her father had done to himself. That bitterness had led the man to commit suicide in front of his stepson, Matt.

Men still gave Leah a lot of attention. The 23 year old was beautiful beyond that of normal beauty. Her hair had a natural curl that caused the tendrils to lay seductively to the tip of her waist. Her skin was a cream color best described as porcelain. Her body, although petite, held very feminine curves.

Leah didn't give many of the men much attention back. For the last three years, no one could measure up to Tom Barkley. However, that had changed a few months ago with the flirtation from a widower named Owen Endicott. He was a wealthy business man twice the age of Leah. He had a grown daughter near Leah's age. He also had a son ten years of age and a daughter six years of age. He was still handsome at the age of 46. Owen was part of the rich mine owners trying to find land worthy of settling down on. However, his heart belonged to the East, where his daughter resided with her husband. At the moment, his ten year old son and six year old daughter were with Owen's oldest daughter.

Leah realized her attraction to the man was due to the fact that he looked nothing like Tom Barkley. Therefore, Owen would not be a constant reminder of her love lost. He was tall , approximately 6' 5". He was a skinny man with the blackest hair she had ever seen. Tom Barkley was around six foot tall with a muscular build. Owen's eyes were almost as black as his hair. He was more debonair and less rough around the edges as she had remembered Tom Barkley being. However, she found Owen alluring none the less.

The only problem to come of their new courtship was that of Heath. Owen had made it plain he would not be a father to another man's son especially a son brought into the world due to a dreadful sin. He would not damage his good name for such a child nor would he chance his own children suffering for that child either. Therefore, when Owen asked Leah for her hand in marriage, there was one stipulation. Heath was to be given to an orphanage or to Matt and Martha Simmons.

At first, Leah was devastated. How could she give up her lovely child? However, Owen promised a pampered life if she would go back East with him as his wife. Leah looked at her water soaked hands. Leah glanced at Heath giggling as Reginald played with her son. She was determined to not let this mining town kill her youth.

Martha came in scooping up Reginald with a laugh. "My are you getting big, young man."

Reginald's thin arms stretched around his mother's neck. "Mama, I am having a grand time with baby Heath."

Soon, Matthew held Heath on his hip. He tickled his young nephew causing a loud chain of baby chuckles. He tried to put back the resentment of the pain the child caused to his beloved sister.

Leah took in a deep breath before nervously uttering. "I need to talk to you both."

It was settled within only a few hours, Heath would be raised by Martha and Matt Simmons. Martha insisted the child could not have the name Simmons. That was reserved only for her Reginald. However, she agreed to be a good aunt to the boy. Matthew Simmons agreed. He was more than happy to take the burden of Heath from his younger sibling.

After two days, Leah and Owen married before leaving Strawberry to head East. Leah wept over Heath but soon find her tears at bay when she thought of a life with Owen. She was happy again. Leah never thought of the fact she had chosen two men over Heath. The first being Tom Barkley. She chose to allow him the happy life without causing him grief of a son. She did this despite the fact that Heath would forever have to face the stigma of his birth. Then she chose Owen Endicott while pushing Heath away. The love of a man seemed more important than the love of a child. Leah left Strawberry not looking back.

If she would have bothered looking back, she would have noticed Martha's resentment of Heath's health compared to her own child's sickness. She would have noticed Matt's devotion to Martha and her feelings over that of Heath.

Leah didn't want to look back. She was tired of sacrificing for a child that was sapping the youth and beauty from her. She wanted to be happy again. She found that with Owen Endicott.

 **A/N Reviews are always welcome both good and bad. As always reviews, have us authors clamoring to try to get readers more updates. It lets us know if you find our stories of interest. I will still be writing on _A Satchel Full of Truths_. But this idea came to me and I wanted to write it before I forgot about it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:The age of the characters in my story thus far. Jarrod is 12, Nick is 7, Heath is 2 1/2, Audra is approximately five to six months old. Eugene is the character I've taken most liberty with. He is the same age as Heath which the exception of one month and a few days. (needed for direct comparisons I will make in the story of nature vs. nurture) The story will span over youth of the Barkley children into adulthood.**

 _ **Chapter 1: Two Year Old Blessings**_

Martha Simmons soon realized the tasks of taking care of an active two year old, a hotel, and a crippled son were too much for one woman. Matthew had often taken on the responsibility of his nephew, Heath. He didn't want Martha to send Heath to an orphanage. The closest orphanage was a dreadful place. Although, there were some orphanages better, the closest orphanage was more of a work camp than orphanage. Younger children weren't treated well. Toddlers were often neglected unless an older orphan took pity on the child and attended them. That rarely was adequate care as the older child was usually worked to the bone before attending the younger. Matthew knew those orphanages ran by the state were not really suitable for children. Yes. He had checked knowing Heath was more of a burden for Martha than a joy. Therefore, Matthew chose to try his best with his younger sister's son.

When he suggested hiring on a former slave, who was known for laundering miners's clothing, Martha hesitated. However, Matt convinced his wife that the woman would be valuable in not only taking care of Heath but also in cleaning the hotel and linens. The woman would do these tasks at a much lower wage than they had paid Leah. Therefore, it was a win/win situation. Martha wanted to spend more time with her ailing son. She readily agreed to hire Hannah James to help with the task of Heath as well as hotel cleaning and laundry.

To Matt's surprise, Leah wrote often. However, the letters were filled with joys of being Mrs. Endicott and a mother to a wonderful ten year old son and a beautiful six year old daughter. She informed her brother that the boy's name was a proud one. He was Pierson Endicott and his little sister was named Amanda Endicott. The oldest girl was only one year younger than Leah. Her name was Elizabeth. She and Leah had become the best of friends. Leah went on and on to tell of her love deepening each day for Owen as well as her new found children. Never once did Leah bother to ask about Heath. Not once in response did Matthew or Martha tell of Heath. The failing mines were mentioned. The ailing Reginald was spoken of often. Never was Heath brought up. It was as if the child was non existent if he wasn't mentioned.

Heath was a cheerful baby despite being ignored most of the time. He's needs were met due to Hannah taking over his care. However, Martha insisted she not spoil the toddler due to not wanting him used to being held. Martha explained she didn't have time to coddle the boy. It was understandable to Hannah as Reginald needed his mother's undivided attention.

Hannah changed her mind when she realized Heath had been spanked for soiling his clothes. She saw the red marks on his buttocks. Hannah felt tears welling up in her eyes at the child's discomfort due to a rash and the spanking. Feces had dried on the boy's skin causing Hannah's cleaning to be harsh due to the whelps his buttocks displayed. He had obviously not been changed for many hours during the night. Hannah was only his caregiver during the day.

Despite this fact, Heath smiled up at Hannah as he said her name softly. "Hann. Hann. Miss you."

Hannah smiled down at the child as she finished cleaning him. She then gave him some grits with butter for breakfast. The two year old ate eagerly due to Martha putting him to bed without supper.

"I'm too busy to keep up with him." Martha felt a little embarrassed by her actions. She was very exhausted when morning came. To find Heath with soiled pants was the last straw. Angrily, she had grabbed up the child spanking him over and over with exhausted frustration. It was her own five year son who caused the whipping to stop. His awakening at Heath's cries made Martha realize what she was doing.

Of course, the woman made an excuse to Hannah. "He is old enough to use the outhouse."

"Yes'm." Hannah knew her place despite the sadness she felt for the fair haired child.

She was once a slave to harsh owners. Her residence was once in Kentucky but she soon found herself in California to a new idea of freedom. Even with that freedom, a person of color knew not to cross the white man or they wouldn't likely live to tell about it.

Hannah had escaped with the help of one of people coming to California in hopes of striking it rich in the mines. His name was Jessup Jenkins. The man was nice enough. He had never been married and could care less about a woman's company in that manner. The elderly man needed help in cooking and cleaning. He didn't agree to slavery. Therefore, he helped Hannah to escape in the agreement she would help him in things such as cooking, cleaning, and keeping his clothes mended.

"Miss Simmons…" Hannah spoke cautiously. "I sure do get lonely in that place I stay. My friend Jessup is old now. He wouldn't mind a child like Heath being there during the night. He can't rightly hear Heath no how. I could help train the boy. I can bring him over during the day as I clean. It sure would help me out not to worry about getting here early enough to bathe and feed the boy. If you think that would help you any. I wouldn't ask for no money as it would be helpin' me out. I sure think you's could use a break. You work too hard. You a good woman, Miss Simmons."

Martha glanced up from exercising her son's legs. Reginald moaned with the ministrations from his mother. It seemed with each passing day, the child's body was growing stiffer and weaker. Martha thought of Hannah's proposition. She loved how the town people treated her with the utmost respect for taking in a child such as Heath. Martha relished in the complements of those feeling she was such a saint for her actions with Heath. After all, he was the town bastard and she was the kind woman who gave him her home.

"Well, Hannah. Perhaps if you get him here early enough that no one knows of him not living here. I suppose that would work out for us both. But only if you keep this from my husband as well as anyone else." Martha liked the idea of not having to see Heath each night.

His cries were beginning to get on her last nerve. She couldn't remember to feed the child on a regular schedule. As far as Martha Simmons thoughts went. _The hotel was more important as was Reginald. It wasn't her fault Leah had lain with a man before marriage. Nor was it fair that her own son was not able to run and play as Heath did. She was the good woman, who had married to have her son. Leah's son was the son of sin._

"I can do that." Hannah tried to act like it was a burden.

If Hannah took in too much pleasure of caring for Heath, Martha would not allow it. Somehow the woman, who was once a happy and beautiful woman, was becoming bitter and aged. Seeing her son dying before her eyes had caused this change in her. Seeing a healthy boy in Heath was adding to her angry bitterness.

Hannah waited until it was dark to bundle Heath up. She whispered for him to remain quiet in the laundry she carried. Heath smiled as he thought Hannah was playing a new game with him. Soon, Hannah placed the boy on her hip after entering the small green cabin, which she called home.

Jessup glanced at the child and scowled. "Is that the mongrel pup you are watching for Matt Simmons?"

"Yessir." Hannah answered as she sat Heath down on the wooden floor. She handed him a wooden spoon and a tin pan. "Play while Miss Hannah works, Heath."

Hannah busied herself cooking Jessup's evening meal. Jessup frowned as Heath stood up and headed to him. Before Jessup knew it, Heath had a hold of his leg.

"Play with me." Heath smiled as he handed the spoon to Jessup.

"No. You little whelp." Jessup pushed the boy down startling Heath. Tears welled up in the small child's eyes and ran down his cheek. "He's a mama's boy. Look at him cry for nothing."

Hannah fought the urge to rush to Heath. If she did, Jessup would send the child back. At least here, Hannah could take care of Heath's basic needs as well keeping the boy from too much abuse.

"Now, Heath. Stop that bawling. Mr. Jessup don't rightly care for it. I knows your bottom hurts mighty fiercely from that whoopin' you got. I know that the rash can't feel no better on your hind side. But you buck it up now. Don't be acting like a baby when you's a two year old."

Jessup rub his graying beard as he sat staring at Heath. Her words had hit their mark just as Hannah had wanted them to. "He's only two. I figured he was older. He's a big boy."

"His mama did one thing right with him. She fed him good." Hannah thought that was one thing the mother's child handled well. Whoever she was, she must've shoveled food towards the boy to keep from having to do anything else. It was obvious the kid didn't get much affection. Heath played to himself too much to seem like a child who received hugs and kisses.

Jessup bent down and swooped Heath up to sit on his knee. "I didn't know your backside was hurting. Now, ain't this better? You quit that wailing and I'll let you sit here on my knee."

Heath swiped his hand over his eyes. At two years old, he was an intelligent and insightful child. Sitting on the softness of the man's knee was much better than the hardness of the floor. "Okay." Was the only word Heath uttered.

"Boy Howdy." Jessup laughed. "He sure is quick to understand. I bet he could come in handy in years to come around this place."

"Yessir." Hannah grinned as her back faced Jessup. "If you say so."

Jessup soon tired of the boy on his knee. He pulled a pillow off the red sofa and tossed it to the floor. Heath was sat on the pillow. "Stay put, boy." Jessup stretched his arms over his head. "Boy howdy, I'm about beat. Hurry up with your fixin's, Hannah. I'm gonna take a nap while you're finishing up. Make sure that boy stays out of mischief."

Hannah glanced towards Heath, who seemed fine with being alone in play. "You ain't much used to getting noticed. Are ya, Heath?"

Hannah went back to work trying to prepare Jessup's meal while trying to ignore the nagging feeling of wanting to embrace the small toddler in her arms. She knew it wouldn't be wise to show a white child so much attention. It would only cause both of them more harm than good if Martha Simmons found out. Besides, her mama had been a nanny slave to many a white child. She always warned Hannah that being a "mammy" meant heartache when those white children grew up to think of you as no longer a caregiver but as their property. Hannah would fight the urge to love him but would make sure his needs were provided.

Across miles past the town of Stockton, another two year old was wrapped in his mother's arms. Victoria Barkley kissed the crown of her two year old son's head. She had named him Eugene Barkley after his father's uncle. His father, Tom Barkley, placed his finger in his sleeping son's hand.

"He looks a little more like me than Jarrod and Nick." Tom said proudly. Victoria knew that Tom craved a son who favored him rather than her side of the family. Jarrod, the oldest, favored Victoria in both personality and looks. Nick, their second born, was the image of her own father. He did have Tom's personality as far as loudness and temper.

"He does." Victoria agreed hoping that would satisfy Tom.

Tom chuckled at his own thoughts. "Still has your family's coloring though. I guess I'm going to have to face the fact that our little Audra is the only one to take her coloring from me. She looks more like me than all my boys put together."

Victoria looked up as she continued to rock her little boy. "He gets a little jealous of his new sister. I have to make sure I spend time with Eugene too. I don't want him feeling neglected."

Silas, the house servant, entered the nursery. Silas had been with the family from the first birthday of Eugene. He enjoyed the two older boys as well as this toddler and the infant sister. He brought Victoria a glass of cold milk and a few cookies for a night treat for Eugene.

"That is one thing I can say about a Barkley child. None of them are lacking love and affection, Miss Barkley." Silas shook his head with a smile. "Guess these cookies will have to go to Mr. Nick. That boy can hold more than anyone I know. Even if he is only seven. Mr. Eugene is sleeping good."

"That he is." Victoria smiled down at her sleeping son. "Go ahead and take Nick the cookies and milk."

"Yes, Mrs. Barkley." Silas smiled as he peered one last time at Victoria holding her son. He exited in a jubilant mood.

"I'll put him to bed." Tom reached for Eugene but paused when Victoria nodded her head no.

"I want to hold him a while longer." She smiled up at her husband. He shook his head in understanding as he settled in the rocking chair next to Audra's crib.

"You sure have blessed me with fine children, Victoria." Tom took her hand in his and squeezed lightly. "I can't thank you enough for this family."

"We've been blessed together." Victoria stated before once again rocking her sleeping son.

Her mind flitted to the time she thought her marriage was ruined. Then, Tom's time away from her was difficult. His fortune began from the mine in Strawberry. Tom had confessed everything to Victoria on his return back to his wife and two sons. He admitted that he was enticed to unfaithfulness by a beautiful young girl of nineteen. Tom had been hurt badly in a robbery. The young female had nursed him back to health. Tom had poured out to Victoria how he had fought temptation of the young beautiful girl at first. Even in all the girl's innocence, she had seduced him despite knowing he was married.

Victoria had surmised the girl was desperate to leave the mining town. Tom was a handsome man, who could tempt any woman. However, his heart had been stolen by Victoria. She knew that fact despite his unfaithfulness. Therefore, Victoria faced the young woman, name Leah Thomson, had used her beauty and feminine wiles in hopes of stealing Tom's heart. Leah Thomson had failed.

The pain was strong of the betrayal. For two months, she didn't allow Tom in her bed. Then one night he came to her pleading and declaring his undying love. He cried tears of pain for his betrayal. Victoria allowed her husband back into her bed and into her heart.

Eugene was conceived that night. Tom and Victoria felt he was a gift to repair their damaged marriage. Eugene was born premature and ill. He was a treasure both Tom and Victoria could not be happier with. Their marriage was repaired to the point it had blossomed with a deeper routed love. Both Victoria and Tom thought it was due to the stronger bond of nursing their sickly son back to health. By the time Eugene was one, he was strong and healthy. When Eugene turned 14 months old, Victoria discovered she was pregnant with their first girl and their last child.

Victoria glanced at Tom as she looked from Eugene. "I'm so proud to be the mother to your children, Tom Barkley."

"It is I that am proud, Victoria. I can't be happier with the fine children you bore me and with the fine wife you are."


	3. Chapter 3

**Ages: Jarrod 15, Nick 10, Heath and Eugene 5, Audra 3….Reginald 8**

 **Chapter Two: Cousin's Protector**

Hannah sang hymns as she finished up the laundry for the day. Martha Simmons had insisted that Heath stay at the hotel now that he was making his own way to use the outhouse. He had turned five without celebration a little over a month before. He had stayed nights with Hannah from age 2 ½ until two months before his fourth birthday. After that, Martha wanted Heath around to give her a break from Reginald as well as help strip the beds of soiled linens. She had also put Heath to work at the saloon in errand running. Heath's bedroom now was a cot in the back of the storage pantry. He didn't complain. He had a bed and kept the fire by himself. He was glad his uncle Matt put more than enough wood by the old cook stove. At five, the young lad was a resourceful boy. Highly intelligent and highly spirited was Heath's makeup. In Martha's envious eyes, he was too high strung and far too inquisitive for her liking.

Hannah had fed Heath the best she could. But Jessup had refused to give the boy too much of his own food. Jessup felt it was fine for Hannah to give the boy left overs. But he had bought, caught, or grew the food himself. Heath wasn't his responsibility. Matt Simmons had plenty money to feed the boy. Due to this and Heath's active body, Heath's once chubby frame became leaner. Yet, he was still healthy looking.

Martha didn't mind the little runt around as long as he didn't speak much or make too much noise. He was good company for Reginald. Heath was patient for his age. He allowed his cousin the time to handle the little wooden soldiers with slow motions.

"Heath, hand me the General." Reginald asked in a weak voice. "I want to be the General."

Heath knew what soldier was what. Reginald had taught him all their names and ranks. Heath quietly handed the wooden toy to his cousin.

"Boy howdy, Reggie." Heath grinned. Martha frowned at hearing Heath call her son the nickname. Reginald was a proud name of a gentlemen. Reggie seemed classless to her. However, Reginald seemed to enjoy Heath's name for him. Heath continued to speak. "I bet you will be a General when you grow up."

Reginald looked up at his cousin. "Not with these legs."

Martha's face flared red at the statement. Why didn't the bastard keep his mouth shut? She started towards Heath but stopped when she heard his next words.

Heath rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Boy howdy. The way I figure it. Don't rightly take legs to be a General. You're the smartest person I know. I think it takes more of those type smarts than legs that can run."

"You think?" Reginald smiled broadly. "What will you be, Heath? I don't want to go anywhere without my cousin."

"I'll be your assistant. I can run messages to the soldiers and all stuff like that. You'll be the smarts and I'll be the legs." Heath crossed his arms over his chest satisfied with their future plans.

Matt Simmons had walked in to witness the children's play. Leah's boy was very intelligent for a five year old. Reginald was three years Heath's senior. However, the boys enjoyed one another's company in an ease much like brothers. Matt only wished Martha could see how important Heath was to Reginald. His wife had refused to face reality. The doctor had warned her that Reginald wouldn't make it to adulthood. It could be months or a few years. Their boy was destined to die as a child. Heath added brightness to the ailing child.

Matt glanced briefly at Martha. For a few seconds, he saw a smile grace her face. It was the smile of the woman he had fell in love with.

Matt walked up and wrapped his arms around his wife's waist. "Why don't you take a nap, Martha? I'll take the boys out for a little air. Hannah can sit with them."

"Are you sure?" Martha wrapped her arms around Matt's neck. "I could use a little nap."

"Go on, Beautiful." Matt winked at his wife. "Maybe I'll even sneak in to join you."

Martha slapped Matt's shoulder teasingly. "Maybe I'll let you."

With that, Martha took Matt up on the nap. Hannah watched as Heath insisted on pushing his cousin in his wheelchair to the front of the hotel. The porch was big enough for the boys to enjoy play without getting into the busy streets of Strawberry.

Matt watched from the doorway as the boys played. Heath claimed Reginald was in a chariot of fire. This caused the ill boy to dive into his own imagination. Hannah busied herself sweeping the porch. Neither adult expected what happened next.

Three boys around Reginald's age made their way over from the general store.

"Why ain't you in school?" A chunky boy with fiery red hair asked. He was three times the size of Heath or Reginald.

The other two boys, both with sandy blonde hair and snaggled teeth, followed the leader as they placed their hands on their hips. "Yeah. Why?"

"I'm five." Heath placed his own hands on his hips daring the boys to approach Reginald. "Don't take boys as young as me. I'll be startin' next year."

"We wasn't talking to you, Squirt." The leader stated with a mischievous smile. "We was talking to shriveled limbs."

Matt stepped up to the door to run the three children away. Hannah glanced at him worriedly. Both were shocked what came next.

Heath's little body sprung forward with fists flying. He had knocked the older boy down due to his surprise attack.

Reginald was egging his cousin on. "Hit him, Heath! Hit him again!"

One of the other boys grabbed Heath up landing a shot to the little boys jawel. Heath shook off the punch and jumped right back in on the fight. Matt and Hannah stood flabbergasted by the five year old's tenacity in the fight for his cousin. The five year old had became his cousin's protector.

"GET THE BASTARD!" The other boy yelled as he started to pull Heath off of the larger boy, who was curled up in a fetal position trying to keep at bay the small boy's fists.

Matt finally came to his senses and ran out the door. "That's enough, boys. Get out of here!"

The boys ran quickly from the scene towards their home. Matt picked up the battered Heath in his arms. He placed the boy under his arms with Heath's arms still flailing as he screamed.

"Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em!" The towheaded boy yelled with clenched fists.

Hannah pushed Reginald into the kitchen following Matt and Heath. Matt plopped Heath on the counter.

"Calm down, Heath." Matt chuckled at the boy's anger. "You got 'em good. Bet at least two of them will be sporting black eyes tomorrow."

Martha had heard the commotion from her room. She ran downstairs to the kitchen. She glanced at Reginald, who wore a huge grin on his face. She glanced at Heath's face which displayed a bruise on his cheek and a bloody lip. Hannah was tending to Heath's wounds as Matt stood back laughing at the boy. Martha could see pride in her husband's face for Heath. Her son would never see pride as such. All she saw from Matt was pity for their own son.

"What went on here?" Martha pushed Hannah out of the way so she was standing in front of Heath. "Well?"

Heath glanced at Reginald. He noticed his face suddenly went sullen. Heath squared back his shoulders. "I got into a fight."

"Why!" Martha angrily fumed. "Answer me. NOW!"

"They called me a bastard." Heath lied to protect his cousin and his aunt from the truth. "I don't know what it means. But is sure don't sound nice."

Martha's face grew into a tight scowl. "Take Reginald out of here." She ordered Hannah.

Hannah pushed the boy to the lobby of the hotel before heading back to check on Heath. She heard Martha's yell as she came towards the kitchen door.

"You are a bastard! They told the truth."

"Martha.." Matt tried to stop her but before he could, it got worse.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Mama." Heath stated with a pleading voice.

Martha's eyes grew wide. She backhanded the boy splitting his lip wider. "I'm not your mama. Don't you ever call me that!"

Martha stormed out. She stopped to warn Matt. "Don't you dare pet that child for his actions. So help you, Matt Simmons. You keep that sinful devil away from my boy!"

Hannah made her way to Heath. Matt swallowed as he looked at the little boy. "Thanks for protecting Reginald." He looked to Hannah. "You take that boy home with you tonight."

He rustled Heath's hair before leaving Hannah to take care of the boy. Hannah glanced at Heath as she wet a rag with cold water and dabbed his bloody lip.

"Miss Hannah. What does bastard mean?" Heath asked as his lip quivered with due to unshed tears. Even though he was defending Reginald, he still heard the words of one of the boys.

"It means you have no papa." Hannah answered honestly. "No man claims you as their child."

"What does it make me when I don't have no mama or papa?" Heath's blue eyes met Hannah's brown eyes. "Phillip McCorkle says I ain't worthy to be called an orphan either because my ma and pa just don't want the likes of me while some orphans' folks died."

Hannah wrapped Heath in her arms as tight as she could. Loving this child may come to hurt her some day. But she already thought of Heath as her own. Now, she wanted him to feel that love.

Hannah squeezed Heath tighter to her. "That means you is my boy now, Heath. That's what it means."

Heath smiled up at Hannah before nuzzling his head into her shoulder. "Does that make you my mama?"

"Sure does. You are my boy." Hannah picked Heath up balancing him on her hip. " Folks won't like it. But I am your mama now."

At the Barkley home, Eugene blew out the candles on his cake. Everyone clapped for him as he smiled back at them. Audra, who was now three years of age, yelled for him to open his many presents. Her language skills were hard to decipher with her own unique toddler babbling. However, the family knew what the small blonde haired sister wanted.

Jarrod and Nick rustled Eugene's hair. Nick bent down to speak to his little brother. "Happy Birthday. I bet you in all those presents, you'll find a toy horse."

Eugene smiled but looked to Jarrod. "Do you think I might find some building blocks too? Or maybe a picture book?"

Nick grunted as he shook his head. He walked up to his father. "He likes stupid stuff just like Jarrod."

"Now, Nick." Tom patted his middle boy on his shoulder. "Eugene has his own mind. Let him have some fun on his birthday. Don't give your little brother a hard time."

"Yes, sir." Nick sighed. "But I'd sure like the boy to want to come to the corral once in awhile."

"We'll keep the horses busy." Tom nodded to the table. "Now get over there and get you some cake before Eugene starts opening his gifts. By the looks of that gift table, he'll be a while."


	4. Chapter 4

**Ages: Jarrod 16 , Nick 11, Eugene and Heath 6, Audra 4 and Reginald 9**

 **Chapter Three: The Bookworm and the Little Hunter**

There was something about the books that intrigued Jarrod Barkley. For every book he read, he only wanted to consume more. Tom Barkley had watched as his highly intelligent son began to pull away to become his own man. He was book smart. It was just how the boy was. Nick was just as intelligent but it was a different intelligence. Still, Jarrod was becoming his own man. It frightened Tom but not for the reasons one would think. He was afraid of losing the boy when he became a man. Tom knew that someday he would look up and his son would want a life away from the ranch.

Tom had built the Barkley empire for mainly four reasons; Jarrod, Nick, Eugene, and Audra. Victoria was part of the equation. However, Victoria helped build the empire for the same four reasons; their children. Now one of those children would pull away from the fold. Tom thought for sure each child would build a home on the ranch as the ranch became bigger and bigger. It didn't make Tom less proud of the boy. It made him melancholy.

The sadness came due to Nick mostly. Tom faced the facts. Eugene Barkley was more like Jarrod than Nick. It was no doubt Eugene idolized his cowboy brother. However, Jarrod was the one Eugene spent hours on end talking to. Tom caught himself drifting to the letter he had received from Leah Thompson six years earlier.

He didn't know what made his mind wander to that letter. After all, he had made his decision six years ago. He was stuck with that. His lawyer, Randall McGregor, had told him all was well. He took care of it just as Tom had asked. _There was nothing to worry about_ were the words from McGregor.

Tom wondered what McGregor meant exactly. Had he sent Leah money to care for the boy? There was money taken from his account monthly. Maybe that was where the money went. It was enough to take care of a child's needs. Then again, McGregor took care of a lot of Barkley business. The money could be for one of many enterprises. Since it wasn't a great amount, Tom never questioned it. Tom knew deep down, he didn't want to know. Maybe there was another reason for McGregor's mysterious answer. Was there even a boy at all? Was it just a trick of the desperate girl to get Tom back in her life?

The part that sometimes made Tom want to redo the past was the fact he never checked to see if there was really a child. Did he even care? That he wasn't even sure of. He was blessed with the family he had. Another child from a woman he barely knew would not be a blessing at the time. The fact was that if Leah Thomson stood in front of him today, he wasn't sure he'd even recognize her. It was a interlude based on lustful passion and nothing more. All he remembered from that time was he was grateful for being alive. Leah had saved him from a certain death. He also remembered she was such a rare beauty. Her beauty did surpass his wife, who was extraordinary in her own looks. However, the beauty had stopped there. Tom didn't know Leah Thomson. He hadn't spent years accepting both flaws and strengths of the young lady as he did Victoria. It simply came down to being long weeks with a beautiful woman that caused the short lived affair. No love but admiration of sorts for a young girl who gave of herself to him.

He didn't mention the letter to Victoria. He knew his wife. She would insist on finding out the truth one way or another. Knowing his Vic, she'd want to bring the boy back home to raise. Ironically, it was his Victoria that caused him to seek advice of his lawyer in the first place. She was having a rough pregnancy. The letter came a little over a month before Eugene was born. Tom had feared that the news would cause Victoria more problems in an already difficult pregnancy. The doctor had put Victoria on bedrest and said NO STRESS for her. Tom felt the weight of the letter came with way too much stress for him. No. There was no option. Randall McGregor had to handle the situation.

Jarrod glanced up at his father, who was standing in the doorway staring at him. Jarrod noticed his father was deep in thought. Curiously, Jarrod asked. "Do you need me for something, father?"

Tom nodded his head. "I hate to steal you away from your studies, Jarrod. I was wanting to know if you'd come with me to help me teach Nick to shoot. He's eleven now. It is time the boy learns to use a rifle."

"Sure." Jarrod stood up then placed his book back on the shelf. "Family tradition. I was eleven when you taught me. Do you need me to set up the targets?"

"No. McCall did that already." Tom felt a small hand tug at his sleeve. He glanced into Audra's big blue eyes. He scooped her up to place on his hip. "What do you want, Princess?"

"I want to go." Audra squared back her shoulders and jutted out her chin. "I want to be a cowboy like Nick."

"You're a girl." Nick walked in making his presence known. The boy had a pair of lungs on him. At age eleven, the boy was already bigger than life in personality. "You can't be a cowboy. You can be a cowgirl though."

"Audra, you're too little." Tom kissed his daughter on the cheek. He placed her down and playfully patted her behind. "Now run off and see what your mother is doing."

Audra skipped away gleefully. Tom glanced at Eugene. The boy was drawing as he read a children's book. It seems he was drawing out the scenes of the book.

"You want to go watch your brother learn to shoot, Gene?" Tom walked over and rustled the boy's hair.

"Do I have to?" Eugene groaned in protest. His brown hair was combed in the same style as Jarrod's hair.

Tom noticed the differences in his sons' looks. They were all so handsome. Nick was going to outgrow them all in height. He was a lean boy but muscles would come with the work he did on the ranch. Tom could already guess the many girls' hearts that boy would be breaking. His hair was black and was wild. He was a tough boy with an energetic passion to rival any man.

The teenager, Jarrod, was already pursued by many a young female. His charm was evident. The boy had a silver tongue when it came to conversation. Jarrod could convince a man to buy land in the desert in the middle of a drought. His looks were boyishly handsome. He had a gleam to his dark blue eyes that told of his intellect.

Eugene was a good looking little boy. His size was smaller than most children his age. He was going to take after his mother in stature. This caused Tom to chuckle at how his petite bride was compared to her strength. She was a force to be reckoned with when need be.

"No. You don't have to." Tom left the room.

He watched Jarrod and Nick chatting in excited utterance of learning to shoot. Jarrod was telling Nick how good he was now. Nick was claiming to best out all Barkleys when it came to shooting.

**************************B*********************************

Jessup felt his knee give as he got the eight point buck in his sights. He cursed as he stumbled into a briar patch. The buck sprang off escaping the fate of being supper. Jessup pulled his rifle to his side as he shook his head in dismay.

He headed toward the old cabin. Halting, Jessup noticed the small boy sitting on the stump beside Hannah. She was singing her hymns while the boy whittled with a small knife that Jessup had handed him a few months earlier. He had told the blonde boy that he could use it when he wanted to as long as he returned it. Heath's tongue stuck out as he concentrated deep on the task at hand.

Suddenly, Heath got a mischievous gleam to his countenance. In a flash and a flick of Heath's wrist, the knife sailed through the air.

"Lord have mercy!" Hannah exclaimed. "You gave my heart some twitters."

Heath shrugged nonchalantly as he walked over to retrieve his knife. He held up the knife as he examined the end of it. At the end of the blade there was a toad hanging. "Too little for stew."

"Yep." Hannah went back to washing the laundry. She glanced up. "You got a good eye, Heath. But next time make sure the killin' is worth it. No use riddin' God of his creatures unless you're going to do something with them or protectin' yourself. You hear?"

"Yes'm." Heath tossed the frog aside then wiped the knife blade on the front of his worn pants. "Reckon I head to school."

"Don't be fightin." Hannah warned. "That is the only shirt I gots left or yours. Last one was ripped to shreds. The good Lord don't like you fightin'."

Heath nodded his head as he headed away from Hannah. He stopped to stare up at Jessup. As he handed Jessup his knife, Heath whispered for only the old man to hear. "Boy howdy, Jessup. I don't reckon Mama Hannah knows the good Lord don't like me at all. Least that's what Aunt Martha's friends at her church let me know. "

Jessup watched the retreating form of the boy. He rubbed his aching knee before heading to place the rifle in the cabin. "Don't bother fixin' lunch, Hannah. I think I'll head into town. A beer is calling my name."

"It ain't near lunch time, Mr. Jessup." Hannah began hanging the laundry to dry. "Most folks are only having breakfast about now. I guess I better head to Mr. Simmons' hotel. Mrs. Simmons sure will be cutting up a fuss if I show up late."

Jessup picked up a wicker basket full of clean laundry. "Is this going to the hotel?"

Hannah nodded as she hung the last of the clothes from the wash tub. She looked curiously as Jessup put the basket to his side.

Jessup noticed the woman's look. "Don't go lookin' at me like that. I ain't growin' soft by helpin' you. I'm headed to town is all. Come on. Best get you to work."

Hannah busied herself making breakfast for the hotel customers. The hotel always to be busy due to the miners coming in and out of town. It wasn't as rowdy as the bars but it was always full.

Jessup placed the laundry in the kitchen before heading to the lobby of the hotel. He knew he'd find Matt Simmons there. He sauntered up to Matt. "Can you spare a few minutes? I'll buy you a beer."

"Kind of early for a beer." Matt arched his eyebrow.

"Never too early to wet your whistle. Last chance to get something free from me." Jessup walked out hoping Matt would follow.

Matt sighed out saying in a low voice. "I doubt Jessup is doing anything for free."

The two men saddled up to the bar, which was already bristling with activity at the early hour. Jessup took a sip of his beer as he glanced sideways at Matt. "Good beer."

"It's okay." Matt placed his elbows on the bar. "I don't usually partake. I know the beer isn't what you're wanting to talk about. I"m going to take my boy for a walk later. So get at it."

"You're hotel is busy. Reckon' keepin' meat on the table is hard for your family." Jessup rubbed his long beard in a smooth notion. "I know my knees are making it difficult to get meat on mine. Hannah makes a meal out of weeds and cactus. Tastes fine but it ain't no meat."

"Yeah." Matt took a sip of his own beer. The bitter taste made him grimace. "Go on."

"Well, that Heath boy is a mean spirited sort. He's also smart as a whip." Jessup turned to face away from the bar. He propped himself up with his elbows.

"Has he done something wrong? IF he has, Jessup, that is up to Hannah to fix. We've pretty much turned his rearing over to her. Martha don't like having him around. He's been gettin' into a lot of fights at school. I see the bruises when he comes to help Hannah clean. That goes with what the boy is. Nothin' I can do about it." Matt's shoulders slumped. "Heath comes to play with Reginald. Best time of the day for my son."

"Well, I didn't mean mean spirited in a bad way. I guess I meant he's a brave boy. Yeah. That's what I mean. So I want to ask you if I can teach the boy to shoot. He could get hunt for us both. I can teach him since you don't have the time." Jessup fiddled with the rim of his glass. "I don't see myself getting out in the woods too much longer."

"I don't know, Jessup. He's only six." Matt knew Martha had plans to work the boy in the mines already. Teaching him to shoot may be taking all the youth from Heath. "The rifle would make him hit his bottom more than stand up."

"By that time, the shot will be made." Jessup interjected. "I'll teach him to make the shot count. Can't go wastin' bullets. Boys like shootin'."

"Fine." Matt finished off his beer. "Do what you got to do. I have to get on that walk before Reginald tired too much for today."

Heath took to the rifle like he did the knife. He had troubles learning to aim at first. Once he learned how to handle the rifle, his shots were good. It wasn't quite the fun Heath thought it would be. The rifle's recoil caused his shoulder to be sore not to mention his bottom to land on the ground more times than when he stood up. From this, Heath learned to try to find a place to lay above his target on a rock or in a tree. If he was on the ground, Heath knew to aim higher rather than stand up. After teaching Heath how to load, fire, and aim the gun, Jessup let the boy pick out his own spot.

Hannah had whispered to Heath on his first time hunting for a kill. "Aim sure, Heath. Don't make them suffer. Aim sure."


	5. Chapter 5

_**~~Chapter Four: Dark Shadows**_

Heath sat on the front porch of the saloon. The rain peppered the ground making small puddles of murky dirt. He could see the funeral procession clear in his sights. Hannah glanced at him as she stood on the steps of the Strawberry Hotel. It was closed for the day.

Many children were in school at the hour. Heath had slowed down on going to school a few months earlier. He still went a few days a week. Martha had decided the boy needed to work and learning was unnecessary for the likes of Heath. Truth be told, Heath loved learning from numbers to letters. The fighting had slowed down as the other children didn't pick fights as much with Heath. His working away from them helped in that.

The miners told Heath they wouldn't need him to set charges for the day. Hannah knew it was so Heath could go to his cousin's funeral. A lot of good giving the boy a day off did. Martha Simmons had made it plain that Heath was not to come to the funeral. As far as she was concerned, the sin of Heath would damage her son's funeral. Therefore, Heath sat at the best place to see his cousin be carried away.

Reginald Simmons had been found dead three days earlier. He had peacefully went to sleep after a long day of play with Heath. Playing with Heath was a secret that Matt Simmons made sure his boy would do once a week without Martha's knowledge. Reginald didn't wake up the next day. He had passed sometime in the night. Matt Simmons thanked God that he had a decade with his kind,gentle son.

The seven year old boy blinked back tears. His long blonde bangs hung in his eyes hiding the tears staining his cheeks. Heath watched as they lowered the small wooden box in the ground. His little fists balled up fighting the urge to stop the lowering of the wooden box.

He held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm sorry, Reggie. I can't stop them." He whispered.

Martha collapsed causing Matt to come to her aide. The grief the woman had was palpable. It wasn't a hidden fact that Martha Simmons adored her son. Soon the people dispersed after the spoken words. Shovels of dirt filled in the small grave. Matt Simmons carried his passed out wife into the hotel.

As he passed Heath, he gave a weak smile. He continued on trying to carry the weight of his wife and the weight of a father's grief. Hannah helped Matt settle Martha into bed. The town doctor gave the grieving mother something to help her sleep. Matt stayed by his wife's bed holding her hand as tears crushed against his pale cheeks. Hannah bit her lip and shook her head.

She started out to head home when she saw Heath standing by the grave. Her eyes shot open when she noticed the seven year old's actions. Running to Heath as fast as she could, she called his name as she ran to her child. Heath was small for his age now. Years of not eating as healthy as a boys should and working at too young of age had caught up to him.

Hannah grabbed at the boy as he fought her off. His little fingers dug through the fresh mud of the grave. His fingertips reddened with blood at the aggressive digging.

"Mama! I promised him! I promised him!" Heath fought Hannah off with all his might as he dug at the loose dirt.

He collapsed against Hannah as she pulled him to her chest. She smoothed down the small boy's hair.

"I promised Reggie, Mama. I promised."

"Shhhh. Heath, my boy. Mama's here. Shhhh." Hannah calmed Heath down as she stroked the mud soaked little boy. "What did you promise him, Heath?" She whispered in her calming voice.

"I promised him he'd never be put in the dark. I promised." Heath whimpered with a strangled sob. "I told him about last month. I promised him I'd never let that happen to him."

Hannah collapsed on the ground as Heath's small body fell to his knees. She pulled the boy into her lap holding him tight. She knew Heath was referring to the harrowing time a few shorts weeks ago. She closed her eyes as she thought of the right words to comfort her son.

 _Phil Cline had yelled to get the men out of the mine. "Clear out. NOW! Hurry!"_

 _The scurrying of men coming out of the darkened cave had everyone clamoring to get to safety. Jessup had heard the yelling and the loud boom. His knees hurt as he raced to the mind following Hannah's skirts._

 _"Is everyone clear?" Phil sat down beside a man whose head was bleeding. He aided the hurt man as he peered up expecting an answer._

 _"Tim is still down there." Ed Mann wiped his sweaty brow. "And that boy."_

 _Hannah had heard the man's words. She fell to her knees at the grasping to breath. "My baby! My boy Heath!"_

 _Jessup was breathing heavy as he stooped beside Hannah. "Heath is a smart boy, Hannah. He's a small one too. I bet that boy will find a way out."_

 _The seven year old coughed as he stared at the darkened area heavy with smoke. It was too difficult to see. However, he could still feel his way around. Heath felt tears well up as fear struck him. His boss, Tim, was near. Heath heard his moaning. Also, Heath could feel his body with his hands. Heath had heard the dynamite going off too soon. Somehow the timing was off from how Tim had measured it. Heath told the man the wick was too short. He argued with the boy and sent him in the crack anyway. He had made it to another crevice in the mine for safety. Tim's body had nowhere to be protected. The body of a man could not go where the body of a child could._

 _As Heath feld in the dark, he realized a few shattered rocks impaled the man's body. Heath had crawled out to check on the man right before Tim took his last breath._

 _"I guess I should've listened to ya, boy." Tim gasped before his life went cold._

 _Heath raked his hand over his dust covered face. He swallowed as his small hands searched through Tim's pocket. He tried to slow his breathing as he kept trying not to think of the dead man whose pockets he was searching. He knew Tim always carried matches. Heath also knew that Tim's torch had to be close. Heath found the matches before swiping at his tears. Then he felt around around for the torch. Grasping the handle in his hands, Heath lit the torch but flinched almost dropping it._

 _Tim's lifeless eyes stared back at the boy. Heath bit his lip before turning from the dead man. The torch caused flames to dance on the dark walls of the mine. Heath's heart pounded loudly against the boy's chest as fear almost consumed. The shadows cast on the walls made the smallest of creatures look large. Heath took a deep breath as he pushed his small hand over Tim's eyes. The closing of the man's eyes gave Heath some sense of accomplishment. Heath then said a Bible verse he had memorized._

 _The small boy glanced at the shadows running along the edge of the cave. Heath felt his heart leap in his body as the dark shadows played tricks on his little mind. Fighting the urge to curl up in a ball and cry, Heath took a long shallow breath. Then he followed the shadows knowing it would lead to fresh air. As he crawled through crevices almost too little for his tiny body, Heath felt his skin burning from the scraping against the sharp edges of rocks. He continued to glance at dark shadows casting their foreboding figures against rock walls. Heath shook his head as he fought his fears. He knew the shadows were only the rats that lived in the mines. Those rats would lead him to freedom of the dark hole he was in._

"I promised, Mama." Heath gulped as he buried his head in Hannah's bossum. "I told Reggie about the how it felt in the mine. I told him I'd never let him be stuck in no dark hole in the ground like I was."

"Oh, Heath." Hannah rocked Heath as she soothed him. "Reginald isn't there in that cold ground."

"He's not?" Heath glanced up hopeful.

Hannah smiled down at her son. "No. He's in heaven now. I bet your cousin is running around playing and laughing with other little children gone before him."

Heath smiled broadly. "He's no longer hurtin' then?"

"No. He's not." Hannah stood up pulling Heath with her. "Now let's go clean you up so I can feed you. Reginald wouldn't want you not grooming those horses tomorrow. Would he?"

"No. Mama." Heath brightened up. "He sure did like watching me brush the horses in the livery. He helped too."

"I know he did." Hannah swelled with pride as she remembered how Heath had took an old belt of Jessup's to make straps for the currying brush. He did it for Reginald so he could help brush the horses.

"Let's go home, Mama." Heath grasped Hannah's hand. "I'm so glad that Reggie won't have to see any dark shadows."

*********************************************B****************************************

Tom hurried down the hall to Eugene's room. The boy screamed out as a nightmare awoke him. Tom had went through comforting all his children when nightmares struck. Victoria was right behind Tom as they entered Eugene's room.

"Father!" Eugene cried out. "I see the dragon is coming after me. I saw his shadow move by the window"

Tom looked back at Victoria as he took the boy into his arms. "It's only a dream, Eugene. Look. It's a limb from the tree causing the shadow. Do you want to come crawl in bed with your mother and me?"

Eugene nodded as he whipped his hand over his tear stained cheeks. "Can we keep the lamp lit for a little while until I fall to sleep?"

Tom picked up his small son. "Sure we can."

"I don't like dark shadows." Eugene placed his head on his father's shoulder.

Soon Eugene was sleeping between both of his parents. Victoria was rubbing the little boy's back with small circles from her hand. She looked at Tom as she smiled. "The next time Nick Barkley decides to tell Eugene scary stories of dragons, Eugene can sleep in Nick's bed."


	6. Chapter 6

_Title: The Trouble with Girls_

Jarrod Barkley stood looking at his father. He held his head high despite the fact his father was disappointed with him. Eleanor Perkins and her parents had made an unexpected visit and left only a few minutes before. Eighteen year old Jarrod had been nervous when he saw the carriage arrive. After all, he was the one who put up his thirteen year old brother, Nick, into keeping Eleanor company while he entertained sixteen year old Sharon, the older sister of the two.

How could he have possibly have known that Nick would take things a little too far with the young Eleanor. What was it with his little brother that made Nick be in constant trouble?

Jarrod was only in for a few days on a break from attending the university. The girls made an unexpected visit with their father. Their father had left them unattended as he spoke with Tom.

Nick's eyes dashed from his father to his older brother as he bit at his bottom lip. "Eleanor was more than willing, Father."

"Oh was she?" Tom Barkley raised an eyebrow as he stared down at his thirteen year old. He couldn't help but feel a twinge in his heart realizing the boy would soon be stared up at.

"Yes, sir." Nick jutted up his chin proudly. "Didn't take much convincing at all."

"Well, I wonder what your mother would think of that attitude. Eleanor is a twelve year old girl. She shouldn't be showing off her corsets to no boy. The same boy shouldn't have asked her too!" Tom's voice rose to a dangerously high note. Then he drew in a deep breath. "Boys." He glanced at Jarrod. "Yes. I mean both of you. I know that you have been sneaking away with Sharon. You put your brother up to keeping Eleanor occupied. Didn't you?"

Jarrod squared back his shoulders as he readied for his best words to materialize. "Yes, Father. I did request Nick keep Eleanor company. I thought the shy young girl could use some of Nick's friendship. By all means did I not think my younger sibling would talk the sweet child into stripping to her underwear so he could view her. Nor did I think he would kiss the young girl."

"Bull shi..." Nick caught his slip of tongue before it was too late. Or was it already. "Ummm. I mean. It just happened. We were talking. I don't know how we got to the conversation. But she said she was wearing some of Sharon's old clothes now. She was real proud that she fit in her sister's corset."

"Let me guess. You asked her to prove it." Tom held his breath waiting for Nick's answer.

"Seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Eleanor was awful proud of the fact. I thought I may as bring her more joy of her growing up." Nick rubbed his neck as he bluntly said. "The kissing came after."

Tom tried to rain in his laughter. He didn't want the boy to see the hilarity of the situation. Nick was supposed to be getting his hide tanned. Victoria had said in no uncertain terms to take the boy to the wood shed and while he was at it to bring Jarrod along to see what he had been into.

"What about you and Sharon, Jarrod. The Perkins never mentioned you but Eugene said you were there too." Tom put his hands on his hips to show he meant business.

"Little tattle tale runt." Nick grunted out.

"Nicholas. Don't call Eugene that." Tom warned sternly. "Jarrod, I was talking to you."

"I do believe my behavior was quite gentlemanly, Father. Especially for a man my age." Jarrod didn't mention the fact that he planned on being less than gentlemanly when he heard Nick yell at Eugene for spying on him.

Jarrod was hidden in the upper loft. Nick was on the barn floor. Jarrod hadn't exactly checked on his younger brother. After all, who would have thought that Nick would talk shy little Eleanor into showing her under garments?

"Really?" Tom smirked knowing his oldest child's pension for being able to spin the truth if need be. "So a gentleman takes a lady into a loft. Does he?"

Jarrod cautioned his next words. Then he spoke in an honest air of dignity. "I do see your point, father. Perhaps, my intentions were less than stellar where Sharon Perkins was concerned. However, in my defense, one must commit a crime before a sentence of punishment is pronounced. Therefore, I did not do anything a gentleman should be ashamed of. If the case of the matter is due to my brother interrupting my infraction or if my own gentleman ways would have prevailed before an action of such was taken, we shall never know." Jarrod smirked slightly. "I do believe you and Mother have raised us right on those regards."

"Bull shi*" Tom said Nick's earlier words only he finished his thoughts. "You better be glad your going into lawyerin'."

Both boys stood silent as Tom began to pace back and forth. Tom was careful with his words. "Boys, I need you to listen. I want you to realize that respecting a lady is of utmost important. I know that you both like kissing and being around girls. That is fine and dandy as God made women such beautiful creatures. However, God made women to be cherished. Not used or taken advantage of. You are both fine looking boys." Tom looked at Jarrod. "You're a handsome man, Jarrod. Ladies would find themselves at a disadvantage of your charms." Tom then took a deep breath. "I've made mistakes in my past where I didn't show God the appreciation of His gift of a woman. Now, I don't want either of you doing that. My mistakes can't be yours."

Both boys glanced at each other then shrugged. They guessed their father had been a little wild before their mother. They both would try better if that is what their father wanted.

Later that night...

Tom was putting Eugene to bed. Eugene yawned before questioning his father. "Nick says you didn't take a belt to him. He said you talked with him about respecting girls."

"That I did." Tom rustled Eugene's brown locks.

"I held Emma's hand at school yesterday." Eugene looked down shameful. "She then kissed me on the cheek and ran. I let her."

Tom smiled at the innocence of his little boy. "That's not disrespecting a girl, Eugene. As long as you only hold her hand and kiss her or she kiss you on the cheek. That's fine."

"Yuck. I'd never kiss her mouth like Nick did Eleanor." Eugene seemed disgusted.

Tom winked at his son. "Well that's good for now. Get some sleep, son. We've had enough trouble with girls today."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi, Libby." Heath spoke as the red haired girl walked up to sit with him at lunch time. He shyly grinned as the girl twisted her red pig tail around her finger.

The boy usually ate alone. He wasn't to be played with according to most parents. Some of the older boys called him names and gave plenty of punches to back up the name calling. His mama Hannah wanted to come to Heath's defense. They both knew she couldn't. A black woman had no control of the white man's ways. He had heard Hannah cry many times over his bruises. Heath began to hide them from her the best he could. He hated when Hannah was sad. She was his Mama. She deserved to be happy.

Heath was smaller in size than most boys. He didn't have shoes on his feet like all the other children at school. His clothes were darned many times as well as fitting too small. Yet, one of the prettiest little girls in Strawberry was sitting with him. She was smiling at him. She was being friendly to him.

"Do you want a piece of my licorice, Heath?" Libby pulled the black licorice in two pieces. She held out a piece to Heath.

"Really?" Heath licked his lips. "I never tasted licorice before. Are you sure, Libby?"

"Friends share things, Heath." Libby glanced at a few of the older girls standing back watching them.

"Thanks a bunch, Libby." Heath took the licorice. He stared at it a long time before taking a small bite. He would save his Mama Hannah a bite too. He wasn't sure if she had tasted licorice before either.

Libby grinned mischievously before standing up and pointing to Heath. She cried out with fake tears. "He stole my licorice! Heath stole my licorice!"

Heath's eyes went wide when Miss Carlton made her way towards the shouting children. Before she could get there, a thirteen year old boy punched Heath harshly in the jaw. Heath fell backwards to his bottom. The black licorice was still gripped tightly in his small hand.

"Don't go stealing, bastard!" The boy said as he stood over Heath. "Or I'll show you what a thief gets around here."

"I didn't steal it." Heath said in a small voice. His cheek was already turning red and beginning to bruise.

"What is going on here?" Miss Carlton looked disgusted down at the mongrel on the ground. "What type of trouble are you making now, Heath?"

"None, Ma'am." Heath stood up dusting off his thread bare britches. The licorice still was in his now dirty hand.

"He stole my licorice, Miss Carlton. I sat down trying to be friendly and he swiped it." Libby smirked at Heath. "I'm afraid of him now."

"It's okay, Libby." Miss Carlton gathered the girl to her. "We'll take care of this now."

Miss Carlton grabbed Heath by the ear and pulled him towards the hotel. He could feel the pain throbbing in his ear as the teacher jerked him forward. Heath's breath picked up knowing that if Martha Simmons was the one they encountered, he would pay. He hoped his Uncle Matt was there. He rarely received attention from Matt but Matt still didn't hit him as Martha was known to do.

"Mrs. Simmons." Miss Carlton walked straight up to Martha, who was sweeping the dust from the hotel porch. She'd prefer to speak to Martha over Matthew. The man was too drunk most of the time to care to discipline the boy.

"What's the little devil done now?" Placing the broom aside, Martha crossed her arms over her chest as she snarled at Heath.

"He stole a piece of licorice from Libby." Miss Carlton stated as she nodded towards the redheaded little girl. "The evidence is right there in his hand."

Heath glanced down as he finally let his grip on the licorice go. It fell to the floor of the hotel porch. All the children had gathered to watch Heath receive his punishment. After all, they were told the boy was not worthy of being in school with them.

"Say your sorry, Heath." Martha warned. "Then you will work off your debt of embarrassing us at the hotel."

"No." Heath straightened his shoulders proudly. "I didn't steal it. Libby offered it."

"NOW, Heath Thomson! We all know better than that." Martha screeched. She back handed Heath causing his lip to split. "Say your sorry!"

"No!" Heath whimpered as blood trickled from his lip. "I didn't steal. Mama taught me not to steal."

"You mean that black woman? I doubt she knows morals." Miss Carlton shook her head. "Shame on you, Heath Thompson."

"My mama is a God fearin' woman." Heath stated proudly. "I won't lie. I didn't steal it."

"Admit it!" Martha screamed as Heath felt another sting to his face. "Tell her you're sorry. NOW!"

Libby glanced at the older girls, who had put her up to the lie. They never expected Heath would be hit so harshly. For some reason, the children felt it was fine for them to hit him. However, Martha Simmons was hitting much harder than they had ever seen.

Heath allowed tears to stain his cheeks. "No. I didn't steal."

Again, Martha's hands caught Heath's face. This time the boy fell to the floor with the blow. His right eye began to swell. He pushed up feeling dazed from the last smack.

Miss Carlton swallowed nervously when she noticed the frightened faces of all the children. Heath's punishment was too harsh even for the likes of a child like him. "I have an idea." She knew how much Heath loved to learn. He was very intelligent with school work. Miss Carlton decided this would help the boy apologize. "Heath may not attend school any more unless he says sorry to Libby."

"Well, Heath?" Martha drew back her hand warning him.

Heath swallowed as he looked at the teacher, Martha Simmons, and the children watching. Then he stared directly at Libby. Martha grinned in satisfaction of breaking the boy. Miss Carlton was relieved the fiasco would soon be over.

The blonde haired boy rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at Libby. "I'm sorry you're a liar Libby. Because I sure as h#ll didn't steal your licorice!"

As all let out a gasp of Heath's cursing and stood shocked at his words, Martha's hand came towards Heath. He ducked the threatening hit and dashed away from them all. He ran as fast as he could. He stopped to catch his breath. As he placed his hands on his knees, he looked back at the faces of the children staring at him. He could tell all the girls were in on tricking him.

He swore to himself someday he'd get even. He swore he'd never trust another female but his Mama Hannah. He'd never put up with any trouble from girls again if he could help it.


	7. Chapter 7

In my time line, Jarrod is nine to ten years older than Heath and Eugene. He is five years older than Nick. If BV happened in 1876, then Jarrod would be 32, Nick would be 28 and Heath and Eugene 23 by my fic. However, that would make Nick joining the army at a very young age too. (15) I don't see Tom or Victoria allowing their son to do so. Therefore, my timeline will have to be more with Leah Thomson's Tomb stone of the year 1872 when Heath entered their lives, although my fic will not go the same on that account either. The ages will remain the same that way but a few years off the timeline. Don't judge me on the civil war history. The BV writers messed up too.

Note: The term "Colored" was the acceptable term used for African Americans of the 1800s.

 **Warning: Sexual abuse of a minor**

 _Chapter Six: Getting an Education_

 _Year 1861_

Jarrod Barkley was worried when he approached his father. He hoped his father would understand. He was a 20 year old man. He had to do what he felt was right _._ Trying to get up enough courage to approach his father, Jarrod took a drink of whiskey. It burnt his throat. Tom had blown up at the statement Jarrod had told him. He had ranted for fifteen minutes of education being paid for, of Jarrod's law degree almost finished. Tom ranted about anything to keep his son from this act.

"Father, I know you're paying for my education. I appreciate it." Jarrod stood straight and proud. He wasn't asking his father for permission. He was telling Tom what he felt was right."But this is something I must do."

"Why?" Tom slammed his fist against the mantle causing the photos placed on top to shake. "You don't need to join this war, Son."

"I do, father. It is what is right. I'll come home to finish school." Jarrod explained as his words were laced with conviction.

"What if you don't make it home?" Tom's voice cracked with tears. "I love you, boy. I can't lose you."

At that moment, Jarrod understood that it wasn't about his education as Tom had claimed. It was fear of losing his son.

Jarrod walked up to his father. He wrapped his arms around him. "If I don't come back, know that I love you."

Victoria sobbed in her hands as she faced her boy was now a man. She feared for him. She feared for the family. But mostly, she was proud of the man Jarrod had became.

Tom's strong arms wrapped around Jarrod tightly as they both sobbed in the embrace. There were different types of learning in life. Tom had learned a valuable lesson of letting his son be the honorable man that he was meant to be. Then Jarrod went to his mother. He took Victoria in his arms as she sobbed against his chest. Tom came up to wrap his arms around the two of them.

The embrace was interrupted by Eugene, Nick and Audra entering the front door. Nick noticed both men had been crying. His mother was hiding her face so the children wouldn't see her tears still flowing. He knew his older brother had talked to his father about joining the war. Jarrod had came to him a few nights back warning him of the pending conversation. Nick looked at his brother with both fear and pride.

Eugene and Audra didn't notice. Eugene ran up to his father. "Look, father. I got good scores."

Tom took the small piece of paper from his youngest son. He shook his head as he tried to rid himself of the sadness that encased him. "That's good, Gene. Real good. I'm proud of you."

Tom then glanced up at all his children. Once again his voice cracked as he spoke. "I'm proud of all my children. A father couldn't be more proud."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _Beginning of the year 1864_

"Heath? Heath?" Words were whispered in the darkness of the night. His name being called sickened him.

Heath was no longer in his house with Hannah and Jessup but in his old room at the hotel owned by his uncle Matt. Martha had insisted he move in again. He could hear the voice he hated with every fiber of his being. He had been sleeping trying desperately to not think of what might come later. Matt and Martha Simmons had all control of the boy despite Hannah's begging. She worried the boy would be abused by his aunt and neglected by his uncle. She had no clue the truth of how Heath's life would come to be. If she had, Hannah James would've run with the boy even at the expense of her own life. She'd do that for the son she loved. Hannah would have to run due to her skin color. No matter what else, both she and Heath were destined to follow what the white folks threw at them.

A lot had changed in the past few years. Heath didn't have to work in the mine since he was eight. His Mama Hannah had talked to the livery stable owner, Jethro Kendall. She begged for her boy to have a job there. Martha Simmons didn't care where the money came from as long as Heath handed her money each month.

School had even changed. The old school teacher, Miss Carlton, had married two months after Heath was dismissed from attending school. Miss Carlton marrying, she wasn't allowed to teach any longer. That became a blessing to Heath and Hannah _._

Heath laid in bed remembering Hannah's bravery when she approached the new teacher. Hannah knew it was taking a chance considering her being a colored woman. But for Heath, she'd take the chance of approaching the new teacher. She may have a beating coming but that would be fine if the day was a success.

Heath smiled despite the whispers coming from his bedroom door. He had to block out from his mind what he knew was coming. Therefore, he let the memory embrace him.

 _Hannah had dressed in her Sunday best. It was not a fine dress like most had but it was a dress without patching. She pulled her hair back as neat as possible. Eight year old Heath looked up at her with a crooked grin. "You look pretty, Mama."_

 _Hannah bent down straightening Heath's shirt collar. "I'z sure think my boy looks handsome too. That's the best looking color on my boy."_

 _The blue shirt was the best Heath had ever had on. Hannah had done laundry for a family of four all free for the outfit the boy wore. One of the sons in the family had outgrown it. Hannah was proud that Heath had on a pair of jeans and shirt with no mending. That would change over time. But for today, Heath would look mighty good in his clothes. Hannah wish she could've provided him shoes. Even though she was sure the son of the family had outgrown shoes, the woman said they were tore up. Hannah thought the outfit would do. Hannah had even taken the chance of cutting Heath's hair without permission from Matt Simmons. Once again, it was worth the chance of getting herself punished._

 _They marched proudly to the school house. Miss Caulfield was a robust woman with a kind face. She smiled as each child filed into the small school house. After the last child made her way into the schoolhouse, Rachel Caulfield looked up to see a colored woman standing proudly in front of her. She couldn't see the small child hidden behind the colored woman._

 _Hannah straightened her shoulders as she spoke proudly. "Miss..."_

 _"Caulfield." Rachel told the woman her name._

 _"Miss Caulfield, my name is Hannah James. My son was told by the former school teacher that he was no longer allowed to go to school. My boy is a smart boy. I was wonderin' if you would take my boy in to your school. He's a mighty fine boy." Hannah pulled nervously at the cuff of her dress. She talked quickly for the fear that was settled in her. "He won't be no trouble at all. He can write and read already but he sure needs some more teachings. He works in the livery most days but if he could have one or two days for teachings, that would be great. I'z can't read or write. But my boy can."_

 _Rachel Caulfield took in a deep breath. She had no problem teaching any child. But the laws prohibited teaching of the colored when it came to writing. She didn't expect to have problems right away in her new job. Her husband had died over a year ago. They had traveled to this mining town hoping to be near children but she never thought she had to teach again. Her husband died suddenly of a heart condition. He was a lawyer, who took business from many a person with little money to offer him. She was never blessed with her own children. She had put away a little money but not much. Therefore, she needed the teaching position to make a living. She didn't know how to tell the woman that she couldn't teach her child. Maybe she'd take a chance and teach the boy anyway. She could always play ignorant of the laws if confronted later._

 _"Step up here, Heath." Hannah pushed Heath in front of her. "He's a fine boy."_

 _Rachel's eyes widened at the shock of the blonde haired boy before her. There was no way this child could be the son of the colored woman. She swallowed as she looked at him. Rachel wasn't one to hold back her thoughts. Therefore, she asked. "I don't understand, Miss James."_

 _"I been takin' care of Heath since he was a small child." Hannah placed her hands on his shoulders. "His mama done left him. His uncle and aunt left me to care for him. He's my boy. Plain and simple, Ma'am."_

 _"I'm a bastard." Heath thought it best just tell it like it was. He wished he hadn't when he felt Hannah swat he's backside._

 _"Don't say that word, Heath Thomson." Hannah warned. "I'll have Jessup take you to the woodshed if I hear that type language again."_

 _Rachel couldn't help but smile at the small blonde haired boy. He was a gorgeous thing. She bit her bottom lip remembering her husband's papers. She had went through them to get current cases for the new lawyer in town. She remembered the name Leah Thomson, Thomas Barkley, Owen Endicott and Matthew and Martha Simmons. She glanced at the child thinking this must be the child who was signed over to Matthew Simmons by Leah Thomson. There were other illegitimate children in Strawberry but they belonged to prostitutes or were half bred Indians. Not that Rachel looked down on these children. But they existed. They didn't even bother going to school as Heath was doing. That is what made him stand out to Rachel. His last name of Thomson. Owen Endicott had paid for all the lawyer fees. Thomas Barkley's lawyer had written a letter at Heath's birth to let them know where the father stood. Therefore, Leah had every right to sign her son over to Matthew Simmons._

 _How could someone give up such a lovely child so easily? Rachel and her husband had longed for a child of their own while Leah Thomson and Thomas Barkley had easily signed away their son._

 _"Well?" Hannah nervously asked. "Can my boy come back to school?"_

 _Rachel came out of her haze as she smiled at Hannah. "Miss James, it would be a pleasure to have Heath in school."_

 _She felt a tug on her arm from a boy a little older than Heath. Rachel had already figured little Robert to be the school tattle tale. "Miss Caulfield, Heath there stole from Libby. He ain't allowed back."_

 _"He isn't allowed back." She corrected Robert's grammar. Then added quickly. "I say he is."_

 _"I didn't steal." Heath crossed his arms defiantly over his chest. "I sure ain't...am not..." Heath added quickly. "Gonna apologize."_

 _"Well, the way I see it is that is one word against another. I will not take either word as truth. It will be in the past." She smiled again at the blonde haired boy. Her heart leaped when the boy smiled crookedly back up at her. This one was going to be someone special to her. She just knew it. "Go on in, Heath."_

 _Hannah swelled with pride. "My boy is a good boy."_

 _"I'm sure he is." Rachel said before watching Hannah walk away proudly._

 _Children pattern after adults. Rachel's kindness to Heath in the following weeks had the children being kind to him as well. The word got around that Miss Caulfield was kind to all her students. Soon the children of prostitutes and Indians were joining in school. At first the adults of Strawberry complained. However, when they realized their children were receiving some of the best education from a woman from the East, they ignored their feelings about schooling any child._

 _Heath made a best friend by the name of John Eagle. John was half Indian and half white. He taught Heath Modoc Indian skills while Heath tutored John on his reading and writing. It was a partnership where both boys gained not only skills and education but a deep friendship both needed._

Heath's body began to feel cold as his memories slowly disappeared and a face appeared. The face was not of a girl but a woman. A woman's whose cold blue eyes were filled with a sickening lust.

She spoke but in a whipser as her blonde sweaty hair clung to the cheeks of her face. "You're so handsome, Heath."

Through the years, Heath's body had slowly morphed as his youthful thinness had began to develop well-defined muscles of a young man. Despite him only being twelve, the hard work and healthy eating had changed him. He still looked very much the part of the twelve year old boy that he was. He knew how to hunt to put meat on the table. That combined with his Mama's good cooking made Heath strong and healthy. His handsome youthfulness had caused a different kind of abuse from Martha Simmons. She stopped hitting him a few months back. Martha couldn't seem to break the boy with her physical abuse. Therefore, in her depraved madness, she sought another way to make Heath pay for living while her son died.

His face contorted with fright. His eyes clinched shut as he tried to not allow tears to fall. The woman didn't like tears.

"Mmm. You're getting so good at this, Heath." The woman bent and nipped at Heath's neck causing him to flinch. "I'm showing you how much I care about you. I know you like it when I touch you. Your body lets me know."

"Martha." Heath whispered with a shaky voice betraying his attempt at bravery. "Uncle Matt will get mad. He'll not like this."

"Your uncle will never know, Heath." Martha laughed seductively as her fingers scratched lightly down Heath's taunt body. "Never. I'd never betray us to him. I know you wouldn't. Would you, Heath?"

Heath shook his head no as he tried to squelch the slow shattered breaths of the pleasure she was causing him. He closed his eyes again as he felt his young body react to the woman atop him. His confusion built more each time she snuck into his room at night. He wanted to be loved. Mostly, he wanted to be wanted. Martha did that. Didn't she?

Her words were words that he had longed to hear all his life. With each movement of her adult body against his boyish one, she said she loved him. She was only showing him that love. Her whispered threats of him never being loved by his own parents followed each movement as well. She dared Heath to tell saying his uncle and Hannah would hate him. Her words told of how his uncle would blame him and Hannah would rid herself of him because he was the one that wanted this. She was only giving him what he wanted. Heath didn't want this. Or did he?

She'd bend down at the end of their lovemaking (that is what she always told him it was) and say the same words. "It's our secret, Heath. No one will never know."

She was wrong though about no one ever knowing. His uncle Matt caught them that night. It was her eleventh time sneaking into his room. And her last.

The first time with Martha was also his first time with anyone, he was so frightened that he shook the whole time. It was only a few months ago. He had begged her to stop. She whispered for him to let her show how much she wanted him. She whispered it was natural for him to want her back. She loved him.

His nightmare turned into a memory of that time as well. A pleasing dream of finally being wanted to a nightmare of confusion.

Heath was so happy that his aunt had been treating him nicely. Maybe she could be the mother as she was to his cousin Reggie. Maybe she could protect Heath where Hannah was not allowed to. His uncle had even slowed down the drinking. The hitting had slowed down as well. Martha coming to him the night his uncle had to get some supplies was a welcomed surprise at first.

"Martha." Heath rolled over in his bed. "Is that you?"

"Shh. Heath, it's me." Martha laid beside him. She scooted her body against his. He could feel her body was only clad in a soft linen gown.

His breathing picked up. "What do you want?"

"Shh Heath, I love you." Martha whispered in his ear. "Don't you want to be loved? I'm the only one that loves you. You realize that. Don't you? Not even Hannah really loves you. We pay her to take care of you. Can I hug you."

"Yes." Heath whispered back as he relaxed into her embrace. Was this how it felt to have a mother love you? Had Hannah only been paid to be his Mama.

Martha pulled Heath closer. She softly took her fingers over his soft skin causing him to relax more. Then her soft touches started to feel wrong. She touched him in places that an aunt shouldn't. No woman should. Heath knew it but didn't know how to react. She gave him attention. NO one gave Heath Thomson attention but Hannah. But didn't Martha say Hannah was paid to do so.

The first time that she made love to him, as she called it, he cried. It wasn't soft silent tears but hard begging sobs asking her to quit. She told him to let her show him how much she loved him. How much she wanted him. Then his breathing came out in gulps as his chest tightened because of his excessive crying.

His body reacted. Yet, he didn't want it to.

When Martha had finished, she looked at him. Her eyes bore into him. "You're so handsome, Heath. It's not my fault that I want you so bad. I love you. Get some sleep. You'll get used to making love to me. You'll like it. I promise."

Heath hated her more each day for the confusion she was causing him. His guilt of the way Martha touched him caused him to loathe himself. He wanted this to be over. He wanted Hannah to be his Mama like she claimed. He wanted to move back into the safety of Hannah's and Jessup's house. He blocked out the thoughts of what was happening as he prayed for this to be over.

His prayers were answered in a violent way. Matt Simmons opened the door to Heath's bedroom. The drunken man stood with his fists balled causing his knuckles to whiten.

His voice came out in a slurred growl. "I'm gonna teach you now, boy!"


	8. Chapter 8

**~~There will not be two different scenarios in this chapter. Both chapters will have the Barkley lives intertwined briefly.**

 **Warning: Physical abuse of a child**

Chapter Seven:Recruiting Officer

 _Matt Simmons opened the door to Heath's bedroom. The drunken man stood with his fists balled causing his knuckles to whiten. His voice came out in a slurred growl. "I'm gonna teach you now, boy!"_

Heath panicked as he saw his uncle heading towards him.

Martha jumped away from the boy screaming. "Matt, help me! Help me!"

She held her dress to her body as if she feared Heath looking at her. He had been forced to see every part of the older woman before. Therefore bile rose in Heath's throat as he realized what Martha was insinuating by her actions.

Heath felt his heart constricting in his chest. His uncle had never hit him before. Martha was the only adult to ever lay a hand on him in violence. That didn't include Hannah's spankings in discipline. Those didn't count as abuse like Martha had given him. It had been months since Martha had smacked him or beat him. Even though her new way of punishing felt much worse.

The fights with other children had stopped long ago thanks to his Aunt Rachel. At the age of eight years old, Heath had taken to calling Rachel Caulfield an aunt because of her kindness. Hannah and Rachel had formed a friendly alliance in their love and protection of Heath.

Heath knew. He knew without a doubt as he stared at his uncle's face contorted in rage. He knew that this beating would be the worst he had ever felt. Heath knew there was no way to ward off the much larger man. Heath thought he'd be sick before the beating even started. He watched in a dazed silence as his uncle Matt's breathing came in ragged breaths as he took one step after the other towards Heath. Then with every sound seeming to be in a tunnel, Heath felt himself being jerked up by the hair of his head. He felt a fist smash against his jaw in a blow that caused twinkling colors to flash in his eyes. Then another and another fist met his soft skin.

He blinked trying to rid the mingling of blood and sweat that ran into his eyes. He felt the taste of copper blood strangling his senses. Heath knew his life would be over soon. He wanted to fight but felt he deserved the beating Matt was giving him. He had done unthinkable things with Martha, Matt's wife. Things he never wanted but was still a party too.

Heath's head lulled to the side right before he started to welcome the darkness, he saw her. He saw Martha's smile of victory. She had planned this. She had broken him as she had tried to since the day he was a child. A child, who could walk, when her son couldn't. A child, who lived, when her son died.

Heath's hatred for her accumulated with each blow his uncle was driving to his ribs, stomach, face.

Then Heath quirked a smile at Martha.

It was the same lopsided smile he used when he was happy in life. Martha's eyes widened as she fell back against a chair. Her hand gripped the chair arm tightly as her knuckles turned red then white. Heath continued the smirk as she stared at him in disbelief. She had lost. The boy was victorious.

As Heath stared at her, his body went numb to his uncle's pounding. The smirk remained on his face as Heath's hand balled into a fist. With a sudden strike, all Heath's fury was unleashed to save himself. He drew his fist back then landed a blow too powerful for a twelve year old boy. As his fist connected with Matt's cheek, Heath knocked Matt backwards. Before Matt could react, Heath picked up a lantern from the night stand. Then he smashed it against Matt's head.

Heath's words were venomous as he stood over the unconscious older man. "I'll see you both dead before I let her touch me again!"

Then the boy ran. He ran to the only one he knew he could trust. He ran to his Mama Hannah's arms.

Hannah held the boy tightly as he clutched her to him. She pushed him back seeing how bruised he was. However, it was what she saw in his eyes that told her the beatings were of little circumstance to her boy. She saw a too familiar pain and shame. She felt herself weaken as her own memories of her former owner and his callous use of her. She was probably near the same age of Heath.

Hannah grabbed Heath and pulled him in to her house. "Jessup, get your gun." Hannah ordered not caring that she was not in any authority to do so. "Shoot to kill if Matt or Martha Simmons try to get to my boy."

Jessup obeyed as he sat a chair on the porch. He perched their stoically holding his loaded rifle.

Hannah pushed Heath down on the sofa. She left him only long enough to get clean clothes and water. She dabbed at his bruises as she spoke to him softly. "I had two brothers, Heath. One was name John and the other James. They was mighty different boys. They was might fine boys too. John was loud and determined to not let the master break him. That boy with all his pride was beat merciless. The other brother was James. He was a thinker. Everyone thought he was meek because it was 'Yes, Massa this and yes, Massa that'. I even thought that. But I realize that James was using his brain to keep us alive as much as John was using his pride to keep us alive. The more John spoke up, the less beatings James got. The more James stayed silent and solved the problem , the less beatings John got. They was a pair. Those two was."

Hannah pulled off Heath's blood soaked shirt and replaced it with a blue tattered shirt that had been mended and made bigger with extra cloth. She pushed Heath's sweaty hair from his forehead. Then she continued her story.

"John was sold. He didn't want to leave us so he tried to escape. He died trying. But he tried. James still was the quite thinker like I told you afore. That stopped one day when he caught the master..." Hannah paused as she cupped Heath's face in her hands. "He caught the master with me."

Heath felt his throat constrict. He knew exactly what his Mama Hannah meant. "Weren't your fault. Was it, Mama?"

"No. My boy. It weren't my fault." Hannah felt tears well up in her eyes. "It weren't your fault either. You understand?"

"Yes, Mama." Heath gasped for air as a sob escaped from way down deep in his lungs. "What happened to James, Mama?"

Hannah brushed a tear from her eye then reached to wipe a stream of tears from Heath's cheek. "Well now that boy did something either really stupid or really brave, he fought for me. He fought like I never seen a colored man fight with a white man. Some other slaves grabbed him. They all knew if they didn't, they'd be beat right along with James. Then the master strung him up for all to see. The master took a whip to him over and over. You know what James did?"

"No, Mama." Heath shook his head as he swiped his hand across the tears on his bruised cheek.

"He never made a sound. He never let the master see his pain. He looked at me with pride in his eyes. The same pride I saw in John's eyes when he was beat. I knew right then and there what I had to do. I had to keep on fighting. I had to fight until I was free from that place. Because James and John had put their lives ahead of mine. I knew it. They both balanced each other out because they had to. I chose the name James because John would've insisted on it. But neither of my brothers made me prouder to be their sister. You have to keep on fightin', Heath. You have to know when to be like James and when to be like John. You have to so this world won't take another man I love. You'z my boy, Heath. You is my world. I love you with everything in me, boy."

Heath fell forward and grabbed Hannah. He shuddered against her as his body wracked with sobs. Hannah could hear mumbled talking from the porch. The words couldn't be made out by her. She squeezed Heath tighter to her as she allowed the child to let loose of his pain and guilt for something that was never the child's fault.

Soon, Jessup stood over them. "I don't think they're coming tonight, Hannah. But they will come. Jethro came by just now. Heath went and knocked Matt real hard. The doctor is stitching him up."

Hannah peered up at Jessup. "What can I do for my boy, Jessup?"

"I'm going to fetch Miss Caulfield to help you fix up the boy's wounds. Then I have an idea. I know you're not going to like it, Hannah. But this is the only chance Heath will have. If Matt or Martha get a hold of him, he's good as dead. No one will stop them. This way, he may survive. It is risk but that boy may just pull through this." Jessup rustled Heath's hair. He noticed the blood had mingled with the blonde tendrils.

Jarrod Barkley sighed out as he looked over the line of people gathering. His dark blue eyes scanned the area in front of him. His handsome features stood out amongst the worn down miners who were forming a line in front of him. The twenty two year old officer sat in a dignified manner. Jarrod Barkley never allowed his posture to show anything but a pride in himself or the Barkley name. Even admist those, who had less than him, Jarrod's pride still was second to his compassion for justice for the fellow man.

Jarrod set up a tent on the edge of town. He watched the bustling of the mining town from his distance. It was dry and beginning to die. His father had once owned a mine here. He remembered his mother saying that Strawberry was the place that began their climb to fortune. It was the beginning.

He wiped at his forehead due to the sweat accumulating. His father had sent him a telegraph telling of Nick's joining the army. Nick was barely eighteen years old. Jarrod knew that his father and mother had tried to talk the boy out of joining the war. He also knew his stubborn brother would never listen. Nick thought he was a man doing what a man should do. Perhaps Nick joining the war was why Jarrod asked for this particular assignment. Jarrod wouldn't be allowed this assignment long as he would soon be needed for tasks that required his intelligence as an officer. Jarrod would take this short lived opportunity to do as he felt he needed. He wanted to make sure that other young men knew exactly what they were getting into joining the fight.

Some recruiters didn't care what age a child was when signing up. As long as the child claimed to be eighteen, it was legal. They wanted to meet their quota and go on with it. It didn't seem to matter to them that some boys could barely fit the uniforms they were given. The same thing was happening with the South. The war wasn't a war among men now. It was a war filled with boys on both sides.

Jarrod had seen too many boys signing for a chance of adventure. He was determined to try to save a few of those boys. Jarrod admitted to himself he had quickly moved to being an officer, which saved him from the most recent battles. He had seen a couple of small battles, if one could call any battle small. His intelligence had him moving up in ranks quickly. Thus, he was taken away from the battle field. Jarrod felt guilt for that even though it was not his own doing. After all, he had fought brave and hard when called upon to do so. However, Jarrod was told his intelligence was needed elsewhere. He wasn't given a choice in the matter. He knew Nick would be in battle due to his will to fight. It frightened Jarrod for his younger sibling. He'd rather be in the one fighting than his younger brother or any child. His hands were tied on that subject. The only thing he knew to do was pray for his younger brother and try to dissuade those younger boys from signing their lives away.

"Name?" 2nd Lieutenant Ralph Edwards called out from beside of Jarrod.

Jarrod watched as a young boy stepped up in front of them. All Jarrod could see was the tattered blonde hair that hid the boy's face. Jarrod shook his head. The boy had to be no older than twelve or thirteen.

"How old are you, boy?"

Jarrod heard in a low southern drawl. "Eighteen."

The boy kept his head down as he spoke. It wasn't uncommon to hear different dialects in mining towns. Many people traveled across the country in search of finding a fortune. They brought along their own accents along the way. Those speech patterns were often passed down to the children in the mining towns. Jarrod find the young boy's own southern drawl rather endearing.

Jarrod rolled his eyes. He called loudly."Who are this boy's parent?"

"I don't have no Pa." Heath's voice was still low as he spoke. He was careful not to finish his thoughts of being the word his mama Hannah hated.

Jarrod noticed an older gentleman standing near watching the boy. "Are you with him?"

"I ain't no relation. If that's what you mean." Jessup stepped up. He nodded his head towards Hannah and Rachel. "His Ma is over there though."

Jarrod stood and walked the few feet to the two ladies standing to Jessup's side. He addressed Rachel. "Ma'am, do you realize your son is signing up for a war?"

"I realize that but he isn't my son. But if he was, I understand why he is doing what this child must do." Rachel nodded to Hannah. "He's her son."

Jarrod's brow creased as he turned to the colored woman. After getting past the impossibility of the young boy being the colored woman's, he cleared his throat. "Ma'am."

"I know what it seems, Mister." Hannah looked at Jarrod with tears brimming the edges of her eyes. "But I's got no choice. My boy has to have a way out of this town before it kills him. Look at my boy, Mister. I don't want this. But this way, he's got him a chance."

Jarrod turned to look at the boy in question. This time, Heath was staring directly at him. He swallowed the queasiness at seeing the discolored bruises covering the child. Jarrod could see the proud behind the bruises that covered the majority of the blonde boy's face. One of the boy's eyes was swollen shut and his lip was split. Jarrod had to grab the edge of the table at the sight of the boy. The blue eye that stared back with fierce pride cut deep to Jarrod's heart. His confusion of what to do gnawed at him. He promised himself he'd not let a child sign up under his watch.

Jessup spoke trying to convince the army officer. "You put that boy with a bugle. He ain't never played before but that boy rides a horse like he was born on one." Jessup rubbed his beard. "Iffin' that ain't possible, give him a rifle. Boy Howdy, can the boy shoot. Never seen the likes of a shooter like the boy. He's a might special with horses and a rifle."

"Mister, I'm eighteen." Heath's drawl carried through the air. "If you don't let me sign here. Then I'll just have to find the next town that has a recruitin' place. I wont' take my mama's last nickel to get myself there. Ain't no son gonna do that. That means I'd hafta walk. Now, if you look real close at me, you'll see there isn't much a place on me that ain't bruised exceptin' my feet. Will it make a big powerful man like yourself feel that more powerful to have taken my feet too?"

Lieutenant Ralph allowed a chuckle to escape his lips. The future lawyer had just been outtalked by yellow haired con artist. Ralph came to Jarrod's rescue by taking the decision from his hands.

"Name?" Ralph picked up his pen after dipping it in an ink well. "Sign it here or make your mark."

Heath leaned over the table. Writing his name, Heath glanced up saying proudly. "My name's Heath James."


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter Nine: Innocence of a Child_

Eugene placed his book down as he looked at his little sister, Audra. She was singing a lullaby to her doll. Eugene rolled his eyes as he picked his book up again to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Audra spoke softly as she peered at her older brother.

She was only two years younger than her twelve year old brother. Yet, Eugene seemed to think he was much older and wiser than Audra.

"My bedroom." Eugene tucked the book under his arm. "I can't think to read with all your playing."

Audra sucked in her bottom lip. "It is lonely here without Nick or Jarrod. Especially Nick because Jarrod was gone to school most of the time anyway. Nick always took the time to show me the horses and take me riding. Father does sometimes but he is really busy lately."

Eugene moaned as he realized it was now his duty as a brother to comfort his little sister. "Nick will be back before you know it, Audra."

"Do you think so?" Audra perked up at her brother's words. "He promised when he gets back that we're going to go pick out a new horse for me. Nick told me father said I am outgrowing my pony. Do you want to go look at the horses with me?"

"No." Eugene answered honestly. "Nick would rather take you when he gets back."

Audra nodded in agreement. "What do you think Nick and Jarrod are doing right about now, Eugene?"

Eugene sat down on the chair adjacent Audra's chair. He placed his book on his lap. He flipped the pages of his book as he concentrated thinking of the pages he had read earlier. The story told of brave knights against tyranny.

With the innocence of a child, Eugene contemplated his answer as he leaned back. "I guess right about now they're both eating supper before heading back out to do their missions. I suppose Jarrod is working on some top secret plans to keep the Rebels from gaining any ground while Nick is riding his horse towards the enemy. I bet he's sitting high in his saddle with his gun handy. I bet the Rebs are running scared at seeing Nick while they are confused by the trickery that Jarrod has put before them." Eugene nodded as he thought about it. That was exactly what his brothers were doing. Both brothers were heroically saving the war. "Yep. I bet that's what they're doing and everyone is looking at them like they are heroes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Major Jarrod Barkley pulled his coat tighter as he headed towards the mess tent. The rain had drenched him to the bone. Every part of his body ached as he trudged through the thick mud. The mud releasing from his boots made a sucking sound as he stepped one foot after the other. When he finally made it to the mess tent, he practically collapsed down in the chair as he looked at his 2nd Lieutenant.

"Well, have you heard anything?" Jarrod inquired once again of the officer under his command.

Ralph shook his head. "I'm sorry, Jarrod." They both let formalities of the army go when speaking in private. "I know you sent the boy with Captain Rawlings to keep him off the front line. But his name isn't on Captain Rawlings roster now."

"I specifically assigned him to that company. It was the safest I could think of. There were no skirmishes in that area." Jarrod closed his eyes and gripped his hands into fists. "What happened?"

"Well, now you can ask Captain Rawlings himself." Ralph nodded towards the entrance of the tent. "He's here for his next detail."

Ralph motioned for the Captain to come towards their table. Jarrod had kept his best tabs on his little brother, Nick Barkley. He hated the fact that Nick was right in the thick of some major skirmishes. However, a pride had overtook him when he found out his brother was now a lieutenant and an aide for a General. Like himself, Nick was moving up fast in rank. Jarrod only wished that Nick could help with the piles of paperwork that had to be produced on legalities and such. There was a great sense of accomplishment in the work Jarrod was doing for the Union army. It would be nice to have his brother safe by his side. Jarrod put away those thoughts because it wasn't Nick who Jarrod was enquiring about.

"Jarrod." Captain Stewart Rawlings sat down. He knew the titles weren't needed when speaking on matters not associated with Major Barkley's position. "I hear you were asking about one of my men."

"Yes, Stew." Jarrod took a bite of rabbit meat that was placed before him by a Private. The Private scurried away as quickly as he had came. Jarrod then took a swig of his drink, supposed to be whiskey. He wasn't sure what type of whiskey. It tasted more like rotted wood than anything. However, it was strong. "His name is Heath James. He was a young blonde soldier signed in Strawberry."

"Oh yeah." Stew sighed out. "Young was an understatement. I was kinda shocked he was signed under you, Jarrod. Not that there isn't plenty of boys fighting this war. But you're known for not signing the young ones."

"I signed him." Ralph admitted quickly. He knew Heath James was a sore spot for Jarrod. "The kid didn't give us a choice. Claimed he was eighteen and would find someone to sign him."

Stew laughed slightly. "Oh, I believe you. Didn't take long before I saw that boy's stubbornness. Shoot, the boy cusses, takes prostitutes, and shoots like a man."

"Prostitutes?" Jarrod was disgusted at any man that would allow the young boy to be with a woman.

"Now, wait a minute, Jarrod." Stew became defensive. "I tried to watch out for the kid. But that boy you sent me wasn't much a kid at all. I figured his age was twelve or thirteen as far as years but that boy didn't know what it was like to be a kid. So don't go blaming me if a band of harlots made it to our camp. I'll never forget what he said to the harlot who led the group of girls."

 _Heath sat back on the cold ground. He watched as the older soldiers whooped and hollered at the women entering the camp. Some of the men teased the boy on the women that approached saying how Heath was going to get a chance to lose his innocence to one of the women. Heath rolled his eyes as he rubbed his feet. They had marched most of the day before making camp. Heath was glad he hadn't seen any gun fire. Some of the men were complaining they wanted in on the action. Heath thought it was silly wanting to be shot at when they got the same pay for scouting areas in a safe zone. But he wouldn't voice that._

 _One of the men, who teased Heath for his youth, brought a painted woman over to Heath. Her hair was graying and her body seemed to be squeezed into her too tight a corset. Her cheeks were way too rosy and her lashes had on thick lining. A fake black mark was on the side of her cheek._

 _"This boy says he's eighteen." Earl Cantrell spit a bit of tobacco out. It hit on the top of Heath's boots, which were sitting beside Heath. Heath gave Earl a death stare with his ice blue eyes._

 _"I am eighteen." Heath squared back his shoulders as he rubbed the tobacco spit of his boot. It was the only pair of shoes the boy had owned all his own. He would take care of them._

 _"Well, why don't you show her what kind of man you are, Heath? Seemin' as you claim you're a man." Earl teased the blonde boy. "I'll pay."_

 _The older woman looked at Heath. She hated how some soldiers had taunted the younger soldiers into being men. "No pressure, boy. It is up to you. No one can force you to do what you don't want."_

 _Heath let the words roll through his thoughts. "Don't reckon they can, Ma'am." Heath grinned lopsided as he realized the decisions in such matters were finally his. "No offense, I don't reckon you will do for me. You remind me too much of my aunt with your age and all."_

 _The older woman's was called Sassy. She flinched a little at the young boy's disdain for his aunt. She had seen a few of her girls come to her to get away from an abusive life from a family member. This boy had the same disdain and anger in him._

 _Sassy smiled sweetly."Like I said, your choice."_

 _Heath nodded towards the wagon where the harlots were sitting while the soldiers ogled them. "How's about the Mexican girl? She looks more my age."_

 _"That's Lupe." Sassy sighed out. She hated the life a lot of the girls were forced to live so they wouldn't starve. "She's new to this life. She had her an abusive mother. Her ma liked to hit the girl around. She's only sixteen."_

 _"Sounds about right for an eighteen year old. Since Earl is payin' and all." Heath winked as he stood up. "Maybe I can teach her a thing or two."_

 _Earl laughed and smacked his leg as he watched the arrogant boy head over to gorgeous Mexican prostitute. Sassy felt dismayed as she thought about what kind of life the boy must have lived for him to be so easily persuaded to take a prostitute. The young boy didn't show fear like a lot of the younger shoulders had when the prostitutes made it into their camps._

 _Her voice was barely audible as she said. "I bet you can, boy. I bet you can."_

Stew swallowed as he looked at Jarrod. "Plenty of young soldiers try to prove they're a man, Jarrod. That boy was no different."

Ralph came to Stew's defense by trying to change the subject. "What does that have to do with where Heath James is now?"

"Oh yeah." Stew came back to his story. "Heath James wasn't one to take anything from anybody. I don't care how old he was. After the prostitutes left, Earl kept trying to rile the boy up about what happened with the prostitute. We all saw the girl kissing Heath heatedly goodbye. Seems that Mexican girl was more smitten by the boy than he was with her. She probably figured he was eighteen like he claimed. Maybe she thought Heath would save her from her life of prostitution. Anyway, Earl just wouldn't let it go."

Jarrod was getting irritated with Stew's rambling on. "So what happened?"

"I'm getting to that." Stew rubbed his chin. "We were camped with another company headed towards a known Rebel camp. As a matter of fact, Colonel Emery Caudill was the regiment leader. Heath went off to himself getting more and more irate with ole' Earl. I don't blame the boy. Earl was relentless teasing the boy about trying to fill a man's shoes. Well, to make a long story short..."

Jarrod arched an eyebrow as he looked at Ralph. He whispered. "Too late for that."

"Ole' Earl was getting ready to put in a new plug of tobacco when it suddenly went flying out of his hand. Every body stared in disbelief when that young whipper snapper came from the trees about 100 feet from where Earl was. Heath James grinned a lopsided grin as he stared at the pale face of Earl. That boy had went and shot that tobacco right out of Earl's hand. None of us were sure how far away he was when he did. But he sure as heck scared the daylights out of Earl. Lucky for that boy, we all knew there was no Rebs around. There was some men out hunting for food when Heath shot. Figured that was why we heard the shot. But seeing Earl's face told a different story. Then a few men started talking about Heath being one of the best hunters and all. Saying the boy never wasted a bullet. Some of the men even started talking about how the boy was silent when he made it through the woods. Said he was as good as any Indian."

Jarrod's face became a shade of red. "Dear Lord, No."

Stew shook his head yes. Ralph glanced at both men trying to understand what had come to Jarrod through Stew's rambling.

"What?" Ralph finally asked.

"Colonel Caudill is known for getting behind enemy lines and taking out some important officers. He is known to use sharpshooters and Indians able to take down a man without their presence known." Jarrod held his breath after stating the words. "He took Heath James and assigned him to another company. Didn't he?"

Stew nodded as he said with sorrow. "That boy didn't have much left as far as an innocence of being a child. I figure he lost what was left of that by the time Colonel Caudill put the boy to killing like men do."

 **A/N According to the history of young boys in the civil war, boys of very young age took to taking prostitutes, drinking and other things that are now considered to be for adults and not children.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:Cute as a Button

It was a nice sunny day perfect for a gathering in the church yard. The roles of tables displayed a plethora of foods ranging from baked goods to meats. There was an atmosphere of celebration undeterred by the fact the country was in the middle of a war.

Victoria held tightly to her childrens' hands as they headed towards the church building. Eugene had selected to dress in his Sunday best which consisted of a light gray suit and a matching string tie over a white shirt. Tom had looked at his son's choice of attire when Eugene first approached him. Like Jarrod, Eugene had a propensity to dress like what Tom considered an English gentleman rather than an American cowboy. Nick seemed to be the only son who enjoyed attire more like his father.

Tom's little girl was dressed like the princess he thought she was. Audra wore a pale green dress that showed off her petite waist. Being eleven, she was growing into a lovely young lady. Even though that was a fact, Audra still preferred pigtails to curls. Looking opposite of their children, Victoria and Tom both dressed in more casual attire as they walked up with their family to the group already gathered on the church lawn.

The town was having a large outing for all the children who had a relative in the war. Victoria had been the head of the planning committee since it was her idea. The gathering wasn't exclusive to those not having a relative in the war. Tom nodded his head at Willy and Jenny Miles as he passed them. They didn't have any children in the war but they were volunteering their time to help at the event.

Eugene and Audra soon were running to the other children to enjoy themselves. Momentarily, both Barkley children forgot about their brothers being away from home.

"This was a good idea, Vic." Tom wrapped his arm tightly around his wife's waist. "The children can forget even if just for a little while."

"I hope so ,Tom. I can see how Jarrod and Nick being gone has wore on our own children. I can't imagine how some of the children feel if they have a father off to war." Victoria Barkley sighed out as she looked around at all the children laughing as they went from various games set up on the church yard.

Tom squeezed his wife's shoulder as he glanced at his youngest son. "Looks like Eugene has taken a liking to Cora Lynn. That explains his fancy duds."

Victoria looked over to where her thirteen year old son awkwardly stood talking to a girl with long reddish brown hair. The girl was a cute girl with a hint of freckles on her face. The girl shyly fluttered her eyes at Eugene as she attempted to flirt with the youngest of the male Barkleys.

Jenny Miles walked up to stand by Victoria. "Evan and Audra are fighting again. Willy sat Evan down for a spell. He pulled one of Audra's pigtails. I think it embarrassed Willy more that Evan was punched in the gut by Audra." Jenny laughed along with Victoria. Then she glanced over to Eugene and Cora Lynn. "Well, aren't they cute as a button."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lieutenant Nick Barkley glanced over the soldiers hunkered together to keep the cold wind from biting at their skin. He had witnessed a travesty only days before. His heart still broke with the knowledge that innocent civilians had died at his own company's hands. He thanked God that he wasn't one of the men killing the innocent. Instead, he had been one of the few soldiers who kept their heads during the crazed event. Nick knew that he'd be haunted for years with that horrible day. However, he still was a soldier. He still had a job to do. Nick Barkley also still believed in what the Union Army stood for.

Nick was no longer an aide to General Alderson, the commander on that fateful day. General Alderson had been assigned to another regime after that day. Nick had chosen to go on in battle being assigned to another regime as well.

Now, Nick was serving in a company under Captain Zachariah Campbell. He was a good captain, who valued each and every one of his men. Captain Campbell was also a strict army man. The company was under the regime led by Colonel Caudill, who was known for having his companies report at various times when the war was able to bring them to one place. This was one of those days. Therefore, Nick was told to report to Caudill instead of Campbell for a special duty.

"Lieutenant Barkley, reporting for duty." Nick saluted Colonel Caudill with the utmost respect.

Nick had heard of Colonel Caudill's strategic use of sharpshooters and infiltrations of enemy camps. He had also been told due to Caudill's strategy using sharpshooters, many a battle had been won or deterred.

"At ease." Colonel Caudill glanced up from peering at some maps, which were scattered on on old desk top. "Lieutenant Barkley?"

"Yes, Sir." Nick allowed his rigid stance to relax.

"I've heard good things about you. I'm glad to have a good soldier join my regime. I very much admire your brother, Major Jarrod Barkley. He is highly intelligent on matters that are beyond my understanding with this ##%% war."

"Thank you, Sir." Nick didn't exactly know how to respond to the subject even if it gave him a sense of pride. So he waited for instructions on his duty.

Colonel Caudill rubbed his neck as he continued to concentrate on the maps. "We've been informed of General Tanner being in this area. That Reb has caused too much chaos for us Yankees. We need him out of the equation. Problem is that he's highly guarded and keeps inside his blasted tent most of the day. Fortunately, we have engaged some of his men in a skirmish outside the perimeter of his camp. That leaves General Tanner hiding in what the Rebs perceive as a secret location." He glanced up at Nick alerting that wasn't the case. "I've sent two sharpshooters to the area about a mile from here. The two are the best we've got. Probably the best in the whole Union Army. Well, that is my bragging, I guess. But it seems they can't get a bead on Tanner. I want you to go up and access the situation. If you have an idea, please feel free to share it with those two men. We need to somehow fish General Tanner out so he can be taken down."

"Yes Sir." Nick nodded with another salute. "I'll access the situation and hopefully I can help."

"Private Banner!" Colonel Caudill yelled out. Glancing around, he spotted the soldier approaching.

"Yes, Sir, Colonel." The soldier wasn't standing at attention.

Colonel wasn't one for formalities. He was more into winning the war with any means possible.

"Take Lt. Barkley to meet up with Alroy and Button." The Colonel kept scouring the maps. "Head back here after you do."

"Yes. Sir." The private nodded for Nick to follow him.

After mounting the horses, the two men headed towards the location of the sharpshooters. Nick often wondered what kind of man it took to kill an unarmed man. He wasn't ignorant. Nick knew it was a necessity in the war. However, he couldn't help but wonder how a man handled the stress of shooting another human, who wasn't shooting back.

It took approximately an hour to travel the short distance. The reason being was the trail was thickly covered in forest. Nick was impressed of how well the sharpshooters were hidden in the wooded area on an overhang looking down on a thickly forested valley. Nick realized that if he hadn't been led there by the private, he'd have never found the place.

They dismounted their horses and tied them at an out of way creek. Then Nick followed the private up a steep hill.

The private made a whistling sound that sounded like a bird call. Suddenly, there was a few calls back and another whistle from the private. Then Nick almost jumped back when two brush piles began to move. Soon Nick realized they weren't piles of brush at all but they were the two sharp shooters finely disguised.

The next shock came when Nick was introduced to the two privates known as the best sharpshooters that Caudill had to offer. The first one was older than Nick by at least five years. Nick figured he was around Jarrod's age.

"This here is our first in charge of our sharpshooter division." The private nodded to the older man.

The man laughed as he stuck out his hand to shake Nick's hand. "Name's Alroy O'Doherty. Call me Alroy, me lad. Don't be impressed by the first in charge of the sharpshooter's division. There are only two of us." His Irish accent was evident in his speech. "I just bout the best if this boy here wasn't brought in a few months back. This here be Button."

That was Nick's next shock due to the boy being so very young. "Button?"

"Yep. That's me. I suppose." The boy stuck out his hand to shake Nick's. "Well, that's what they call me."

Nick chuckled haughtily. "Why because you're cute as a button? How old are you? Fifteen?"

"Eighteen." The boy, who was covered from head to toe in mud and foliage, answered in an irate tone. "Though, I am a handsome fella so I've been told. That ain't how I came about the name. Button is a whole lot better nickname than eyeball. Real name's Heath. But my as well call me Button. No one calls me anythin' else here."

Heath ignored the curious look from the man in front of him. He realized the man couldn't be no more than five years older than himself. Heath figured that put the man at age eighteen. The tall man must be something to already be ranking up in the army. Heath had put his life on the line more times than he could count since joining the war six months prior. Didn't see himself moving up in the ranks. Every soldier was putting their life on the line anyway. He was no different. So it had to be something else moving the men up in ranks.

"If you're eighteen, I'm a grandfather." Nick quipped towards the young soldier.

"Well, grandpa, I'm eighteen." Heath blew out a breath of air. Why did men insist on berating his age. He was doing his duty as much as the other soldiers. "So deal with it."

Alroy chuckled as he settled down against a rock. He leaned his back into the rock as he watched the interaction between the two young soldiers.

Finally, Nick sat down beside Alroy offering the man a drink of his canteen. "Didn't realize I was going from a General's aide to reporting for babysitting duty."

Heath lay down on the ground looking through his rifle's scope. In a slow drawl, he stated. "I wouldn't take that from the youngin' if I were you, Alroy."

Then Heath crawled over to the edge of the ledge to take a better peek at the valley.

Alroy snickered as he nodded to Nick. "Do you know why the boy is called Button?"

Nick glanced over at Alroy. "Do tell."

Alroy took a swig of the water. "Wish this was something stronger. Been up on this ol' cliff for near a week and a half. Can see the camp but can't get a point on the Reb we want." He glanced at Nick. "Let me tell you. Most of the men say the same about Button. He don't even have to shoot. He can just think it. Then button or eyeball and pow. That's the way he got the name Button."

"Button does sound better than eyeball. He's that good. Huh?" Nick arched an eyebrow. "Hard to believe. He's barely old enough to fill out his boots. No less shoot a rifle."

"Button doesn't say much about how long he's been shootin'. Bout figure the boy has been shootin' longer than he could stay up right with a rifle. He's a strange one too."

"What do you mean?" Nick glanced to see Heath. He couldn't make out the boy's body amongst the brush and weeds.

"Little Button there can sneak up on a man before the man has a chance to blink." Alroy shook his head. "Don't seem to bother him none either. If you know what I mean."

Nick hoped he didn't know what the man meant. Did he actually mean the boy would kill without a reaction even close up combat? He decided not to think about it. He had a job to do. Therefore, Nick made his way to the edge of cliff. Heath glanced over at Nick. The white of his eyes stood out along with his piercing blue orbs due to the mud covering the boy.

Alroy had made his way to Nick and Heath. "Can't get the old codger to come from his tent?"

Looking at Nick, Heath spoke in one smooth drawl. "What you figurin', Lieutenant?"

"We need to have a distraction down there. That's the only way the man may come out. I doubt any other place will work. His guards will think it is too dangerous to investigate." Nick looked through the scope of Heath's gun. "How many men in all not counting General Tanner?" 

"Seven. You got the cook and four guards. Then you have the General's personal aide and another officer ranked right under." Heath ran his hand along the length of his gun barrel as if he was measuring something. "I think we should take out both officers just in case. One might just be Tanner's decoy. To be honest, I ain't sure which is which."

"True." Nick grimaced as he thought about the best action to take. "The cook is off on the side away. Could get some type of fire started there to make them think their tent is on fire.I don't want the tent burnt if we can help it. There might be some important information in that tent. Hopefully, the men will think it was accidentally done by the cook. We'd have to get him out of the way first if we could even get a fire started some way from a distance."

Heath nodded as he sat up. He took off his boots. "Keep a track of my boots for me, Lieutenant."

"Be careful, Button." Alroy stated as he watched the boy add mud to his bare feet.

Heath nodded and disappeared. Nick glared at Alroy with questioning eyes. "What's he doing?"

"Starting that fire to smoke 'em out, I figure." Alroy picked up his gun to look through his scope. "Betcha the wee lad can make it back before the fire brings the general out of the tent. A pint will do."

Nick agreed to the bet then threw himself on the ground as he grabbed up Heath's rifle. He stared down the scope worried about the young boy. He couldn't see any movement in the surrounding area. It wasn't until he saw a knife hit in the middle of the cook's forehead, did Nick understand what was happening. Spotting Heath, he noticed the boy lighting a fire after pulling the body of the cook to a hiding place.

Nick swallowed as he stared at the guards. He said a silent prayer the boy would go undetected. When he turned back to spot Heath, he could no longer see the boy. Nick felt his heart race as he desperately tried to find Heath's form moving in the area. It seemed like an eternity before a little smoke started to come from the camp. It was barely visible.

"Fire will pick up soon." The voice beside Nick startled him. "I made sure to give me time to get out. The grease will pick up the flame shortly then smoke up the tent real good. I vented it to do so."

Nick stared in awe at the stealthness of the boy. Heath took his rifle from Nick. "You ready, Alroy?"

"I'm ready, lad." Alroy peered through the scope of his own rifle. "Wait until we see the general and the other officer."

"Yep." Heath agreed.

Nick settled down and waited patiently for the fire to pick up. Then suddenly, there was a huge cloud of smoke encamping the officer's tent. Just as desired, the men in the tent ran out to get fresh air.

Nick's eyes blinked as he saw a bullet pierce the first officer's head. He glanced over at Heath and Alroy. Both males were clearly concentrating on their job. Nick heard Heath whisper softly before pulling the trigger of his rifle again.

"Aim sure. Don't let them suffer. Aim sure."

Nick shook himself out of the awe he was feeling at the quickness and exactness of the flying bullets. Nick pulled his own rifle firing at the men scurrying below. He wasn't sure if he hit anyone but Nick saw the men falling one right after the other.

"That's it, lad." Alroy stood up. "Best see the damage before calling in the troops."

Nick nodded in agreement as the trio made it down the steep slope to get his horse. Nick rode his army issued stallion while Heath and Alroy made it on foot to the enemy camp. It was quick work as the adrenaline had taken over each of them.

Nick saw a flash of light in the woods above them. Without hesitation, Nick threw himself off his horse and onto the younger of the sharpshooters. Two gunshots rang out just as Nick covered Heath's body. Nick rolled to his side off of Heath. In a quick motion, Nick saw Heath raise his rifle and fire a shot.

"Oh, Laddy. We didn't figure for them havin' one of their own." Alroy shook his head as he stood up. "They winged me."

Heath shook his head. "Got his leg too." Heath pointed to Nick. In a spew of colorful language that would make a sailor blush, Heath stringed along a few sentences before settling on. "Sorry, Lieutenant. Should've known the general would have their own shooter in the woods."

"I'm fine. Bullet went clean through. " Nick growled as he pulled himself off the ground. He limped over to the camp. He allowed his body to sit on a tree stump."Get on my horse and ride back to the company. Send a medic."

Heath nodded. He then walked over to the place where he had hidden the cook's body. Nick watched as the young boy pulled the knife from the forehead of the dead cook. Heath wiped the bloody blade down the front of his pants before tucking it in the front of his uniform's belt.

"My best friend, John Eagle, gave me this here knife." Heath explained as he glanced back to Nick.

Nick nodded his understanding of the want to keep the knife. But he still felt a wave of uneasiness at how the young boy never flinched when he took the knife from his victim. Then he saw a more disturbing scene when Heath walked up to one of the men shot.

Nick heard the man, one of Tanner's guards, say in an angry tone. "You're just a little bastard."

Heath grinned and took his rifle placing it against the man's forehead. Right before he pulled the trigger he stated. "You have no idea how right you are, Reb."

Nick's eyes widened as he watched the young boy walk away unfazed by the man's brains splattered on him. Then with one elegant movement, Heath mounted Nick's horse without touching his foot to the stirrup.

The pain of Nick's leg was a dull throb as he sat motionless on the stump. He watched as Alroy put out the fire so the smoke would quickly dissipate. Neither man was wounded too badly. The bleeding had stopped with both due to makeshift bandages. A silence hung in the air as both men waited for Colonel Caudill and a few men to come to the enemy camp.

The thundering sound of hooves finally allowed Nick to sigh out in relief. Colonel Caudill dismounted as he headed towards the tent.

The medic informed both men their wounds weren't life threatening but they'd be out of commission for a few weeks. Then he cleaned and wrapped each man's wounds. Nick stood up and limped towards Colonel Caudill, who had pulled out a small notebook.

"Sir." Nick watched as a few soldiers gathered items from the tent.

"We got a lot of useful information from Tanner's tent. We'll box it up and have some soldiers take it back to our camp." Colonel Caudill walked around the camp as Nick limped after him. He stopped at the cook's body. He said. "Button." Then he walked on to one of the guards. "Alroy."

Nick watched curiously as Colonel Caudill continued taking note of the dead men. "Alroy got Tanner but Button got the other officer. Seems Button got four and Alroy two. Well, Button got the man in the woods too. Done counted him though." General Caudill stooped down beside the guard that Heath had shot in the head. "Button finished this one off. I suppose you shot him first."

Finally realizing that Colonel Caudill was taking tally of who shot who, he asked curiously. "How did you know that?"

Alroy shoots for the chest. He said that is the biggest area on most men so that's how his father taught him to shoot. Button always puts a bullet hole or knife between the eyes. You had to do the gut shot. No way Button would shoot a man in the gut."

"Why is that?" Nick swallowed as he peered at Colonel Caudill. He couldn't figure out how the colonel could be so nonchalant about the boy killing the man in such a cold blooded way.

"The boy don't want any man to suffer. The gut shot would've killed him eventually but the man may have suffered for hours before death took him. Button won't let a man suffer." Colonel Caudill stood up as he looked at Nick. Caudill was satisfied with his explanation so he left Nick standing dumbfounded.

Alroy spoke to Nick as they were loaded into the awaiting wagon. "That lad can shoot but he's got a heart o' gold. He always says to not let 'em suffer. Might not be how some men see it but Button has his own way of dealin' with his line of duty."

Understanding Heath's reason for shooting the man wasn't cruelty or being a deprived human being but a way of making sure the man didn't have a painful death, Nick sighed out. "I got to get something I forgot. Do you think one of the privates could help me get Button's boots?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Conversation with Family**

13 year old, Eugene Barkley, was bouncing with anticipation. Today, his oldest brother was coming home from the war. Although the war wasn't over, Jarrod had served his time as far as the army was concerned. Major Jarrod Barkley had been an asset. Eugene was excited because he wanted to talk to Jarrod about the war. However, Eugene also was desperate to speak to someone other than his parents about the beautiful Cora Lynn Simms.

Eugene would wait until his parents and little sister settled to bed, then he'd make his way to speak to Jarrod. Man to man.

The celebration among the family was more than Jarrod expected. His mother had made sure a meal fit for a king was placed on the table by Silas. All of Jarrod's favorites were there for the taking. Victoria couldn't help but continually touching her son's arm or kissing his cheek. She was still in a state of bliss knowing her oldest was home after being gone for over a year in service for the country.

"I've missed you so, Jarrod." Victoria sighed as she broke down with tears. "I can't wait to have all of you home safely."

Jarrod kissed the crown of Victoria's head. He glanced over her small frame at his father. The man nodded his head towards the study. Thomas Barkley was alerting his oldest son that he'd very much like some time with him when her mother was done fawning over their oldest child. After Jarrod assured Victoria that he was safe and that Nick was safe too, he made his way to the family study while Victoria settled down Audra to bed.

It was in the study, where Jarrod spoke to his father of the war. He told of his work with strategy among generals and captains. He told of keeping a line of information open of his brother Nick.

"Nick was shot." Jarrod raked his fingers nervously over the glass of watched his father's face contort with fear. He added quickly."He's fine but I've been informed he'll be headed home soon. The army fears his wound will infect if they keep him in the battle. Nick doesn't know that yet. He's still with Colonel Caudill. But I've been informed that your other son will be headed home very soon."

Tom stared at the fire dancing in the fireplace. He studied the flames as he concentrated on Jarrod's words. Jarrod knew to wait for his father to speak. The man was loud just as Nick was when it came to entering somewhere, passion in his voice, but he seemed to concentrate when using words of his family.

"He will be able to work on the ranch. Won't he?" Tom Barkley was relieved his son was alive. He was thankful when other parents didn't have that blessing. However, he knew his middle son was passionate about the land as he was.

"Yes." Jarrod answered his father's concerns. He knew why Tom Barkley worried. "That is part of the reason the army is releasing him. They don't want him to fall victim to amputation like others stuck in the war. The war is slowing down. The south is losing but are still too stubborn to give up. It won't be long before this war is over."

"I can't wait to see all my family home." Tom turned to stare at his oldest child. He noticed Jarrod was concentrating on the liquid in his glass rather than drinking it. Tom felt a sudden fear. Was there something Jarrod wasn't telling him about Nick? "What is it, Jarrod? What is bothering you? Is Nick really safe?"

Jarrod glanced up from his drink. "Nick is fine, father. I'm sorry. I didn't realize my feelings were being worn on my sleeve."

Tom made his way to sit on the chair adjacent Jarrod. He squeezed Jarrod's shoulder. "Tell me."

"I can't explain it, father. But there is this young boy that signed up while I was doing duty as a recruiter. It was my goal to make sure a child didn't sign. I knew a lot of recruiters didn't care. I wanted to help a few kids out. This kid was determined due to trying to escape obvious abuse. So I let him sign."

"Well, if the kid was determined, you had no way to stop him." Tom tried to ease his oldest son's conscience. "How old was the boy?"

"Not sure." Jarrod took a sip of his drink before staring deeply at his father's eyes. "I think about the age of Eugene. Maybe a little older. But I think he was twelve or thirteen. Of course, Heath James claimed to be eighteen. I assigned him with a company that was a scouting group. I knew he'd be safe from war that way."

"I take it something happened." Tom arched his eyebrow as he saw his son's chest heave with a large sigh.

"The kid was a crack shot. He was discovered for that talent and made into a sniper..sharp shooter, whatever you call it." Jarrod balled his fists up in anger. "I can't imagine having to kill a man at that young of an age. Let alone in that way."

"I know this will be little conciliation to you, Jarrod. But at least the boy can be at a distance to the gun fire. This Heath boy can be a little safer." As Tom swigged back a drink of his whiskey, he sat back studying his son. "This boy really got to you. Didn't he?"

Jarrod nodded his confirmation. "I can't explain it, father. That boy got to me. He was such a little guy. He looked younger than twelve or thirteen but I decided that he was probably smaller because of malnutrition but he had a stubborn streak mightier than a grown man. This boy's face was swollen from a beating. I let him know I wouldn't sign him. He made me the bad guy by saying he didn't have a place on his body that wasn't bruised or hurting except his feet. The boy had the audacity to say I was trying to make his feet get damaged too!"

Tom chuckled at his older son being outwitted by a young boy. He could only imagine Jarrod's look of pride in the boy. "Sounds like a child I'd like to meet."

Jarrod nodded with a smile. Then his countenance fell. "I hope that spirit doesn't get squashed by the hands of men taking advantage of the boy in war."

"What about the boy's parents? Are they the ones that beat him?" Tom asked as he thought of his youngest son being in place of that boy. He imagined he'd kill someone that hurt his child like that.

"I'm not sure the boy even had parents. A former slave woman showed up claiming to be his mother. I could tell that woman loved the boy as such. It wasn't up to me to question that." Jarrod poured himself another drink.

"Maybe he was one of the mixed children. Maybe the town's folk hurt the kid because of that." Tom surmised as he looked at his son.

"No. The kid wasn't hers for sure. Heath was a blonde and blue eyed as Audra." Jarrod looked up to notice Eugene waiting patiently by the door. He winked at his father. "It looks like little brother wants some time with me."

Tom stood up. He squeezed his oldest son's shoulder once more. "Nurture the boy that you can help, Jarrod. Eugene missed you. He's growing up on you."

Tom left so his sons could talk. Eugene loved informing Jarrod about Cora Lynn. Jarrod smiled as he listened intently to his little brother.

"She sounds like a lovely girl, Eugene." Jarrod chuckled. "I'm glad you found a friend in her."

Eugene blushed as he looked at his older brother. He swallowed nervously before speaking. "She's more than a friend, Jarrod." Eugene paused as his face brightened red further. "She's my girlfriend. I even kissed her. Square on the lips."

"Well, well, now." Jarrod tried to look serious. "This is serious. I am glad you shared this with me, young man. The first girlfriend and first kiss is the sweetest."

"I'm gonna marry her." Eugene argued. "We've already discussed it."

"I see." Jarrod stuck out his hand to shake his little brother's hand. He would play along with his brother. "Then a congratulations is in order."

Eugene shook his brother's hand. He felt like a man. Jarrod wanted to pull his young brother to him in an embrace. However, he knew the thirteen year old boy was wanting to feel like a man. Jarrod once again played along knowing how it felt to be a thirteen year old boy.

Jarrod loved the innocence of Eugene. He loved the boy was too naive to realize the first kiss was nothing compared to the things to come in adulthood. Jarrod thoughts skipped to Heath James. His childhood was gone. The boy had already done much more than a first kiss. Heath James had done much more than even some adult men.

Jarrod would bask in the innocence of his little brother for now. He needed the reprieve.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lieutenant Nick Barkley stared in astonishment at Colonel Caudill's words. "Home?"

Colonel Caudill shook his head. "You heard right, Lieutenant. You're going home. That shot in the leg may hurt but it is a ticket home. This war is almost over. The Rebs just need to face it."

Nick swallowed as he looked over the company of men. He saw the young blonde boy sitting alone by a small fire. The boy wasn't as old as Nick had originally thought. After the blonde had bathed and cleaned up from the mud, his youth shown even more glaringly. The boy was trying to roll a cigarette as his hands shook wildly.

"What is going to happen to the boy? Button?" Nick sighed as he stared at the boy feeling a sense of need to help the youth.

"Button?" Colonel Caudill raised his eyebrow. "That boy has no father and I doubt even his own mother cares for that boy. Why do you?"

Nick stared at the Colonel breathing in deeply. He was never a person to keep his opinions to himself. This was the same case. "Why don't you? He's a boy."

Caudill chuckled at Nick Barkley's arrogance. "What makes you think I don't?"

"No offense, Colonel. But Button does some dangerous things." Nick sighed out. "It's just difficult to see that boy like he is. I have a brother his age. My father would never let his boy go into war. Someone should care about him."

"Well, Heath James happens to say he has a Mama who cares. But she can't read nor write. So Heath is alone here except for all these men. I happen to be very pleased that Button can shoot like he can. It keeps the boy off front line. Even a drummer or a bugle boy are in more danger than Heath James as a sharp shooter." Colonel Caudill raked his hand down his weary face. "I didn't want Button to be in on the infiltration of camps. He chose to do that because he made friends with one of the men that did. An Indian named Charlie Whitehorse. Heath is good at what he does because of being taught by Charlie and some other Modoc Indians from where he grew up."

"I saw that." Nick noticed how Caudill went from calling Heath by his name then Button. He also noticed the Colonel's look of emotion when he mentioned the boy by name. Maybe all the men called him Button to not be so close to a boy doing a man's job. "Will his life keep going like this? He makes a lot of kills. He seems not to care for human life."

"He cares." Caudill nodded to Heath. "Notice his shaking. The boy has his own way of shutting down his humanity when he has to. Then it hits him all at once. So he has to be by himself to recollect himself. I never thought what I did to the men and boys that were to kill as they do. I only thought of the war and winning it. However, Heath makes me rethink it all. I've been called to take some of the regime to New Mexico. I'm taking Button with me."

"New Mexico?" Nick questioned in confusion. "There isn't much as far as war going on there now. New Mexico's part of the war is over. Isn't it?"

"Most of it. However, there are still a few Confederates holding out trying to gain something unlikely to be victorious. I think Heath will be safer there than right in the thick of things here. I'm taking that boy with me wherever I go." Colonel Caudill sighed as he glanced at Heath James. "I'm ready for this war to be over for me and that boy too."

Nick nodded with a grin. His sarcasm in his words was not lost on the colonel. "I think I'll go spend some time with the boy. Since we're both eighteen and all. I guess we have a lot in common."

Colonel Caudill chuckled. "He's not much of a talker. Good luck with that conversation."

Nick limped over to settle himself beside the fire. He looked up at Heath. "Caudill says I get to go home. As soon as the company gets with the rest of the regime."

Heath smiled his patented crooked smile. "That's good."

"This war won't be long, Heath. I bet you'll be heading home before you know it." Nick noticed that Heath's face darkened when he said those words. "Don't you want to go home, Heath?"

"Not particularly." Heath admitted as he rolled out his bedroll. He lay adjacent Nick. "I miss my mama Hannah, Rachel, and Jessup. But the rest of Strawberry can burn in ..." Heath's next few sentences were filled with strong colorful language about the residence of Strawberry.

"Tell me about your mama, Heath." Nick decided to calm the young boy down. "I'd like to hear about her."

"She's the sweetest woman any one could ever know. My Mama Hannah was a former slave." Heath went on talking as if that wasn't unusual. Nick furrowed his eyebrows but allowed the boy to keep on talking. Nick knew a colored woman raising a white boy was unknown. The boy and the woman would live a difficult life with prejudices beyond that which Nick could fathom. Heath continued interrupting Nick's thinking. "My Mama Hannah makes the best biscuits. Melts in your mouth. I miss her. She can give a hug to make all other things go away. Her faith is something else too. Yep. That is my Mama Hannah."

"My mother is very much like your mama. I call her Duchess because she looks like a regal queen. She can make troubles go away with an embrace. But she can scare you to your wits end when she pulls out her wooden spoon."

"My Mama Hannah tans my hide with a wooden spoon too." Heath laughed slightly. "Tell me about your family, Nick."

Nick sighed as he stared up at the clear sky. The stars danced over head as a peace settled over the army camp. "Well, first there is my little sister, Audra. She is eleven. She is so beautiful. Her hair is a golden color and her eyes are the clearest blue. She can fight like a boy but I bet one day I'll be the one fighting boys from lining up to court her."

"You got any brothers?" Heath could picture a cherub face surrounded by long golden locks of hair.

"Yes. I have two. The oldest brother is five years my senior. He is the most intelligent man I know. He is a Major in the army. He's also a lawyer. Very bright. Jarrod is a smooth talker that could talk a nun into giving up her habit. Then the youngest is Eugene. He is thirteen. He is a lot like Jarrod. He wants to learn and absorb as many books as he can." Nick wistfully breathed out. "I don't think he knows what he wants of life yet. But I don't see him working the ranch like father and I do."

"Ranch!" Heath exclaimed as he peered at Nick in stunned disbelief. "Your family owns a ranch. With horses!?"

"You bet. The Barkley Ranch is one of the biggest ranches in all of California." Nick stated proudly watching the blonde boy's eyes light up. "With lots of horses."

"Boy howdy." Heath had his patented smile on his face. He stared up at the sky much like Nick was. "Tell me about your Pa, Nick. I bet you have the best Pa in the world."

"I do. My mother and father are the greatest parents ever. We are blessed with love." Nick said proudly. He looked to see if Heath was jealous of the family. However, all he saw was Heath's relishing in Nick's story.

"I bet your Pa is a big man like you, Nick. Does he have your dark hair and your build? I bet he's something to look at when he's in the saddle." Heath had suddenly felt a hero worship of the Lieutenant's father.

"I'm actually taller. But not by much. He does sit mighty high in the saddle. Never saw a better rancher than he is. My father is loved and respected by so many people especially his children."Nick beamed. "His shoes are hard to fill but I love riding the range with him. No son could be prouder."

"I bet he can catch a wild stallion blind folded." Heath sounded like the young boy he was as he let his imagination take over of the unknown father.

"He's good. I can say that." Nick turned to stare at Heath. "When was your first kiss, Heath? Mine was with Sarah McCallister. She was a raven haired beauty. We was both eleven. I never told any one about her. Not even my father or Jarrod."

Heath grimaced at the thought of his aunt. Then he realized Nick had asked about his first kiss. His aunt never forced him to kiss her. He had to thank the heavens for that. "Her name was Lupe. She was a gorgeous Mexican girl. She was sixteen."

"How old are you really, Heath?" Nick rolled over to look at the young blonde.

"I'm eighteen." Heath blinked as he stared at the sky. "I'll be eighteen until I turn eighteen on my birthday five years from now."

Thirteen! Heath was as young as Eugene. Nick glanced over at Heath. The boy looked to be thinking hard on something. "Heath, you can talk to me about anything. I want you to know that."

Heath took in a shallow breath of much needed air. Heath felt drawn to Nick Barkley. He felt he could trust him. "Lupe was a prostitute, Nick. She was a young girl that came to our camp one day. She was never with a man. I thought I could just talk to her so she would feel safer. But Lupe begged me to take her innocence. She said that if I didn't she'd be forced by some man and not a boy. She felt safer with a boy like she was a girl. She wanted me to be the one to touch her the first time like a woman. I did what she wanted, Nick. Was I wrong in doing that? I enjoyed it not like..." Heath wouldn't tell of his aunt. He couldn't let Nick Barkley see him cry or think less of him. "I was real gentle with her, Nick. She never cried or nothing. She thanked me for what I did. Was I wrong? I need to know the truth, Nick."

"No, Heath, You weren't wrong." Nick assured the young boy. "She asked you to. You didn't force her."

"Nick, was it wrong of me to like what we did? Me and Lupe?" Heath blinked as his eyes wet with unshed tears.

"Naw, boy. It is natural. I like being with a girl too." Nick glanced over hoping he was helping the young boy. Thirteen and little innocence was left in the boy.

"Nick, I sure wish you were my brother." Heath sounded as young as he looked. Nick watched the flame's shadows dance on the boy's angelic face. Heath was a beautiful child. Heath continued speaking softly. He feared Nick would reject him. "I betcha if you were my brother I'd grow up a fine man. I'm a bastard, Nick. A lot of people tell me I ain't never gone be nothin' but trash. I'm nothin' but a mistake of sin by my mama and my papa. Neither one wanted me. Hannah, she took a chance of wantin' me. Her life is hard enough without me messin' with it more. But I think if you were my brother and your pa was my pa, I'd make a mighty fine man someday."

Nick swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. "You're already a fine man, Heath. I'd be honored and privileged if you were my brother."

Heath allowed a tear to sneak over his eye lashes. He blinked as he fought not to cry. Then to make sure Nick didn't see him cry, Heath's face showed with a mischievous glint. "Do you think I could come visit that ranch of yours someday, Nick?"

"Sure. I'd like that." Nick was glad the deep conversation was over. It was hurting his heart for the blonde boy.

"Maybe I can teach that golden haired sister of yours how to to kiss." Heath teased knowing Nick would be his boisterous self. Heath wasn't disappointed.

"Stay away from my sister, boy." Nick warned jokingly. He surely liked this blonde boy. He liked the boy very much.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve: Defending Myself**

Nick Barkley was no longer going to be called Lieutenant Barkley. He was once again going to be known as the son of Thomas and Victoria Barkley. He was the brother of Jarrod, Eugene, and Audra Barkley. He was almost nineteen. He was a rancher. He was going home.

To say Nick Barkley was anxious was something of an understatement. He dreamed of this day for almost a year now. He couldn't wait to be reunited with his loving family. His heart pounded in his chest as he stared out at the Stockton train depot. Nick smiled broadly as he spotted his family standing on the platform.

"They're all there." Nick breathed out as he limped closer to the back of the train.

Embraces were shared, tears flowed, a brother was welcomed home. Nick swept up his little sister in his arms. She was eleven and becoming a tall young lady. Nick gripped her tightly thinking of the year lost with his family.

He whispered to her. "You're beautiful, lil' sister."

Nick's thoughts were on the teasing of one young man named Heath James. He had challenged Nick with giving little Audra her first kiss. What was it about that young man that stuck in his thoughts. Those thoughts were only compounded when he shook hands with Eugene. Eugene looked his age just as Heath James did. However, when he looked into his younger brother's eyes, Nick didn't see the same soul staring back at him. He saw youth and innocence. When he stared into the eyes of Heath James, he saw loss of innocence and deep hurt. Nick also so more than that when he stared into Heath James's eyes when they talked that night, he saw a strength not known to children and very few adults.

Nick would relish in his family on this homecoming. Heath James was a constant nagging to him. He wasn't sure why. Nick had seen other young boys in the war. He had even seen some of the young boys wounded. For some strange reason, Heath James had got to him. In one short week with the boy, he'd bonded with him as if he'd known Heath his whole life. Nick's only satisfaction was thinking that perhaps Heath would come visit the ranch once he was out of the war.

"We're back together." Victoria sighed as they gathered for dinner that evening. "The whole family is home."

Nick frowned at those words. He glanced up to see Jarrod had his own scowl on his face. Why did it feel like there was a missing piece to the family now? Their mother was right. They were all there again. However, when he looked at Jarrod, he knew his older brother felt the same. Something was missing. Perhaps, it was being with all the others in the war. Perhaps, that is all it was due to not being with family for so long. Neither was sure but both felt an ache for that missing piece.

A week after being home, Nick was feeling cornered. His mother was keeping a close vigil on Nick. He knew it was with her best intentions. However, he knew there were things he could do around the ranch that wouldn't require using his leg or causing more damage. Nick knew it was more the worry of a mother. Jarrod and Tom both knew Nick was a powder keg waiting to explode if Victoria didn't lighten up. Therefore, when Audra begged her older brother to help pick out her new horse, Tom insisted Victoria loosen the reins and allow Nick to do this simple task.

The brother and sister road in the family's surrey to the out corrals from the ranch. The Barkleys kept the trained, calmer horses in that corral. Audra and Nick picked out a fine mare for Audra's first horse. She was simply enamored by the lovely horse. It was well trained and had a beautiful cream colored coat. Audra named it a girly name of some type flower. Nick grunted but could see the love and bond his eleven year old sister was already forming with her "ButterCup". Therefore, he didn't mind the name as long as his little sister appreciated her horse.

Audra was delighted to been given a new saddle by Jarrod. The family sat around the corral watching Audra ride her new horse. Tom held his arm around Victoria. Nick and Jarrod delighted in the simple pleasure of having a sister. Eugene wasn't there but was due in any minute. He had went to town with Silas so he could visit Cora Lynn. The day started out very high in spirits until Eugene returned with Silas.

The house servant came to the corral muttering under his breath before addressing Tom. "Mr. Barkley, your boy has been fightin'."

Victoria snapped her head around. She stared at Nick.

"Don't look at me. I've been all day with Audra." Nick held up his hands innocently.

"Eugene?" Tom questioned unsure if he was hearing Silas correctly.

"Yes. Mr. Barkley." Silas was wringing his hands nervously. "I was keepin' a right close eye on him. I guessin' the boy had the tussle while I gave my list to the supply manager."

"McCall!" Tom bellowed very similar to Nick's tone. "Watch Audra. Let her ride for a half hour longer. No more."

McCall headed to the corral nodding his agreement while the patriarch, matriarch, and sons of the Barkley ranch headed inside to see what exactly happened. Eugene wasn't one to fight.

Victoria was soon dabbing a cold rag on Eugene's busted lip. She kept silent knowing Tom liked to handle the boys when he was home to do so. Nick and Jarrod stood back admiring their brother's first black eye.

"What happened, son?" Tom sternly stared at Eugene. Victoria almost laughed. She knew Tom was more proud his boy had held his own in a fight than he was that Eugene had a fight.

The thirteen year old boy yelped slightly when his mother dabbed his bruised cheek with liniment. Another surge of pride went through brothers and father at the boy not screaming at the pain. They knew how Mother's liniment stung.

"Well, father, I was protecting myself." Eugene answered as his mother put up her medical supplies. "I'd rather not talk about this in the presence of a lady."

Tom kept himself from chuckling at his young boy. Victoria winked as she excused herself. Tom nodded towards the study. "Boys, let's head to the study."

Once seated in the study, Eugene was asked again what happened.

"As I said, father, I was only protecting myself." Eugene suddenly found the pattern of the carpet of interest. "It all started with Cora Lynn."

"Cora Lynn?" Nick asked curiously.

Jarrod winked at Nick. "Eugene's betrothed."

"Oh." Nick held back his chuckle. "I see."

"Not anymore. She decided Emmit McKeeney is cuter and more mature. He's really just huge." Eugene stated in a quick voice.

Tom stood back with arched eyebrows. He stated with a calmness. "I take it is Emmit who you fought with."

"Yes, sir." Eugene stated lowly.

"Now, little brother, a girl ain't worth fightin' over if she wanted someone else." Nick had been there too many times. "Trust me. I know from experience."

"He does, brother Eugene." Jarrod agreed as he watched Eugene's face light up with anger.

"I didn't fight over Cora Lynn. If she wants him, she can have him." Eugene angrily stated. "Emmit thought he could bully me and make fun of me because of it. He's fifteen and a head taller than me. He was saying I wasn't man enough to keep a girl. He shoved me. No one shoves a Barkley. So I lit into him." Eugene looked down ashamed. "I'm sorry, father. He still bested me."

"Nonsense." Tom squeezed his son's shoulder. "You stood up for yourself. No one can best you if you stand up for yourself. If you only fight fights worth fighting, you're the better man."

"Thanks, father." Eugene looked up to see his two brothers and father looking proudly at him. "However, next time I will learn to duck. I do believe Mother's liniment hurts worse than the bruising."

They all shared a laugh before Tom added. "Go get cleaned up, Eugene. Then lay and rest before dinner."

Eugene nodded as he left out of the study. A proud smile displayed on his face. Tom settled down for a drink as Nick and Jarrod did the same.

Tom stated in a low voice. "Eugene is growing up on me. He's already thirteen. He's turning into a man."

"At least he's not already a man at age thirteen." Nick swigged back his whiskey.

"Care to share your story, Brother Nick?" Jarrod had his own young man in mind at Nick's statement.

"I met this boy. He was Eugene's age." Nick poured another drink before marching over to the fireplace. He leaned on the mantle as he watched the fire dancing."Here this boy was just thirteen and one of the best sharp shooters I ever saw. He's the one I was protectin' when I was shot. The boy shot the one who shot me. Here this blonde little squirt was throwing a knife to kill like it was his every day life. He took that knife and wiped it on his pant leg like blood was nothing. Then he shot a man right in the forehead while he was standing over him." Nick had a habit of rambling when in deep thought.

"Murder?" Jarrod spoke up shocked.

"Hold up, Jarrod. Let your brother tell his story." Tom sighed out. He saw Nick needed to talk just as Jarrod had about his own meeting of a young boy in war. "Go on, Nick."

"It wasn't like that, Jarrod. I had shot the man. It was a gut shot. The way I understand it, Button don't do gut shots. He shoots right in the forehead. It is like his mark. He says aim sure and don't let them suffer." Nick closed his eyes thinking of the blonde boy. "I thought he didn't have any humanity left in him. I learned the kid just knows how to shut himself down when he kills. Its like he's not there until later. It is how the boy copes. They all called him Button because of how good he shoots. It was a saying the men had. Any way, his real name is Heath. I'll never forget that boy."

Jarrod's head jerked up at the name. "Don't tell me his name was Heath James?"

"Yes! That was his name!" Nick exclaimed. "You heard of him?"

"I met him. I signed him, Nick." Jarrod's hands began to shake.

Tom noticed the tenseness between his brothers. "He had no choice, Nick. According to Jarrod, that boy was a cussed little fellow. He would've signed no matter what."

"How do you know he was Eugene's age?" Jarrod blinked back the wetness in his eyes. "He told me he was eighteen. I knew better but he stuck with it."

"I believe that." Nick stated as he plopped defeated in the chair. "Heath told me he would be eighteen for five more years."

Tom looked curiously at his two sons, who met the same boy. The boy had made a deep impression on his sons.

"I told Heath he could come to the ranch when he got out. You should have seen the boy when I mentioned the ranch and horses." Nick smiled fondly at the memory. "He loves horses. I think the boy wants more than anything in his life to be a rancher. We spent the whole week while I was waiting to get my papers to go home. That kid has had a rough life. I got a few things out of him. He's not much of a talker but when he does talk, I learned some things. Do you know he worked as a charge boy at six years old? He was raised by an ex slave. He calls her his Mama Hannah." Nick blinked as he thought of the boy's life. "He got his first black eye before he was old enough to know what he was fighting over. I bet when Eugene was getting his first kisses, Heath was ..." Nick paused feeling uncomfortable putting Eugene in Heath's place. "Prostitutes come to soldier camps."

All the men understood. Tom grimaced at seeing his oldest son have a tear roll down his cheek. "Jarrod, are you okay?"

"I keep track of Heath James as I did with Nick." Jarrod took a drink of his brandy.

"He went with Colonel Caudill down to New Mexico. Fighting is over there." Nick sighed in relief.

"Nick, there are still some confederate hold outs." Jarrod wiped his cheek not caring they saw him crying. "Caudill's company was captured by the Confederate Army. Those men not killed were taken to a prison camp." Jarrod swallowed as he looked at the frightened eyes of his brother. "Heath was on the list of men taken to Carterson Prison."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alroy, where is Button?" Colonel Caudill huddled up under the makeshift tent. He had been flogged by one of the guards to try to break his men's spirits.

"That guard has taken a liking to the lad." Alroy scowled. "Button is a pretty boy. That blonde hair and soft skin ain't good for the boy in this place."

"I noticed him giving Heath extra potatoes." Colonel Caudill rubbed his weary face. "That boy is in danger and he don't even know it."

"Indeed. The lad is." Alroy wrapped his arms around his knees to get warmer. His teeth chattered due to the cold."Here he comes now."

Heath scurried to climb under the tent with his two protectors. The tent was not big enough for one body no less three. However, the men gathered on both sides of the boy to keep him warm.

"I got another potato. Here. We can split it." Heath held out the half rotten potato.

"You keep it, lad." Alroy rustled Heath's dirty locks of hair. "You be needing it."

"Alroy's right, Button." Caudill didn't know how to make the boy understand the guard was the worst kind of evil. "Be careful, Button. That guard isn't being nice just to be nice."

"I know, Colonel. I may have been born on the wrong side of the blanket. But I ain't been born yesterday. I know that depraved look." Heath pulled out a rock hidden in his boot. "I won't let that happen to me. Bad enough when a woman takes to that..." Heath stopped not wanting to reveal too much of his past. However, Alroy and Caudill got the message. The war wasn't the only time this boy had suffered. "I'll protect myself."

Caudill and Alroy saw the dangerous look in the boy's eyes. The noted the sharpened stone. Heath had sharpened the stone with another rock. It was as pointed as a knife. Three days and two hours later, Heath proved his words.

With the quickness of a mountain lion, Heath was standing over the dead guard. The stone was impaled between the guard's eyes. Blood was splattered all over the young boy. Heath's breath was coming out in rapid quick repetitions. Caudill and Alroy had saw it all. They always tried to keep their eyes on Heath. They both longed to protect him. However, both were too far away to help Heath.

The guard had pulled Heath to the side of the building where rations were handed out. He attempted to take off Heath's clothes. That was all it took for the young boy to fight with all his might. Heath protected himself just as he said. Soon the boy was swarmed with guards.

The guards pulled the boy towards the warden of the camp. "He killed one of our guards."

"What do you have to say for yourself, boy?" Matt Bentell stood over the boy. He stared down with disgust at the lice infested man child.

"I was protectin' myself." Heath held his head high. "Your guard was tryin' to touch me. I don't let that happen. I'd rather die."

"The boy didn't kill him." Colonel Caudill yelled from the crowd of Union soldiers held as prisoners. "I did."

"No. I killed the guard!" Yelled Alroy. "The boy is innocent!"

A few other unknown soldiers stepped up. "I killed the guard."

Soon a chorus of soldiers followed suit claiming their guilt of killing the guard. Matt Bentell knew if he flogged the boy or put him to death, the young blonde soldier would become a martyr.

"Let him go." Bentell begrudgingly informed the other guards. "I guess the boy was protecting himself. If any man tries to do what the guard did, the guard will be put to death. Do I make myself clear?"

Hannah James was on her knees praying for her lost boy. Somewhere she could feel her golden boy was in trouble. "Dear Lord, protect my boy. He's a good boy. Protect him from all evil. Bring him home to his mama."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Twelve: Guardian Angel**

 _Matthew 18:10 (KJV)_

 _Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven._

"Father, who is the man in white?" Eugene's fevered head beaded with sweat. "He seems nice, father."

Victoria placed her hand on her young son's head. She peered at Tom wanting nothing more than a reassurance, which he was unable to give.

"Do you want me to get more water, Mizz Barkley?" Silas asked as he held the soiled sheets in his hands.

"No. We have plenty." Victoria Barkley stared up at the house servant. "Thank you so much for all your help."

"Miss Audra is cryin'. I sent Mr. Nick to her." Silas breathed out as he noticed Mrs. Barkley's sad face. He stared at Mr. Barkley's solemn face. "Best thing for the boy is prayin'. Never doubt a miracle, Mizz Barkley. Never doubt a miracle."

With those words, Silas left to wash the dirty linens that Eugene had soiled during his sickness. Tom squeezed his wife's hand. "Get some sleep, Vic. I'll sit with him."

"No." Victoria took in a breath. "I can't leave him. Dr. Merar said there is nothing left for him to do. Just keep down his fever. Make him cough up the phlegm. Nick can watch over Audra."

"I'm going to check with McCall about running the ranch for me for a few days. I'll put Nick in charge." Tom slid his hands through his graying hair. "I'll be back to sit with you and our boy, lovely lady."

Eugene was always a weak child due to his premature birth. However, God had blessed them with health due to his not wanting to be out much. Somehow, the young thirteen year old had developed a bad cold which turned into pneumonia. Both parents knew their child was on the brink of death's door. Victoria had kept a vigil at Eugene's side for over ten days. He didn't seem to be getting better. He was weakening as each day passed. Victoria wasn't much better due to her constant presence at her son's side. Nick had been keeping Audra constantly entertained when he wasn't on the ranch working along side his father. Tom made time with his son but not as Victoria had been. Therefore, Tom decided he needed time with his youngest son. Nick was nineteen years old now. He would do as a man did when needed. Jarrod had made it in the night prior. He would take over for Nick keeping young Audra from worry. They were working as a family should. Together.

While sitting on each side of Eugene's bed, both parents gripped their son's hands in theirs. They would fall to sleep with heavy hearts of their child's sickness haunting them. It wasn't until two a.m. in the morning did the whole house waken with the eerie cry from a mother. Eugene had stopped breathing moments before.

"Vic!" Tom grabbed as his wife. She pushed him away as she clung to her child as only a mother could.

"DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN! PLEASE!" Victoria sobbed as she looked up towards heaven as her tears cascaded over her pale cheeks.

Nick and Jarrod had made into the bedroom to see what was happening. Audra scurried into the room as well. Jarrod swept the eleven year old up in his arms. He hid his sister's face against his chest. They all stood in stunned silence as they watched their mother beg for her youngest son's life. Then with an haunting cry that escaped their father's throat. Tom fell to his knees. He clasped his hands in the surrender of prayer.

"Forgive me, heavenly Father, for my sins. Don't punish my son Eugene for my neglect of another son. Don't take him. Don't take my boy! Please! I beg you." Tom collapsed on the floor in a sobbing weak form.

It was that moment the family believed in miracles. At that very moment, Eugene took a deep breath as his eyes fluttered open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heath James hated the confined space around him in the tunnel. It reminded him too much of the mines in Strawberry. But he'd do as Colonel Caudill and Alroy asked of him. He was small enough to dig while the others would be caught. Heath wasn't ignorant of the situation. Caudill was dying. The man was flogged continuously by the guards. It was Bentell who ordered the flogging for no reason what so every except the fact Caudill had respect from his men. Bentell wanted those men broke. However, the continuous mistreatment of Caudill only had his men and others more dedicated to their colonel.

After Heath was finished digging for the day. He picked up his maggoty corn mush. Alroy glanced at the boy as he ate the meal without flinching.

"What?" Heath asked as he stuffed his mouth full.

"I don't know how you eat that stuff." Alroy admitted as he picked out the squirming maggots from his own mush.

"Pretend it is magic rice." Heath shrugged. "Magic rice can move is all."

Caudill laughed lightly as he looked at Alroy grimace. He wondered if Heath's eating of the maggots was what was keeping the boy alive compared to the others dying all around. Caudill knew he was not going to make it much longer. His whip lashes were beyond knew the boy needed to escape this wretched Hell around them. So far, Caudill and Alroy had kept the boy from being flogged. However, he had noticed Bentell eyeing the younger boy with contempt. A lot of the Union prisoners had taken to Heath due his youth. Heath no longer hid his age. There was no use in it. Caudill had told him to tell his real age in hopes the boy would get freed. That didn't work. Instead, guards and Bentell found the boy more of a leverage to keep the Yankee prisoners in line.

One day, Caudill glanced across camp. He poked Alroy in his ribs to get his attention. "What's Button doing?"

Alroy focused after pushing his long lice encompassed hair from his eyes. "The lad seems to be talking to hisself."

Heath glanced up to the stranger before him. "I don't remember seeing ya here before."

The large black man sat down beside the boy. "Lots of folks here. I doubt ya met us all, boy."

"Name's Heath or Button. Name don't matter much." Heath said as he moved to allow the large man room. He noticed the man wasn't skeletal. He was strong with broad shoulders and muscles.

"My name is John James." The large black man settled next to Heath. "Do ya believe in God, boy?"

Heath frowned wondering why the man asked him that. He stared at the large black prisoner. "Sure. My Mama Hannah taught me about God."

"What do you think of God, Heath?" John James moved closer to keep the cold air from enveloping Heath.

"Well, I believe in God. But I guess He hates me." Heath said it hoping his Mama Hannah never heard those words.

"I don't see how you think that, boy." John James stared at the boy seriously. "He protectin' you daily cause of ya Mama's prayin'. He sures is." John James saw Heath glance over to Alroy and Caudill huddled in the tent. Heath smiled lopsidedly. "Yep. Them there men are a blessing." John James blinked as he stared at the boy. John James knew Heath wouldn't have their protection long. "Best be prayin', Heath. Best be prayin'."

The next day was the day planned for the escape. Caudill glanced at Heath as he squeezed the boy's hand. "I can't make it, Heath."

"Colonel." Heath's eyes filled with tears. He wiped his arm over his wet cheeks. "I can't do this without you."

Caudill raked his hand through Heath's hair. Despite the grime and the bugs that clung to the boy's long blonde locks, Caudill wanted to touch the child like he was a child. "If I could have a son, I'd want a boy like you. You gave me something I never had before, Button. You gave me a reason to want more than this war. You gave me family. Go on with Alroy. I don't want you staying here."

"I can't. I want to be with you, Colonel." Heath leaned down to place his head on Caudill's chest. "I never had no Pa nor one to want to be. Let me stay here."

"Alroy needs you too, Heath." Caudill felt his fever burning him from inside out. "I love you, boy. I love ya."

With those words, Colonel Caudill died while Heath's hand gripped his. Alroy touched Heath's shoulder. "We need to go now, Button. Nothin' left to do for him but escape this place."

Heath nodded as he sniffed back tears. He stood to walk away. The men crept through the cave as Heath allowed tears to splash on the dry dirt of the tunnel. He was near the end of the line of men. Behind him, John James grabbed Heath's ankle.

"Stop, Heath. Listen, boy." John James whispered to Heath.

Heath's eyes widened as he felt John James pulling him backwards. "Let go! Let go! I hafta get to Alroy."

"Too late, boy. Too late." John James kept pulling the young boy back. "Iz got to get you outta here."

Shots filled the air coupled with the screams of dying men. Heath huddled at the end of the tunnel in balled position. Tears stung his cheeks as the wind ripped through him. Suddenly, he felt his arms being jerked harshly.

"There is no one to protect you now, boy." Bentell gripped the boy's arms. He squeezed Heath's arms until his skin broke. It didn't take much as his body was skeletal and his skin was thin. Bentell turned to the guard. "String up the boy! He was in on the escape plan!"

Heath felt the ropes cutting into his wrists as his body was strung up. His toes barely touched the ground. He glanced around seeing three other men strung up beside him. He didn't see John James. _How could've John James escaped? He was behind Heath._

Heath felt wetness start to trickle down his arms. Heath didn't have to look up to know it was blood. His toes had barely touched the ground. Therefore, he had weakened until he hung by his wrists only. The hot sun beat on all three men and one thirteen year old boy. He saw one man's head lull over. Heath felt that man was the lucky one. The man had died before the lash of the whip hit him.

Sometime in the heat of the day, Heath had fell asleep. He woke to fill the first sting of the whip on his back. He didn't know pain could be so bad. Heath wondered if he had any skin left as the whip pierced his skin and gripped at his bones. Heath closed his eyes knowing he'd die soon. He welcomed death. Heath screamed in pain. He looked up to see a smirk on Matt Bentell's face. It reminded him of the his aunt Martha's smile when she thought she had won. Maybe this time, Heath was beat. Heath drew in an agonizing breath when his thoughts went to his Mama Hannah's words.

 _"He never made a sound. He never let the master see his pain. He looked at me with pride in his eyes. The same pride I saw in John's eyes when he was beat. I knew right then and there what I had to do. I had to keep on fighting. I had to fight until I was free from that place. Because James and John had put their lives ahead of mine. I knew it. They both balanced each other out because they had to. I chose the name James because John would've insisted on it. But neither of my brothers made me prouder to be their sister. You have to keep on fightin', Heath. You have to know when to be like James and when to be like John. You have to so this world won't take another man I love. You'z my boy, Heath. You is my world. I love you with everything in me, boy."_

Heath took in a painful breath as the whip tore at his weakened body. The whip lashed around his small body to wrap to his side. Suddenly, Heath felt arms envelop him. He tried to turn to look behind him. "John James?"

"God does love you, boy. He's protectin' ya because of your Mama's prayers." John James whispered.

Heath didn't know why Bentell was letting John James wrap around him. But he thanked God for it.

From a distance, Bentell scowled at the young boy's defiantly taking the flogging without out screaming in pain. He would kill the boy before he'd let him win. The boy was half crazy any way. Bentell had seen him talking to himself many times. Now, the boy was talking to himself again.

Bentell wouldn't have victory over Heath James. A mother's prayer was heard. Heath and the other prisoners would be released two days later. The Union had won.

In a small cabin on the outskirts of Strawberry, California ; Hannah James was on her knees. She begged with clasped hands for the child not hers. She begged for her son to survive. She begged for her boy, Heath James, to live.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen: A Brother's Wisdom

Eugene Barkley was feeling much better. He had eaten broth as well as some of Silas's biscuits. He loved being doted on by his father. He was used to his mother's attention but to have Tom Barkley spending so much time with him was a pleasure. Eugene was wise enough to take advantage of the time his father was spending with him.

Soon enough, Eugene realized his father would have to be back on the ranch putting in long hours. It was Nick who suggested Eugene allow his sickness be a time with their beloved father. Eugene listened to his brother's wisdom.

Nick had left for San Fransisco earlier that morning. He was to meet with Jarrod on some important business. That Eugene found even more welcome as now he was the only Barkley son on the ranch. His father was all his for a few more days until the ranch could no longer do without Tom Barkley.

Eugene Barkley watched joyfully as Tom Barkley read from one of Eugene's prized novels. The next few days would be wonderful due to listening to his older brother's wisdom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jarrod Thomas Barkley was a man of uncompromising convictions. He had wisdom beyond his twenty-five years of age. He had finished law school in record time and at the top of his class. He was every bit of the gentleman people thought he was. Yet, he knew how to use a side arm if need be. His words were his gold as were the intricate workings of his intelligent mind.

Jarrod Barkley was a sought after bachelor for the finest of ladies. However, he wasn't beyond visiting special places to get his own pleasure once in a while. His handsome good looks had women of many types of class seeking his affection. Jarrod Barkley was no fool. He was careful about his affections towards certain women. He knew where the women were clean as well as knew what lady not to persuade into things of the intimate nature.

Therefore, when Jarrod Barkley heard his father's reverent prayer, he caught on to the words of a neglected son. Jarrod knowing of temptation in life even as young as he was, knew deep down his father had strayed. Too many memories haunted his mind to not believe otherwise. All Jarrod needed to do was connect the dots somehow to come up with the whole picture.

That would have to wait as it had already. There was something much more important that needed attended.

"Jarrod!" Twenty year old Nick Barkley's voice echoed through the lawyer's San Francisco office. "You here!"

Jarrod chortled under his breath at his brother's boisterous ways. However, not one in the family would have it any other way. Nick was so much like his father in personality. Jarrod was the one to look more like Thomas Barkley in appearance. Yet, his personality was calm and collected much more like Victoria Barkley. Not to mention, both Nick and Jarrod had the hair coloring of his mother's family.

"Where else would I be, Brother Nick?" Jarrod's entrancing blue eyes danced at seeing his younger brother. Those eyes were also similar to their father's eyes with only a darker blue in color.

The file laying on Jarrod's desk immediately caught Nick's attention. "Is that it?"

Jarrod took a deep breath before fidgeting with the file. "Yes. The army sent me the information on Heath James."

"Did he die in Carterson?" Nick plopped down feeling a deep sadness overwhelm him.

"No." Jarrod said as Nick's head jerked up in surprise.

"Army hospital?" Nick leaned placing his elbows on his knees.

"Unfortunately, yes but no." Jarrod sighed. "Seems the fact of his age had the boy being discharged from the army."

"Some young punk officer trying to make a name for himself discharged the boy? NO DOUBT!" Nick stood up and began to pace. "Where is he? Do you know?"

"Well, the army was good enough to wait to put him out for his family to pick him up." Jarrod breathed out. "Problem is that the boy went into fits when they said he couldn't go with who he calls mama. She is a black woman, Nick. They don't want him but don't want her having him. They are insisting to know who he really belongs to."

"Is he still there then..or what?" Nick pounded his fist in the palm of his hand.

"No and yes. I meant that when I said that. But it seems one of Colonel Caudill's brothers has let him stay at the hospital until someone comes to claim the boy. They aren't letting Heath James stay in the main confines of the hospital." Jarrod stood up to pour himself a strong drink. He offered a drink to Nick, who refused. "They are letting the one he calls mama to take care of him so the doctors and nurses aren't bothered. Colonel Caudill's brother is the one who wrote. Seems the boy meant a lot to Emery Caudill. He died in Carterson. But before they were captured Colonel Caudill wrote to his family about adopting Heath James after the war."

"Wow." Nick stopped pacing. "Seems little Button has a lot of us drawn to him." A grin splayed over Nick's face. "So when are we going to claim him?"

"I already bought the tickets." Jarrod smacked Nick's back. "You wire father and mother. Tell them we will wire them from Texas."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jarrod and Nick anxiously looked around as they walked through the large tent set up to hospitalize hundreds of war survivors. Captain Edwin Caudill was an army physician. He stood when he saw the Barkley's approaching.

"Nice to meet you." He stuck out his hand to shake the two Barkley brothers hand. "Heath James is set up in a tent by himself. One of our young doctors meant well when he wrote to wrong General explaining the age of the boy. He thought the boy deserved a metal or something but all it got Heath was discharged. The general thought it better not to embarrass the Union any more due to this war. Same reason Bentell isn't going to hang for his war crimes like..." Dr. Edwin wiped his hand over his wary face. "This isn't helping the boy. He's in a bad way. Family must claim him or he has to go to an orphanage or worse."

"What about his mama?" Jarrod asked as they followed the man towards the outside of the hospital. "The woman raised him. Let her have him."

"She's a black woman trying to claim a white son. No matter how much it makes sense to give that boy to her, it won't be heard of." Edwin stopped to take a deep breath. "Now if you two are family, then I can't dispute it nor can the army."

"Yeah. Yeah. We are." Nick said knowing Jarrod would follow his lead. "Long lost cousins or something."

"Brothers would be better." Edwin looked at them hopeful. "Heath James has an uncle trying to claim him. The black woman throws all kinds of fits not letting the man near him. Heath seems mighty afraid of the man. But he is next of kin unless he has brothers to claim him. No one has no proof of relation. The man claims are just. He has papers. I haven't seen them yet. Which is lucky for the boy if you are wanting to claim him. "

"Well, he's a Barkley." Nick spoke again not caring if Jarrod agreed or not. "My baby brother. That's what Heath James is." Nick placed his hands on his thin waist. "Good enough for you, Doc?"

"Good enough for me." Captain Edwin Caudill let out a long sigh of relief. "Let's go get your brother. Like I said before. The boy is in bad shape. He may not make it. But we've done all we could do here. Take him home to protect him from that man. "

The men walked with Captain Edwin Caudill to fill out the necessary forms before Matt Simmons got back from his hotel with the necessary papers.

"I can't, Mama." Heath stated. "Uncle Matt will kill me. You know what he believes I did."

"I won't let him take my boy." Hannah grabbed Heath into an embrace. "I won't. Jessup is a bad way Heath. Miss Rachel is nursing him. He gave me all he had to get me to ya."

"Then what, Mama?" Heath's voice cracked. "Iffin I go back to Strawberry, Uncle Matt owns me. Ya know that."

"I knowz." Hannah closed her eyes. "I do. But look at ya, Heath. Ya can't hardly sit up no less ride a horse. That back of yours is in a bad way too. I've nursed slaves beaten before."

"Ya got me a fine horse from John Eagle, Mama. She's a beauty." Heath swallowed as he stared in his mama's eyes. "I can take her and get out of here."

"I don't think you're going anywhere without me, boy." Came a low growl from the door flap of the tent.


	15. Chapter 15

_"I don't think you're going anywhere without me, boy." Came a low growl from the door flap of the tent._

 ** _Chapter Fourteen: Haircut_**

Heath and Hannah looked up to see Nick Barkley standing with Jarrod Barkley. He smiled with elation at seeing recognition in the boy's eyes. But soon his face faded into a concerned stare. The boy was without hair. His whole body was skeletal. Sores were upon other sores on the boy's body. However, those blue eyes were all that was needed to tell who the boy was sitting on the cot.

"Button, you do remember me?" Nick asked as cautiously he shook out of his shock of seeing the once healthy boy look so sickly. The hair was the most shocking as the boy's head was shaved clean to his skin. It caused the boy to look strangely older. It only exaggerated his sunk in cheeks and dark circled eyes.

"Lieutenant Nick." Heath grasped Hannah's hand as he tried to stand.

"Now, you sit down there, boy. I'm plain Nick now. No Lieutenant." Nick walked up pushing on Heath's shoulder. "You look like you're gonna fall over."

"I gotta git, Nick." Heath said lowly as he looked at Jarrod. He remembered him vaguely from signing up. "Major?"

"I'm Nick's brother. Jarrod will do." Jarrod informed him as he saw Hannah wrap a protective arm around her son.

"I gotta git." Heath repeated. "My uncle will kill me iffin' I go back with him."

Doctor Caudill approached the boy cautiously. He recalled a few nights back an orderly checking up on Heath had the boy bearing a knife in a crouched position. The knife came from the orderly when Heath stole it with a quick draw. It was a knife used for cutting through the bandages when a pair of scissors wouldn't do.

"Heath, these men claim to be your brothers." Dr. Caudill grinned. "They came to take you home."

Heath noticed Nick's smile and Jarrod's wink. He looked at his Mama Hannah. "Whatta about my mama."

"Of course, your mama will come too. We need someone to nurse you." Jarrod assured him.

"Hurry up, boy." Nick stated quickly. "We got no papers proving our claims for you."

Heath felt tears well up in his eyes. However, he refused to cry. "I'll work real hard to pay ya back. I promise."

"We'll talk about that later, Heath." Jarrod helped the weak boy to stand. "Now, let's get you home."

Hannah had never road a train before. People didn't seem to like her boarding with the white passengers. However, Jarrod had bought her a ticket on the private car with them. It was an expenditure needed due to Heath needing to rest and be nursed.

The car was simple in décor but held two small beds adjacent each other. Two more seats sat in front of the beds. A small table was there to eat on if the need came. At first, Heath refused to lie down. He wanted to look strong in front of the men. However, soon Hannah insisted with an authority the Barkley brothers recognized as a mother. They had heard their own mother use the same tone. It caused a smile on both Nick's and Jarrod's face to see the small black woman order the stubborn boy to do as she said.

Heath was soon asleep due to the lull of the train. Hannah had hummed to him as she ran her finger over his shaven head. She looked at Nick then Jarrod.

"My boy is a good boy." Hannah smiled as she spoke. "I used to run my fingers through his golden locks when he was a babe to get him to sleep. I miss his hair but I guess it will grow back. Them bugs bout ate my boy up. I be usin' my special salve once I can get it mixed. That will stop his sores from itchin' "

"You take the bed, Ms. James." Jarrod motioned to the bed adjacent Heath's. "You'll be needing the rest to take care of him. Sleep while he sleeps."

"I reckon if ya don't mind so. I'll do that." Hannah made her way to the bed. "Call me, Hannah." She glanced at Heath. "He scratches until his skin bleeds in his sleep. Could you make sure he doesn't do that. He sometimes wakes up whimperin' too. The demons of that place haunt him. He don't scream none. Just whimpers so sadly. Will you wake me up to help him? I want to hold my boy when he does that."

"Of course." Jarrod said with certainty. "Anything else we need to know?"

Hannah drew in a deep breath. She was unsure Heath would like her mentioning the next part. "Iffin' he wets himself, please don't let him know ya saw. He is weak in bladder and can't help it. The doctor said it was caused from lack of water and whatever else that place put the boy through. He supposed Heath will grow out of it as his bladder strengthens but until then it embarrasses my boy a might lot. Heath still has a bit of pride left. Don't take it. Just wake me silent like and I'll help my boy."

Nick glanced at the weak boy sleeping. He fought an urge to scream out angrily at the travesty of the child being hurt in such a manner. Jarrod nodded his understanding at Hannah knowing the pride he saw in the boy when he was only twelve signing up to fight in a man's war.

~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sit still, Eugene." Victoria ordered. "I can't fix it if you don't sit still."

Tom stood back grinning as he watched his wife trying to help her angry and upset son. Audra hid a giggle behind her hand.

"It's not funny. I hate that horse of yours!" Eugene yelled causing Audra to jump slightly.

"Don't yell at your sister." Victoria stood back. "That's the best I can do with it. It doesn't look too bad."

"Naw. Looks fine. Cut a might close to his head but no choice in the matter." Tom stifled his own giggle.

"I can't believe Buttercup took a bite out of my hair!" Eugene jerked off the sheet covering his shoulders. "Now what will Elsa May think of me looking like this for the dance?"

"She will think you are handsome like you are." Victoria rubbed her son's shoulder.

"You think that because you're my mother." Eugene pouted.

"It ain't too bad, son." Tom patted his back. "You just can't slicker it back like your used to. Your mother did a fine job of hiding the gap. You can't even see it."

Eugene ran his hand over his newly cut hair. "I guess it isn't too bad considering. But I sure hate that horse."

Victoria held up a small handheld mirror for Eugene to see. "I think you look real nice."

"I look like a little boy." Eugene pouted. He glared at Audra. "I hate that horse!"

Audra burst out laughing when Eugene ran up the stairs. "It isn't my fault he was picking daisies for Elsa May. Buttercup loves daisies. She just missed her bite when Eugene tried to swat her away."

"Leave your brother alone, Audra." Tom kissed his little girl's cheek. "Eugene wanted to look nice for Elsa May. Your horse done made your mother lop off his hair. He is in love."

Audra rolled her eyes. "Again."

Both parents held their laughter until their daughter made it out the door.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N I am finding the future chapters are difficult to write a comparison between Heath and Eugene. For a while, their lives will intermingle. However, I had an idea for this one. NOT sure about future ones.**

 _Chapter Fifteen: Protecting Family_

Heath and Hannah sat quietly in the parlor while Victoria and Tom talked with their sons. Tom was pacing as was Nick. Both were on opposite ends of the decision to be made. Victoria hated being against her sons on this. But she had to think of her own family especially her young eleven year old daughter.

"The boy is accused of rape. You said it yourself." Victoria interrupted the pacing men.

"He'll be safe here." Jarrod informed his mother. He thought she was worried about the boy being prosecuted. "Stockton is out of the Strawberry jurisdiction. Heath will be safe on our ranch. I'll go to Strawberry later this week to make sure I can see about taking custody from his uncle."

Victoria sighed realizing her oldest son was thinking she was worried for the boy. She did have empathy for the child, who she had not yet seen, but Victoria Barkley, as well as Tom Barkley, would protect their own family first. Tom knew his wife as she knew him. That was one reason he had told her of his affair with Leah over thirteen years ago. She would figure it out if he hadn't told her. Knowing what he knew of his wife, he placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Jarrod, your mother and I are worried about this boy being around the family. He could be dangerous." Tom squeezed his wife's shoulders agreeing with her thoughts.

"WAIT A MINUTE HERE! BUTTON WOULDN'T HURT ANY OF US!" Nick bellowed as he stopped his pacing. He realized his parents weren't allowing the boy to stay.

"Oh, really?" Tom sternly faced his second born. "You told me he was a sharpshooter. The boy killed for a living in the war."

"That's not fair, father." Jarrod stood up to be beside of Nick. "We all do things in war that aren't our usual actions. There is no shame in war of those actions. This boy has nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'll not have him in my home." Victoria sat with her shoulders back and her back straight. "He was accused of rape. We don't know the truth. I will not take a chance with my daughter. That is all there is to it."

Nick pounded his fist in the palm of his hand. "How in the $%^* are we supposed to tell that boy he isnt welcome here?"

"Nicholas, watch your language in front of your mother." Tom warned as he went to pour himself a drink. "I'm siding with your mother on this. I'm sorry, boys."

"Wait." Jarrod rubbed his chin. "What about if we fix up the old house behind the corral for him and his mama Hannah? Then Heath can heal until I can find out more about his uncle's accusations."

"Please." Nick stared at both of his parents. Neither parent had ever seen the boy beg.

"This boy means that much to you, Nick?" Victoria felt weakened by her son's pleading eyes.

"Yes. He does to both of us." Nick watched as Jarrod nodded in agreement. "I can't explain it, Mother. This boy is special for some reason."

"Fine. He and his mother may stay in the house behind the corral. It will need some fixing up. It has been years since the house was used." Victoria stood up. "I'll make sure Audra knows she isn't supposed to go any where near the house."

"Mother, there is one more thing. They are both full of pride. His mother asked to wash our laundry for room and board. Heath will want to muck out the stables once he is better. We spoke of it on the ride here." Jarrod smiled as he looked at his mother. "I'm sure Silas doesn't want her doing the laundry for the main house but I know the men would chip in to get their washing done."

"Fine." Victoria stood up. "I aim to meet these people."

Tom linked his wife's arm in the crook of his elbow. "I do as well."

Tom Barkley had never met Hannah when in Strawberry. The only one he had met was Leah. He kept their affair tightly under wraps. The only ones that knew would be the people Leah confided in. He didn't know of any one that could be unless it was her brother and her brother's wife. Therefore, when Hannah and Tom met in front of the Barkley house, it would be their first meeting.

Victoria felt sick to her stomach when she saw the boy sitting beside the one he called mama. She wasn't prepared for a child to look more dead than alive. His body was so thin he looked like bones with skin drawn tightly over them. This child's hair was shaven all the way to his scalp. New hair growth had not yet broke through his scalp as the hospital preferred the close shave so a new infestation of lice would be kept at bay. Sores seemed to be peppered all over the boy.

Heath could see the horror in the woman's face. He looked down feeling shame envelop him. He tried so hard not to scratch his itching skin. _What would this regal looking woman think of him scratching his blistered sore skin?_

Tom felt his breath hitch in his throat at the sight of the boy. He was no older than his youngest son, Eugene. Yet, he sat there looking more than half dead. Tom had a sudden yearning to envelope this boy in his arms. He immediately understood the need to protect the young boy. The same need his own sons had felt for the same boy. Due to Heath's unhealthy looks, there was no recognition for Tom of family. It was only a feeling that felt like his heart was being put in a vice grip.

Victoria noticed the shame flash through the boy. Her own shame hit her due to how she had acted when seeing the boy. His appearance had shocked her. She had not meant to make the boy feel ashamed. She merely was taken aback by seeing a boy so young in such desperate shape. She felt an urge to nurse him back to health. However, she did need to think of her own children. Although, this boy looked no older than her son and only a few years older than her daughter, he was still accused of a serious crime. Upon seeing him, she would make sure the woman called Mama would have any thing necessary to help the boy. The small house behind the corral would be a home for this boy and the special woman, who took him to raise.

"We have a house that you're welcome to live in." Tom took charge. Suddenly, he wanted more than anything for the boy to remain on Barkley land. The threat of the boy had left his thoughts. Heath was the one Tom felt he needed to protect now.

"I sure do appreciate it, Mister Barkley." Hannah wrapped her arms around Heath. She made sure not to press to hard on his back due to the stripes from his floggings at Carterson. "My boy is a hard worker too. He be a good boy. Heath is strong, He'll heal fast."

Heath looked up to stare at Victoria Barkley. "Ma'am, we won't be no trouble to ya. We'll mind our place. I appreciate ya givin' us this chance for me to get well. It won't take as long ya think for me to heal up. I'll work hard to pay ya back for lettin' us stay here while I mend."

Victoria felt her heart leap at the soft sincere blue eyes staring at her. She was overwhelmed with emotion at this boy promising to work off his debt. She would protect her family as she thought earlier. However, suddenly, this young boy didn't seem so threatening now.

Tom, Jarrod, Nick and Victoria lead Heath and Hannah into the small house. Heath was determined to walk on his own despite his obvious pain. Tom and Victoria was going to apologize for the state of the small house. Their words were cut short when Heath and Hannah walked in behind them.

"Boy howdy, Mama. Look at this place. We ain't never lived finer." Heath turned around in a circle checking out the small house.

"Oh, Heath. Look at it. Ain't never felt like a queen in a castle before." Hannah giggled with excitement. "We got us a home for awhile."

Heath felt weak due to his not being well. Nick noticed when Heath's body started to sway. "Easy there, boy. There is a bed in both rooms."

"We get our own room?" Heath looked at Hannah. "Mama, a room each. Wouldn't Miss Rachel and Jessup think we're living high on the hog now iffin' they saw us?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the family left Heath and Hannah to be settled in, Victoria asked Silas to gather some various items for the small house. She was astonished how little pleased the black woman and young boy. She had heard Heath tell Hannah that he never had his own bed be finer. She heard him tell Hannah it would sure beat sleeping on the old crates by the kitchen stove.

Victoria's thoughts were interrupted by her two younger children arguing with one another as they walked down the stairs. She looked over at her husband and sons, who seemed to be listening to Eugene and Audra intently.

"It is my room too, Eugene. I want my dolls to decorate the shelves." Audra crossed her arms defiantly over her thin frame. "It isn't just yours."

"Audra, your dolls are taking up all the room in the play room. We are too old for a play room anyway. I think you'd want a place for our many books. A reading room of our own." Eugene glanced at his mother. "Wouldn't that be a wonderful use of the room, Mother?"

"I don't want to put up my dolls. I know I don't play with them much but they mean a lot to me." Audra spoke softly. "Tell him, father. It isn't right taking my dolls from the room."

Nick's eyebrows fused together. "ARE YOU TWO ARGUIN' OVER THE PLAYROOM. THE EXTRA ROOM."

"It is true we have plenty of rooms in the house." Eugene thought that was what Nick was getting at. "I suppose we could change a guest room into our very own reading room."

Jarrod closed his eyes as he thought of the irony his younger siblings arguing over an extra room for themselves while Heath was excited to have his first bedroom of his own.

Tom was the one that spoke up. "I've heard enough. You both will clear out all the toys from the room that you don't play with or use. You will pick three special toys or books and I MEAN ONLY THREE. The rest will be boxed up. Then when the time is right, you will go to take those toys and books to the orphanage. YOU will not have Silas do this for you. You will work to clean the room yourself. Then the room will be a room for Dr. Merar to stay when he has to come over night. That way he will have some supplies here that are needed. It is no longer a playroom. You have a reading room in this house. It is called a library." Tom was very clear on his thoughts. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, father." Audra bit her lip not used to having her father disappointed in his princess.

Eugene looked down feeling ashamed for hearing the disappointment in his father's voice. "Yes, Sir."

Victoria looked at her husband. "I think Heath may like some of the books while he recuperates." She knew the boy could read. She heard him tell Hannah that he wished he had one of Miss Rachel's books to read while he had to lay in bed.

"I agree." Tom rubbed his chin. "Once the boy gets better, I think I should take all three of the children to deliver the toys and books to the orphanage. What do you think, Nick? Jarrod?"

"I think Heath would like that very much." Jarrod grinned at Nick. Both knew their parents were also touched by this boy.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Beth isn't the same Beth from the series BV.  
**

 **Chapter Sixteen: Meeting Girls**

Jarrod Barkley settled down for a quiet trip to San Francisco. He had decided to bypass going to Strawberry until he had more knowledge of family law. He was used to defending or prosecuting criminals or solving a legal issue for his family's business. However, the young twenty-four year old man wasn't up to date on custodial matters of a minor. Therefore, he had headed to San Fransisco to look through the law books in his office before confronting Matt Simmons about Heath James.

The trip turned into something different entirely once he was headed out. Jarrod was relaxing trying to catch a few moments of sleep before heading to San Francisco when he was interrupted by the sweetest sounding voice.

"May I sit here?" Came the soft lilting voice from beside him.

Jarrod sat up abruptly as he stated. "Of course."

Jarrod Barkley was rarely taken aback by such things as a gorgeous woman. He had many beautiful lady vying for his attention. However, this particular woman was more pleasing to look at than he had ever seen. The lady had dark emerald eyes that twinkled as she spoke. Her long brown hair was pinned up in front but the back lay in long curls. Her figure was petite yet curvaceous. It was obvious by her attire, she was no stranger to wealth.

"I won't bother you with formal names." The lady said with a softness that caused Jarrod's breath to hitch in his lungs. "How about we just use our names of which we answer? I prefer not to speak of my last name as it is well known. I'd rather get to know someone first before being judged for my name. I think it would be entertaining to pass the time by telling as much about ourselves without revealing who we are."

Jarrod loved the idea as the name Barkley was well known as well. He nodded his head in agreement. He thought it would be fun to play her name game. "In that case, my name is Jarrod."

The woman stuck out her hand. "I am Beth."

Jarrod kissed her soft hand before reluctantly releasing it. Both felt a jolt of electricity at the contact.

"I'm a lawyer." He offered as part of the game.

"I'm a widow." The woman saw the astonishment on Jarrod's face. "For three years now. To be frankly honest, I haven't worked since I was twenty years old. I've been a spoiled woman."

"You aren't much older than that now." Jarrod chuckled thinking the woman must be no older than twenty-five.

"Oh. That is where the not working pays off. I've had servants since I wed my husband. He was older than I am." Beth blushed as she folded her hands over her lap. "Perhaps, a lady prefer not to tell her age."

"I see." Jarrod grinned as he enjoyed the teasing from the lovely lady. "May I ask where you're from? I'm from California."

"Virginia." The woman answered as she noticed Jarrod's handsome features. "I have no children although I did have three step children."

"Did?" Jarrod raised his eyebrow.

"They are all grown. Well, the last is in college but she is practically grown." Beth could see Jarrod trying to figure that out. "I married a man older than myself. As I said, I was pampered." Beth giggled slightly. "I suppose I still am as my husband left me without a need."

"You sound very pleased with your marriage." Jarrod liked the way the lady's voice grew with fondness when she spoke of her husband.

"I am or was." Beth rubbed down her silky dress. "He was a wonderful husband and father. Now, tell me about your work, Jarrod."

Soon Jarrod and Beth were having a very easy conversation of things as the train chugged along to San Fransisco. The more time they spent together, the more they wanted to stay with each other. It wasn't long until Jarrod had asked Beth if he could see her while he spent time in San Francisco. She was more than delighted to be spending time with the charming gentleman.

The two were barely apart only to leave each other at night to say their goodbyes. Then the next day would be spent in each others company from eating breakfast to eating dinner. The enjoyed the atmosphere of San Francisco as long at they were together. Jarrod sent a telegraph to his family explaining he was held up in San Francisco. For two weeks, the couple began to fall head over heels in love. It was on the last night together that Jarrod requested Beth's hand in marriage. She excitedly accepted. She was in love with the charming lawyer.

Beth took in a ragged breath. "Jarrod, before you commit yourself to me. You must know I am unable to bare children. I am older than you by ten years. I guess I should've been honest before I excitedly accepted your hand in marriage. I know I look younger in age due to my late husband's spoiling of me. I admit I feel younger as well. I've never met a man that makes me feel overwhelmed with emotions as you have. I won't hold it against you if you take back your proposal.

"Children can be adopted if we choose that route. Or we can spend our lives with each other. Age doesn't matter to me, Beth. Perhaps, I should ask your last name." Jarrod teased as they made their way to dinner.

"My name is Elizabeth Endicott." Beth smiled as she took Jarrod's hand.

"Your husband was involved with the railroad?" Jarrod's eyebrows forged together.

"Yes. That is where a lot of our wealth came from." Beth explained. "Will that be a problem?"

"Not to me. However, it may be to you." Jarrod kissed Beth's hand. "My name is Jarrod Barkley. As in Stockton Barkley. My father is Thomas Barkley."

Beth jerked her hand away as tears stung her eyes. "Tom Barkley!"

"He is known to butt heads with the railroad. I'm sorry if that offends you. Beth, I love you but I understand if that will cause this engagement to be void."

"No. No, the railroad was my husband's business not mine." Beth placed her hand in Jarrod's again. "I love you so much, Jarrod. Nothing can keep me from marrying you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Audra and two of her friends excitedly made their way to the corral. "She is a beautiful mare. Father said he will keep her for breeding. Perhaps, I can have one her foals for my own."

"I can't wait to see her, Audra." Carol Sue pretended to be interested. She was more interested in being Audra's friend than worrying over a horse.

Stacy, who was also pleased to have Audra as a friend, agreed readily with Carol. The girls made it happily along to the corral. Audra frowned when she saw the strange thin boy sitting on the corral fence.

Heath turned to look at the girls approaching the corral. He was supposed to stay in the house in bed. However, the nightmares were too much to stay stuck behind walls. He figured it wouldn't hurt too much to sit and watch the horses for a while. He wished he had stayed inside now. His mama Hannah was doing laundry for the ranch hands around the back of the small house. Heath was sure whoever the girls were, he wasn't allowed to be around them.

"Who are you and what are you doing on our land?" Audra worriedly looked at the boy. He was very skinny and had no hair on his head.

"I live in the house over yonder." Heath pointed to the small cottage behind the corral. "Least til I get my strength up again."

Audra realized it was the house her mother told her to stay away from. Audra guessed it was so the young boy would not be bothered while he was so sick.

Carol and Stacy both grimaced at Heath. They acted as if he were trash to best not be near. Heath was used to the look they were giving him. He had saw it by many children and adults.

"You look scary. I'm sure the Barkleys don't want such as you around their horses." Carol stated as she looked at Audra. "Do you?"

Audra bit her lip as she thought. "You do look rather ...ummm different. Perhaps, you should leave. Mother told me not to go near the cottage. I guess that means you shouldn't come near our place such as the corral."

Stacy haughtily stated. "People like you shouldn't be around people as us."

To the girls, it was obvious the boy was very poor and not well dressed.

"Being a bastard don't rub off." Heath quipped as he watched the girls step back.

"Father would tan your hide for such language in front of ladies." Audra crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well, your Pa isn't my Pa." Heath stated as he jumped down from the fence. "I don't have no Pa. Guessin' that makes me safe from havin' my hide tanned. Besides, I don't see no ladies. I see three little girls is all."

"I'll be twelve in two months!" Audra exclaimed. "They will be twelve shortly after. We are not little girls."

"Where is your hair?" Carol spoke up as Heath began to leave. "You're awfully ugly mouthed and ugly looking without hair and being skin and bones."

Heath turned back around. "I'm not sure I should tell ya. It may scare ya too bad. Don't want to scare no little girls."

"I'm not afraid." Audra stepped up to him. "You can't scare me with no tale. We're not little girls."

"Well, seein' as ya'll are ladies and not little girls." Heath leaned back propping his elbows on the corral fence. "I spose it won't hurt to tell the truth of it."

All three eleven year old girls nodded as they waited for Heath's story.

Heath shook his head as he took in a deep sigh. "I'm fourteen myself. So I can see how turnin' twelve is of a grown age. So I'll tell ya. I lost my hair on the account of it bein' yellow."

Audra's and Stacy's eyes widened as they had yellow hair as well. Audra finally spoke up. "Like ours?"

"Most like yours." Heath let one hand rub his head. "I loved my yeller hair. Many a people said it looked like golden sunshine."

Audra's mouth dropped opened realizing Nick had said her hair was golden sunshine.

"What does that have to do with you having no hair?" Carol wasn't afraid at all. If the thin boy was telling the truth, she had brown hair.

"Well, the thing is I had to get all my head bald because of bugs. Huge bugs that come around only around the age someone might turn twelve or older. On account of being so skinny, the bugs waited until I was fourteen. But healthy girls like yourself, well I'd say those bugs come around as they are supposed to. These here bugs think golden hair is corn silk. They swarm and attack the hair until they eat it all gone."

"You're lying!" Audra exclaimed. "I never heard such a tale."

"My sister has yellow hair and never had bugs eat it." Stacy added.

Heath shrugged. "Reckon it don't matter if ya believe me. I'm only telling what ya ask of me. Besides, these bugs only come around once every so often when the weather is right. Your sister must be blessed with good timin' or she used some trickery. Maybe she stayed inside a lot."

"She is a home body mama says." Stacy licked her dry lips.

Heath whistled slightly before adding. "Have you ever heard the story of Rapunzel?"

"Yes." The girls chorused.

"Well, the wicked woman that put her in the tower wasn't really wicked. She stuck Rapunzel up in that tower to keep the bugs from gettin' to her golden hair. The bugs don't like inside none. The stupid things know corn can't grow inside so's they know it ain't corn silk if inside. But iffin' you turn twelve and your a healthy sort, them bugs will attack and eat at your head until every hair is gone. That's why I got the sores too. Those pesty critters ate my hair to the scalp and left sores cause they wanted more." Heath shook his head as he allowed his shoulders too droop. "I sure wish I'd stayed inside on my birthday or wish I had covered my hair with manure."

"Manure?" Stacy swallowed.

"Yeah. Cow or horse $H**" Heath looked down at his bare feet trying not to laugh at the snooty little girls.

"That's gross." Carol rolled her eyes.

"Well, you don't hafta worry much. Most times, the bugs don't mistake brown hair for corn silk. It already looks like manure." Heath shrugged. "Reckon' your safe."

"My hair doesn't look like manure!" Carol exclaimed. "My hair shines."

"Well, the bugs are a dumb bunch. Guessin' I'd stay inside or make my hair at least smell bad in case they do make the mistake. Accordin' to what I know, you only have to stay in the house for two weeks or make your hair smell for the same time."

Stacy and Carol felt tears well up in their eyes. There was no way their parents would let them out of their chores for two weeks. They'd be outside with the bugs without a way to escape.

Audra nudged the girls with her elbow. "Come on. He's lying."

"Iffin' ya don't believe me. Ask Jarrod or Nick Barkley iffin' my hair ain't gone due to bugs. You believe them don't cha?" Heath pushed off the fence as he walked away. He glanced at the sky. "I'd get inside if I were you. I do hear the wings of the bugs flappin'. Yep. I believe I do. My name's Heath so you can ask them right out about me."

The three girls ran quickly away making their way to the large house. They ran into Nick on the way. Audra asked quickly if Heath had lost his hair to bugs. Nick shook his head sadly and said yes. The girls squealed as they made their way into the house. Nick rolled his eyes at the pestering little girls before making his way towards the barn.

Two days later, Audra refused to come out of the house as well as refused to unwrap a towel from her head. When questioned, Audra wouldn't answer. Victoria would let Tom deal with it if the girl continued her indoor seclusion.

Victoria Barkley was soon given the answer of Audra's stranger behavior when visited by the irate mothers of Carol and Stacy. The girls had some strange notion that they needed to rub manure in their hair. According to them, Nick Barkley had told them too. Nick didn't have a clue what they were talking about. The girls said he backed up the skinny boy's story.

"Skinny boy?" Victoria questioned in confusion. "What boy and what story?"

"The bald boy by the corral. He said bugs ate his hair." Audra bit her lip. "Nick said he lost his hair to bugs just like the boy Heath claimed."

"OH!" Nick glanced at his father, who was trying to hold back laughter. "What exactly did the bald, skinny boy say?"

All three girls were fidgeting as they peered at their feet. Audra looked up shyly. "He said that he was bald because yellow haired people get their hair ate because bugs confuse hair for corn silk. He said it was time for the bugs to appear. They leave in two weeks time."

Carol Sue's mother looked at her. "Why does this have to do with you? Your hair is brown."

"Oh. Well, the boy, who lives in the house by the corral, said that I had hair like manure so I was safe. But I said my hair didn't look like manure. He said best be sure and make sure it smells like it. So Stacy and I decided to make sure the bugs didn't get us. We couldn't stay inside like Audra for two weeks." Carol was glad she didn't smell like cow manure now but she was still worried being out with the bugs being around. It took more than one hair washing to get the smell out.

"What have you let move into the cottage, Victoria?" Carol Sue's mother stated angrily.

"I'll talk to Heath's mother. He won't be bothering the girls anymore." Victoria explained. "He will keep to the cottage when they are over as well as when Audra is out."

"Heath wouldn't do this on purpose unless the girls provoked him." Nick squared back his shoulders.

Audra felt guilt overwhelm her. She didn't think her mother would toss the boy out but she wouldn't chance it. "We were kind of mean to him, Mother. We insulted his looks. He was getting even. We believed him. It is our fault."

Carol's and Stacy's mothers started to apologize to Victoria. "We will speak to the girls."

"Mama, what is a bastard?" Stacy stated as they left. "That boy said bastard don't rub off so we didn't have to worry about him."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N I read a fanfic with the idea of Heath having to have his scars cut to allow for growth. I am borrowing that idea and give credit to whoever had the original idea. I'm using it due to needing a way to lead to a close relationship** **between he and Audra. A relationship where secrets become a very important part of their life.**

 **Chapter 17:Scars**

Hannah pushed down on Heath's shoulder. "Lay still, boy. I can't do this unless you lay still."

Heath squirmed under Hannah's ministration. "Do ya have to, Mama?"

"I'm sorry, boy. I do." Hannah stopped momentarily to dry the tears that were streaking down her cheeks. "You won't grow right if I don't."

Heath and Hannah had been on the ranch for three months now. The two tended to not bother anyone by mostly keeping to themselves. Hannah worked at cleaning the men's, in the bunk house, laundry while Heath helped out on tasks around the ranch such as the tack room, mucking stalls, and fence mending. The two were happy with their small cottage behind the corral. Not going to sleep hungry was a major improvement for both of them. Add the fact that the cottage was in good condition, it was like their two felt blessed beyond what they ever dreamed.

Heath was allowed to hunt on Barkley land. Their table never went without meat and Heath shared his bounty with the bunkhouse cook in exchange for some flour or cornmeal for bread. Hannah grew a small garden, which allowed for their intake of vegetables. Nothing could be finer to Mama Hannah and her son, Heath.

Heath knew to stay clear of any of the Barkleys. Nick didn't seem to be able to spend time with the boy as much as he wanted. Although, Nick did make time to help Heath when mending fences. Jarrod had been gone for over a month. He had been busy with cases in San Francisco. Due to this, Jarrod was unable to check on the rape allegations that were against Heath. Jarrod knew Heath would be safe as long as he resided on the ranch.

Heath had seen the mother and father of the Barkley family off in a distance. He never dared to approach her. Since the incident with his hair, he made his presence unseen when the small golden haired girl had friends over.

Heath's hair had grown back out to a thick mop of blonde tendrils. He had built up some of his strength since the war. His nightmares were frequent but he didn't scream out in his sleep. It was a silent weeping, which he felt shame about. _Men didn't cry_. At fourteen, Heath felt more like a man than a child. Hannah treated him as such too.

Audra Barkley was an inquisitive girl. The fact that her parents said to stay clear of the cottage and the boy who dwelled in the cottage, made Audra that more intrigued about the boy. Therefore, she decided to only steal a peek at the strange mother and son. She had never saw a black woman have a white child. However, that is exactly what she heard the boy call the woman. Therefore, Audra knew it was to be fact.

As Audra peered in the window, her face paled. She threw her hand over her mouth before running towards the house. She barged through the kitchen door panting for breath.

Silas stood by the stove placing bread into the oven to bake for dinner. "Miss Audra, what has gotten into you?"

Audra knew better than to tell her mother of being near the cottage. However, she wanted to save the boy from the one he called 'Mama'. She took a deep breath.

"Oh, Silas." Audra grabbed Silas's hand. "You have to come with me. That woman has the yellow haired boy down on the bed. She is cutting him with a razor!"

Silas followed Audra quickly as they made haste to the small cabin. Silas glanced through the window to see the boy holding tightly to the mattress he lay on. His fingers squeezed the edge of the mattress awaiting for Hannah to begin cutting his back.

Silas saw the tears pouring down the woman's face. He closed his eyes before deciding what he needed to do. "Stay here, Miss Audra. This isn't what you think. She isn't hurting the boy. She's helping him."

Silas knocked on the door as he rocked nervously on his feet. Hannah answered as she brushed tears from her cheeks. Silas spoke before she could.

"Begging your pardon, Miss. It seems little Miss Audra thought you were hurting the boy. I see that you're not. However, I'd like to help. This job is done much easier with two." Silas watched the relief spread over the black woman's face.

Hannah nodded. "Please come in. I sure could use the help."

The two made it into the Heath's bedroom. Hannah closed the door as Hannah glanced back towards Heath, who was sitting on the bed with his shirt pulled back over him. "This is the first time I had to do this. He's growing some and well…"

"I've helped before, Miss…." Silas interjected as he walked over to the bed where Heath sat.

"Call me Hannah." Hannah looked at Heath apprehensively. "Can he help me, Heath?"

"Iffin' ya don't mind." Heath pulled his shirt off as he looked at Silas. "It hurts like the dickens."

"I'm sure it does." Silas watched as Heath lay on his belly on the mattress. Silas noted the boy clutched the mattress readying himself for the pain bound to happen.

Silas took the razor blade from Hannah's shaking hand. "Let me, Hannah. You hold the boy down."

"He's my boy." Hannah peered at the black man with a stern look. "I raised him all by myself. This here is my son. His name is Heath."

Silas glanced down at the boy, who didn't object to what Hannah said. Silas had a surge of respect envelope him for the black woman. It took a lot of courage to claim a white child as your own. Hannah could be beat or worse for the audacity of claiming to have a white son. Silas inhaled deeply before placing the razor blade against Heath's scars.

"Hold real still, ." Silas watched the boy's shoulder flinch as the blade touched the boy's skin.

"Please call me Heath. I ain't no mister to anyone." Heath whispered with a shaky voice. Then he addressed Hannah. "You reckon it will hurt worse than getting the scars in the first place, Mama?"

"No, son. It won't hurt that bad. It will hurt a spell though." Hannah raked her hand through Heath's hair as she kissed his forehead. "Now be brave for your mama."

Silas again felt a sudden pride for this unusual family. He knew the chances the two had taken to call one another by mother and son. The boy's words were as sincere as when Silas had heard Audra call Victoria 'Mother'.

Thinking of Audra, Silas looked towards the window. As he feared, the twelve year old girl was peering in with a petrified look on her face. Silas didn't have time to think as he had already started the cutting of the boy's scars.

"This has to be done so you don't grow crooked." Silas said more for Audra's benefit than Heath's. He was sure the boy understood the pain being inflicted was for a good reason.

Heath turned towards his open window, which remained opened even on the coldest nights. "That little girl doesn't need to be here."

The shame in Heath's voice was evident. He didn't want the golden haired Barkley girl to see his scars or the torture he had to endure to grow properly. Audra crawled through the window as she listened to the boy's words.

Surprised by her actions, Heath jerked suddenly.

"Hold still!" Silas warned before turning to Audra. "Miss Audra, what do you think you're doing?"

"I can help." Audra shuddered at the scars on Heath's back.

"You're too young for this." Heath warned as he felt a tear escape his eyes.

"How old were you when you were in the war, Heath?" Audra stated stubbornly.

"Twelve." Heath answered in a low soft whisper. "Don't reckon that is your business though?"

"Perhaps it isn't. The fact is that I'm twelve now. If you can fight a war, I can help fix you up." Audra stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest. "I shouldn't have spied on you and your mama. I thought she was hurting you. Now, let me help too."

Heath didn't argue any more. He wanted the ordeal over with. If the little girl insisted on being here, it wasn't his fault. She had been warned.

Hannah told Audra what to do to help. Audra gathered cold water from the outside pump. She had tore rags as Hannah held Heath down while Silas cut him.

She had watched in awe as the blonde boy held out crying in pain. Heath's cheeks were wet with tears but he stubbornly refused to scream out. Heath's grip on the mattress caused his knuckles to whiten. Suddenly, Heath's grip loosened as he passed out due to the pain he was enduring.

Silas had to go back to his duties in the house after he finished the unpleasant rendering of cutting Heath's scars. Hannah had a lot of laundry still left undone. Therefore, Audra insisted on staying with Heath so she could place cold rags on his newly cut flesh.

Heath woke as Audra placed the cold rags on his back. Tears were still flowing down her cheeks as she changed out the rags on Heath's back for cooler rags.

"Why are you doing this, little girl?"

"I'm not a little girl." Audra stubbornly insisted. "I want to help you."

"Why?" Heath insisted on a reason. No one had ever wanted to help him before with the exception of Hannah. "You don't need to be here."

"I know." Audra sighed as she raked her sleeve over her wet cheeks. "I don't know why Heath. I just know I want to be your friend."

"I don't have any friends. Don't need any." Heath's body jerked at the coldness of the wet rag, which Audra placed on his back.

"Well, you have one if you want." Audra softly spoke as she sat in the chair next to his bed.

"I reckon I'm not good at trustin' girls." Heath answered honestly. "I never had a friend like ya."

"You can trust me, Heath." Audra brushed the hair from Heath's eyes. "I have three brothers. I know how to be friends with a boy."

"I never had a sister either." Heath glanced at Audra. "Reckon it feels the same as having a girl for a friend."

"I reckon. I can always use another brother especially one that looks an awful lot like me." Audra giggled slightly. "Even if you're not my brother. I can adopt you as one and you can adopt me as a sister."

"I'll try. You need to let the rags be. I have to work on the tack room later." Heath grinned despite the burning and itching on his back. "As far as us being friends, your folks won't like it none."

"Secrets aren't always bad, Heath." Audra pulled the rags off his back. "I'm going to tend more to your scars. Your mama said to put this salve on the new cuts. Then, I'll wrap you up so you can go back to work."

Heath pulled on his shirt after Audra finished wrapping bandages around him. He drew in his bottom lip before addressing Audra. "Thanks. Will you do me a favor and not tell anyone about the scars?"

"I'm your friend. I'll keep your secret." The blonde girl assured the blonde boy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~B~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why in the world did you work him on the fence line, Nick?" Tom stood back as he watched Dr. Merar stitch his youngest son's hand.

"Figure he could do it." Nick crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "That boy, Heath, is same age. He does a fine job at stringing wire. I thought Eugene could use some learning on how to work a fence line. I strung wire and worked the ranch when I turned ten. Eugene is fourteen. He needs to earn his keep. This is a working ranch."

"It is alright, father." Eugene stated nonchalantly. "I told Nick I was ready for him to pull the wire. I wasn't. I like working with Nick."

"Well, I reckon we all got scars to show for the work we put in around here. This will be your first one." Tom chuckled as he ruffled the boy's hair.

Eugene let out a welp at the pain. Nick and Tom laughed as the boy tried his best to keep from crying out in pain.

"No shame in the pain, boy." Nick stated as he walked over to fetch a sandwich from the platter Silas had brought in the parlor for lunch. He munched down as he watched Dr. Merar stitch up the torn flesh.

"Didn't take but five stitches." Dr. Merar placed his instruments back in his bag after cleaning them. "See that Victoria keeps his hand cleaned."

"I will." Tom assured Dr. Merar as he left. Then, he looked over at Nick, who was eating another bite of sandwich. "You don't lose your appetite no matter what. Do you ,son?"

"Nope." Nick mumbled as he took another bite. "I guess he has the rest of the day off."

The parlor door opened as Victoria made it into the room. She shook her head at the sight before her. Before, she could say anything Jarrod came barrelling through open the door. He escorted a gorgeous woman into the room with him.

"Is everyone here?" He asked as his arm went proudly around the female.

"Audra isn't. She's out playing somewhere." Victoria looked curiously at Jarrod and the female next to him.

Nick looked on appreciative of the female's fine looks. Eugene was busy glancing at his hand's wondering if he would have a new scar. Tom looked at the woman. His face went into a slight scowl as he stared at her.

"Well, I'll introduce Audra to her later." Jarrod drew the female closer to him. "I'd like all of you to meet my new bride. This is Leah Elizabeth Barkley."

The female smiled kindly as she tried to ignore Tom Barkley's presence in the room. She hoped Tom would not remember her. She didn't want those old scars being opened up.

"Please to meet you all. Everyone calls me Beth."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Wow! New interest in this story has made me want to update**

 **Chapter 18 : The Princess and the Pauper**

Audra snuck up quietly to the top of the loft ladder. She looked around quickly before she spotted Heath sitting atop a hale bail watching the sunset.

Heath turned around and raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Watcha doin' out here, little lady? Seems you're missin' a mighty fine party."

Audra held out a piece of cake towards Heath. "I wanted you to have a piece of cake. You didn't get one at my birthday party a few months back."

Heath allowed a half smile to form on his face. He had been on Barkley land for six months. His hair had grown back out and his wounds had healed. His body was still smaller than that of a normal fourteen year old boy. However, he was beginning to gain weight due to the Barkley land had woods rich for hunting. Also, Hannah's small garden flourished with food. Heath had provided a lot of food for his mama Hannah and himself from the hunting and exchanges with the bunkhouse cook.

"I thought it was a celebration of Jarrod's marriage?" Heath questioned as he took the offered cake. He put it aside. "I'm gonna save this so Mama Hannah and I can have it tomorrow night after dinner. She'll love it. I got us a mighty fine eight point buck yesterday. Shared some meat with the cook at the bunkhouse."

Audra settled on the hay next to Heath. "I know. Nick was growling mad that you got the deer he had been hunting for weeks."

"Sorry." Heath blushed slightly. "Don't want to make none of ya'll mad."

"Nick wasn't really mad. He was impressed with your shooting. Nick likes you a lot. He said you were great at taking care of the tack room and stalls. You surprised him on how good you been with the horses too." Audra maneuvered to get more comfortable. "Mother decided to throw a party because Jarrod showed up with a new bride a few months ago. Mother wanted to do something nice for them. His wife is really pretty. I heard Mother say father acted kind of funny when he saw her. She did too. I think the man she was married to had run ins with Father. Jarrod explained that Beth's dead husband was who was part owner of the railroad not his bride. Mother wanted to make up for father's lack of enthusiasm over the marriage. So she made the party into a reception and a welcome to the family thing."

"Looks like a big affair. More folks at the party than those living in the whole town of Strawberry. I reckon Jarrod isn't gonna help with the accusations against me." Heath stated softly. He was used to people letting him down.

"That's not true. It was his new wife that begged him to let an assistant gather the information for Jarrod. She said they were newly married and an assistant could do the interviews in Strawberry." Audra gripped Heath's arm. "Jarrod wouldn't let you down, Heath. It was his wife, Beth, who insisted. I guess he didn't want to fuss first thing being married."

"How do you know that?" Heath asked as he plucked a straw of hay to place in his mouth.

"I eavesdropped. Not that I do that often. But for you, I do." Audra grinned as she crossed her legs under her. "I want to watch out for you. You being my best friend and all."

"Your family don't know you sneak to see me. Do they?" Heath asked as he watched Audra draw in a shaky breath.

"No. Mother still isn't sure about you. Father doesn't want his princess around…"

"The pauper." Heath teased. "It's okay, Audra. You don't have to keep coming to see me."

"Like I said, you're my best friend now, Heath." Audra admitted in a quick denial of what he was suggesting. "I can't explain it. It is like you're another brother to me. Only, you're my best friend too."

"I reckon I feel the same. Since you started coming around, I feel like you're the only real friend I ever had near my age. Your brothers, Nick and Jarrod, are real special to me. They helped me when no one else would. Part of me thinks that is because I saved Nick's life but he saved mine first. But he seems to type to be beholdin' to someone when he ain't. And Jarrod feels guilty for signing up a boy in the war. I reckon I didn't give him much of a choice. So neither owe me a blasted thing. I reckon they think they do or I wouldn't be on this fine ranch. You're the only one that seems friends just for being friends." Heath fiddled with a few pieces of hay. "I never had family but Mama Hannah and my cousin Reggie. You're even a better friend than he was. My Aunt Martha didn't want me around Reggie no more than your parents want me around you. I'm just a bastard, Audra. I might taint all that you are."

"What am I, Heath, that you can taint?" Audra loved her new best friend. She didn't like him talking about himself like he was.

Since the day he had teased her and her two friends about his hair being shaved, she found she was drawn to be near him. Unlike her brothers, Heath never pushed her away or felt she was a nuisance. He enjoyed their secret rides together, fishing with her, and her stories shared. She was his secret keeper too. He told her stories of his life without adding the graphic details too much for a young girl's ears. Audra knew there was more behind his sad eyes but she never pushed. She knew someday when they were older, she'd know anything he wanted to tell about himself.

"Perfect. That's what you are, Audra. Perfect. You ain't tainted by the nastiness of the world." Heath leaned back into the hay. He propped his hands behind his head as he stared up at Audra.

"No one is perfect, Heath." Audra crawled in beside him. The twelve year old relaxed her head on fourteen year old boy's chest. "But if anyone was close. I think it would be you."

Heath felt a twinge of emotion settle over him when the girl felt safe being so near to him. He relaxed as he spoke to her. "I remember teasing Nick once that I'd give you a first kiss. Don't reckon I could ever do that. You feel like I think it would feel to have a little sister. The last few months have been mighty special because of our friendship, Audra. Don't want to make your folks mad though."

"I wish you could've came to the party, Heath." Audra sighed. "It isn't right having to hide my best friend from the world."

"I don't mind. Like I said before, I never had a friend of the female kind." He chuckled lightly adding his lopsided grin to the mix. Then he got very serious. "Audra, don't ever let a boy touch you in a bad way. I know you're too young to understand but don't ever let that happen. And iffin' something were to ever happen with or without your will with a boy, you let me know."

"Why do you want to know?" Audra peered up at her friend. She heard his heartbeat racing under her ear.

"So I can kill him." Heath said in monotone voice. Audra shivered at his words knowing he meant it.

"But if it is my will.." Even though her naive mind had no idea what Heath was referring to, Audra whispered knowing his answer would be the same.

"I'll still kill him. Ain't nobody gonna taint my perfect little best friend." Heath didn't care how harsh it sounded. It was the truth.

Audra was the only pure and beautiful thing in his life. He had no choice in what Martha did to him. Hannah had been used and abused by too many men when she was a child. Her own brothers couldn't keep her safe no matter what they had done. They died trying. Heath felt he'd do the same for this little girl, who he chose to make his sister.

Their voices hushed when they heard someone enter the barn. Heath crawled quietly over to the edge of the loft.

"It's your Pa with some pretty woman. He'll kill me if he finds me with you." Heath whispered. "He would want to keep his princess from..."

"The pauper." Aydra teased before peeking from behind Heath's shoulder. She whispered as quietly as Heath. "That's Beth. Wonder what they're doing here?"

Soon, the two young blondes would find out. Audra would become the secret keeper of not only Heath and her friendship but also of her father's and her brother's bride.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 19: Secret Keepers**

Leah and Tom had snuck away from the party. He had grabbed her by the arm and practically drug the woman to the barn. The party was full swing with too many people to keep track of two people missing. Therefore, Tom took his chance and grabbed his daughter in law's arm and insisted she go with him.

"Shhh." Heath put his finger to his lip as he scooted back from the edge of the barn loft. His voice was almost inaudible as he spoke to Audra."I don't feel like dyin' today. Your pa is gonna kill me iffin' he catches us up here together."

Audra nodded in agreement. She knew it was innocent. Actually, the girl had no idea what the big deal was with being with boys alone but it was not lady like to do so. Therefore, she kept as still as she could. Unfortunately, Tom and Beth couldn't hear Audra or Heath but the children could hear them.

"I know who you are, Leah." Tom placed his fists on his waist. His voice came out in a low growl with a menacing question. "What the ##%% are you doing married to my son?"

"I love him!" Beth wrapped her arms tightly around herself. "I love Jarrod more than I have any man."

"You're ten years his senior. Not to mention the other problem." Tom began to pace back and forth angrily.

"You were twenty years my senior!" Beth defended as she rubbed up and down her arms.

Tom turned back around to peer at her. He ordered with a fierce voice. "You will ask him for a divorce!"

"NO!" Leah begged. "Please, Tom. No one will know any better. I will insist we live in San Francisco. I'll not come to visit with him."

"What about the child? The one you claimed to have had. Was that a lie?" Tom sneered at the younger woman. Leah was shaking due to fear of the man. He seemed so much more menacing than the Tom she once knew. "Tell me! Was that a #$$% lie to make me come running back to you?!"

Heath grabbed Audra when she realized what her father was saying to her brother's bride. He shook his head no. Heath hand swiped away Audra's tears before he started to make his presence known. That would halt the two long enough to get APudra out if the barn. He stopped when he heard Leah's next sentence.

"Maybe when I was in Strawberry I wanted you to come back to me. But not after I met Owen. I had a baby. Your baby, Tom." Leah sniffed as she looked at him. "His name was Heath. Owen made me choose between him and Heath. I thought it was better he live with my brother, Matt and his wife, Martha. He was better off with a family."

"You gave your child up!?" Tom cursed at the woman before him. "How could you?"

"How could I give up OUR child?" Leah smacked Tom's face. Tom just stared at her with no feeling at her or her actions. "You did the same. I told you about him. Your lawyer sent the letter saying you were not legally responsible. Was I supposed to give up my life for a bastard child yet you be happy in your life? I deserved a life too, Tom?"

Heath felt his heart palpitating too fast. He stared at Audra, who was looking shocked at her brother. HER BROTHER.

She felt her throat tighten as tears streaked down her face. "You? They're talking about you."

Heath nodded as he took in a breath. He had to save Audra from getting in trouble but now he feared facing these two people. The parents who chose to give him up for their own happiness.

Heath slowly made it down the loft ladder. Tom jerked his head to look at the blonde child. He hadn't seen him since the day he came on the ranch. His breath hitched in his throat when he saw him. Tom's knees almost buckled at the sight of his miniature self staring back at him.

"You both gave me away." Heath drew in a shattered breath.

Leah's mouth flew open then her hand went to her mouth. "Heath?" Leah stepped forward to touch the teen boy's cheek. "You're beautiful."

Heath slapped her hand away. "Don't ya dare touch me! Don't ya dare."

Leah jerked back her hand. She clasped her stinging hand to her chest. She turned to Tom again. "Why didn't you tell me you had our son here?"

Tom was still stunned. He hadn't bothered to check on the boy living on his ranch. If he had, he'd have known the truth. "I didn't know. Nick and Jarrod brought him here from an army hospital. I didn't know."

"I'm not either of your son. I'm mama Hannah's boy." Heath could feel his lip quiver but he had to maintain control. He'd not let these people see him cry. He'd not give them the satisfaction. He had to get Audra away from this place. He had to protect his little sister.

Audra could see tears welling up in Heath's eyes. She didn't care to get in trouble. She had to help her best friend. She had to comfort her brother. The twelve year old girl climbed down the ladder.

"Don't cry, Heath." Audra ran to stand beside him. She wanted to help the boy. She needed to help him.

Heath stared at Audra for a brief time. Tom's anger grew when he realized his young daughter was in the loft with this boy. Tom didn't think of him as a son at the moment. He thought of his daughter first. He always thought of his family first.

Tom's arm went far back before his open hand smacked across Heath's face. The force caused the teen boy to fall on the floor of the barn. "You piece of trash! What were you doing with my little girl?"

"NO!" Audra dropped to Heath's side. She wept as she looked up at Tom Barkley. "Father, no. We're friends. That's all. He's my friend." Audra glanced at Leah, who stood still not bothering to help Heath. She then looked at her father. "He never touched me! He's my brother!"

Heath wiped the blood from his lip. "I may be trash." He stared at both adults before adding. "But I'm your trash."

Tom grabbed Audra's shoulders. He stooped down to stare into his daughter's eyes. "Go into the house, Princess. Don't say a word to anyone. Do you hear me? I'll be up later to talk to you. You must not hurt your mother and Jarrod. Do you understand? Go to your room through the kitchen. Don't let anyone see you?"

Audra glanced at Heath. She straightened her shoulders defiantly. "I won't leave Heath."

"Do what I say!" Tom warned as he tried to get Audra to obey him. "NOW!"

Audra looked to Heath instead of Tom for an answer. "I won't leave you."

Heath stood up. He pulled Audra to stand. Again, he wiped his mouth from the blood that still flowed. "Go on. Obey your father, Audra. I'll be fine. It ain't the first time I've had some one take their hand to me. I'm sure it won't be the last either."

Audra sniffed as she looked at her father. "Don't hit him again, father."

The little girl scurried away in a flood of tears streaming down her face. She made it to her bedroom unseen by anyone but Silas. She flung herself on the bed wondering how to keep such a huge secret from her mother and brother. Her father was right. It would hurt them to know the truth. Audra knew this because it hurt her to know.

Heath could feel his breath caught in his lungs. It hurt to breathe. His own father had hit him. His own mother never bothered to comfort him. Now they stood staring at him.

Leah was the first to speak up. "You have to go, Heath. You have to leave."

"What?" Heath blinked still trying to keep his composure.

"She's right. If Duke, Silas, or Victoria see him, they'll know Heath is my son. He can't stay on the ranch and ruin my marriage. It would ruin my life...my family." He turned to Heath. " You can't ruin my family." Tom began to pace again. He turned to the boy. "I'll give you money. I'll give you enough money to stay quiet. You can leave here. No one will know."

"What about your little girl?" Leah asked as she began to shake nervously.

"I can convince her to be quiet." Tom added as he stopped pacing. "I can keep them both quiet but the boy looks too much like me. Look at him."

"He does." Leah agreed as she wrung her hands nervously. "We can't let him ruin our lives. We can't. I can give him money too. I have plenty. "

Heath couldn't believe these two adults were talking about him like he wasn't even there. He wasn't going to let them push him into this.

He spoke as he stared at them. "I'll go. But only if Hannah stays. She don't know you. My mama Hannah likes it here. She's at peace. I can tell her I need to find work. I need to be a man. I've been a man for as long as I can remember anyway. She'll believe me. Just promise she can live here and I can visit. I'll make sure no one sees me. I can do that. I know how because of being taught in the army to do so. I'll do that and keep your secret. Me. I'll keep me a secret if you let my mama stay here."

"Why didn't you stay with Matt and Martha? Why are you calling this woman …." Leah started to ask but Heath interrupted.

"Hannah was the one who raised me. I joined the war because my chances of living were better than being beaten by your brother and his wife." He refused to allow them to pity him or be more ashamed of him due to what else Martha had done to him. Heath bit his lip again. He didn't wait for an answer. He ran from the barn to his Modoc pony. Leaping on his horse, he kicked at her sides and raced away. He needed to get out of there.

The next thing Heath knew was he was on top of a dirt grave. He didn't know how long he had rode or how he ended up prone on the grave. Heath sobbed when he read the tombstone.

1850-1860

Reginald Simmons

A Beloved Son

An Angel, who will forever be missed.

Heath slid his hand over the words carved in the stone. "A beloved son. No wonder your mama hated me, Reggie. You were wanted. You were loved. You will be missed. My folks don't want me. I shoulda been the one who died. I shoulda been the one who is in this grave. My folks gave me up twice now. I don't deserve to live when a boy like you dies. A boy loved by his parents."

Heath collapsed on the tiny grave exhausted. His whole body was wracked with pain as he allowed his sobs to echo into the night. Heath didn't know how long he lay on the cold ground of the grave crying. He didn't know if he could even get up no less walk away from his pain.

Heath felt hands picking his body up. He stared up at the familiar face. He collapsed into the man, who carried him from the grave.

Heath whimpered out weakly. "I'm sorry I lived, Uncle Matt. I'm sorry I lived."

Heath didn't figure he'd have to worry about living much longer considering he was being carried towards the hotel by his Uncle Matt.


	21. Chapter 21

_Chapter 19_

 _Heath collapsed on the tiny grave exhausted. His whole body was wracked with pain as he allowed his sobs to echo into the night. Heath didn't know how long he lay on the cold ground of the grave crying. He didn't know if he could even get up no less walk away from his pain. Heath felt hands picking his body up. He stared up at the familiar face. He collapsed into the man, who cared him from the grave._

 _Heath whimpered out weakly. "I'm sorry I lived, Uncle Matt. I'm sorry I lived."_

 _Heath didn't figure he'd have to worry about living much longer considering he was being carried towards the hotel by his Uncle Matt._

 _ **Chapter 20: Redemption**_

Heath felt his body being placed on a soft mattress in his Uncle Matt's hotel. He kept his eyes shut waiting for the beating he knew would soon come. Heath only allowed his eyes to open when he heard his uncle's footsteps lead him from the room and to the hall. He heard murmuring but couldn't quite make out the voices coming from the outside the closed door. Heath glanced around the room. He was surprised how clean and fresh everything looked. Hannah had always kept the place rather clean but Heath usually had the run down room with dirty sheets and faded curtains. Heath glanced at the side of his bed to notice a vase full of fresh flowers. His brow furrowed in puzzlement at his surroundings. Something wasn't right. Martha Simmons never allowed Hannah take extra time to spruce up a room. Besides that, he knew Hannah didn't work for his uncle for a few years now.

The door opened causing Heath to hold his breath. He snapped his eyes back shut trying to shut out the inevitable. As he squinted opened his eyes, he was shocked to see Rachel Caulfield standing by the bed. His uncle stood behind her with his hands resting on the back of an old wooden chair. Heath shut his eyes again hoping this was a nightmare to wake up from.

"Is he hurt anywhere?" Rachel asked as she took a rag over Heath's dirty face.

"Not that I could see." Matt rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "Got some scarring on his back. Suppose from the war. Looks like it has been cut recently too."

"Hannah's doing." Rachel stated. "To let him grow. She told me stories about that such thing in her slave days."

"I can turn him if ya want me to." Matt breathed out. "Don't look infected or anything but the boy is plum tuckered out. His horse was all lathered too."

"My horse." Heath sat up not caring what happened to him at the moment. He wanted his horse taken care.

"She's alright, boy." Matt swallowed. "I put her in the livery and paid to have her took real good care of."

"Are ya gonna kill me, Uncle Matt?" Heath asked innocently. "I reckon I should die seeing how your boy deserved to live and all."

Rachel felt her eyes burn with tears but she moved from the side of the bed to let Matt Simmons explain. Matt took her place beside Heath.

"No. I'm done hurtin' you, boy. I was wrong the time I beat ya and almost killed you. I was angry because I knew the truth." Matt took Heath's hand in his as he watched the boy flinch at his touch. "I wanted it to be a lie. I didn't want to think what Martha was doing to you. It seemed almost impossible to think of the woman I married as being the woman she became."

Heath glanced down at his hand in his uncle Matt's. "Is she gonna ...I don't wanna stay here. I never wanted her to.." Heath's throat tightened. "To touch me."

"She's dead, Heath." Matt assured. "She hung herself when I went to get you from that army hospital. She couldn't take the guilt. I told her you weren't going to be harmed no more by us. That I had a chance to make things right now and I was going to. She admitted to everything. It made my skin crawl at what she put you through. I thought I was never going to quit throwing up thinking about it. I told her to leave and never come back. Never thought the Barkleys would come to claim you like they did. Was sure happy for you though."

"He found her dead when he returned. She was in the room where she…." Rachel patted Heath's arm. "It is over, Heath. You're safe here."

"Found this clutched in her hand." Matt pulled a small wooden carving from his pocket. "I think it is supposed to be a boy in a wheelchair."

Heath took the wooden figure in the palm of his hand. He wrapped his fist tightly around the object."I wasn't very old when I tried to carve it with Jessup's knife. I was making it for Reggie. It was supposed to be a general for his toy soldiers."

"I reckon that's what Martha figured too. She faced her evil. She had a sick mind, Heath. The worst part is I loved her so much that I couldn't see her cruelty. I'm sorry. I owed you more." Matt felt Rachel's hand go to his shoulder.

"Jessup is dead, Heath. He died while you and Hannah were away. Matt and I...well…" Rachel smiled at Matt. "I guess I'm your real aunt now. I married Matt about a month ago."

"Rachel got me off the bottle and into church." Matt squeezed Rachel's hand. "I owe her my life for taking a chance on me. I owe God much more for his salvation and redemption."

Heath sat up slowly leaning on the headboard of the bed. "Then I'm not gonna die?"

"Not by my hands." Matt reached up and ruffled Heath's hair. "Forgive me boy. Please give me another chance."

Heath felt his eyes wet with tears. The boy rambled a few sentences. "I guess at least you want me. The only blood relation that does. Well, except Audra. Guess Nick and Jarrod don't know. Eugene...never even met him."

"What do you mean, Heath?" Rachel poured a glass of water for the fifteen year old boy. She could see he was trying to hold his emotions together. "Here. Drink this."

Heath swallowed the cool liquid aiding his dry throat and helping him to tell his story. Heath sobbed as he told Rachel and Matt about what he heard in the Barkley's barn. Rachel held him as Matt rubbed his back. Matt knew he wasn't worthy of this young teen's love. However, he hoped God would grace him with a chance to make things right by his nephew.

"You rest, Heath." Rachel help ease Heath back against the pillows. "Does Hannah know where you are?"

Heath started to sit up when he realized he left without telling his Mama Hannah. "No. I was so upset!"

"Relax, son. I'll send a telegram letting her know you're safe and in Strawberry." Matt patted Heath's thigh before he turned to go.

"Uncle Matt, make it to Nick Barkley. Don't trust Mr. Barkley and Jarrod's wife would hide it from Jarrod." Heath bit his lip nervously. "Make it from Aunt Rachel. I don't want Mama worrying about me being with you. She don't know you won't hurt me none."

Matt nodded his head as he left Rachel to care for his nephew. As he made his way down the hall, he stopped to stare at the boarded up room where Heath had been abused. It was also the room that Martha had taken her own life due to that abuse.

Matt Simmons bowed his head as he whispered. "Thanks for giving me another chance with the boy, God. I'll do my best to not let him down this time. Just let him see that life ain't always full of pain. Let that boy feel some good come his way. I beg you."

**************B**********

Tom Barkley stood by his daughter's bedroom door. He slowly ran his hand down the oak wood as he readied himself to go to her. His hand balled into a fist as he tried to gain his composure. After taking a calming breath, he knocked lightly on the door.

"Audra, Princess, can I come in?"

"Yes. Papa." Audra sniffed as she spoke.

Tom opened the door slowly. He shut the door softly before making his way over to sit on the side of Audra's bed. He ran his large fingers through her golden tendrils of hair.

"Princess, did Heath touch you?" Tom's voice came stiff and worried.

Audra pulled her knees up to chin. She wrapped her thin arms around her gangly limbs. "Oh, Papa. Don't you see? Heath is so good. He is my best friend. He'd never hurt me." Her tear filled blue eyes stared up at her father. "I know what you mean, Papa. Heath told me he'd kill any boy that touched me in that way."

Tom frowned as he stared at his little girl. "He didn't explain what touching meant, did he?"

Audra nodded her head no. "I'm not sure what it means out right or why he'd say it. But I know Heath would never let harm come to me. I'm his little sister, Papa. I was before we knew we shared a daddy. Because Heath wanted family so bad, Papa."

"Audra...Sweetie, it is complicated." Tom pulled his daughter to his lap. "My whole family could get hurt if things you heard are told."

Audra leaned her head against her father's chest. She wept as her arms embraced Tom's neck.

Her voice came out in a shattered whisper. "What about Heath getting hurt, Papa? He's family too. How can you be such a good Papa to all of us but not even care about Heath hurting? Why aren't you a good Papa to him too?"

Tom felt his heart break. He closed his eyes as tears streamed down his cheeks. His little girl had lost faith in him as a father. He lost faith in himself as a man. Somehow there had to be a way for redemption in this. He didn't want to hurt his family. However, how could he choose to hurt the son as much his as the others?


	22. Chapter 22

**_Reminder so far in this story….Heath knows who his mother and father are. Both basically gave him up. Tom never claiming him and Leah gave him to her brother when Heath was two. Jarrod met and married a woman named Leah Elizabeth Endicott (maiden name Thomson) unknown to him that the same woman had an affair with his father approximately sixteen (almost seventeen) years earlier. Heath was told to leave the Barkley ranch to save both their hides. Audra is twelve almost thirteen. Eugene is the same age as Heath. Audra knows all the secrets and has made Tom think about what he has done to Heath. Will it change him? Or will he still be the coward when it comes to his illegitimate born son? And what of Leah and Jarrod?_**

 ** _Chapter 21: The Good Stepmother_**

Beth Barkley had spent a day out in San Francisco enjoying spending some money on herself, Jarrod, her three stepchildren of which were adults all but the youngest. Amanda was eighteen going on nineteen. Soon Amanda would be traveling to see Jarrod and her. Beth adored her stepdaughter and stepson.

Jarrod was busy on some sort of case. Beth knew when her young, handsome husband had his mind on a case, nothing was going to stop him in his studying it. She was glad that Tom Barkley wanted to keep his own marriage safe or Beth figured she would be losing hers. Beth only hoped that Tom kept the spoiled little girl of his quiet.

"Hello, Darling." Jarrod greeted Beth as she walked through the door. He had to admit, even though his wife was ten years older than he was, she looked no older than twenty two or twenty three. Her pampered living a testament in her keeping her youth. Of course, thirty-five wasn't too much of an age.

"Hello." Beth kissed Jarrod passionately as she greeted him. She would make sure the man was enticed by her beauty if nothing else. After all, that was the way she got his father in her bed. Beth had to admit, Jarrod was by far the most wonderful lover she had of the three men.

Tom was wonderful. He was a great experience for an innocent girl. Owen was doting and completely taken by her without a doubt. Jarrod was more of a challenge. He was young, handsome, and intelligent. He was rich as well. However, Beth had her own riches now. She didn't need a man for that. No Jarrod was the man she was in love with. Jarrod was the man she was going to make sure she kept no matter what it took. If that blonde bastard of hers tried to interfere, Leah Elizabeth Barkley had ways of shutting him up. If it meant threatening his precious Mama Hannah, so be it. She'd not lose Jarrod Barkley.

"I see you've emptied out half the shops in San Francisco. You definitely rival my mother when it comes to gift buying." Jarrod teased as Beth plopped down on his lap.

"I bought you something." Beth thrust a package to Jarrod. "Open it."

"I've not missed an important anniversary. Have I?" Jarrod asked as he shook the package.

"No. Dear." Beth happily chuckled. "I wanted to get you something special for when you're studying over your files."

Jarrod opened the box to find a handsome dinner jacket. "This is wonderful. I should get you something."

"Don't even think about it. I want it to be a special gift for no reason. I want to dote on my husband. We already have a cook, a maid, and a butler. I'm spoiled. Let me spoil you." Beth whispered in Jarrod's ear.

"Those are your house servants, Beth." Jarrod stated as he smiled. Then his smiled changed to worry.

"What's wrong, Darling?" Beth grasped Jarrod's face as she made him look at her. He looked saddened and weighted down. "Is it the case?"

"No. I received a telegram from Nick." Jarrod alerted Beth to stand. She did as she watched her husband head towards the fireplace. She knew it was a Barkley trait to stoke the fire when in deep thought. She waited patiently for him to continue. "It seems Heath took off the other day."

"Heath?" Beth asked feigning confusion.

"The boy Nick and I rescued from the war camp." Jarrod continued. "The black woman that claims to be his mother was to be told he is in Strawberry with Rachel Caulfield. She was a friend of the woman's."

"That's good. Right? This Rachel being a friend and all." Beth had no idea why that last name sounded familiar. She pushed back in her mind as she acted unknowing.

"I suppose. However, Heath's uncle lives in Strawberry. My assistant told me all the charges were dropped on Heath of the rape. The woman, his aunt, committed suicide but before she did, she confessed of abusing Heath. Abuse mentally and physically and pervertedly." Jarrod said angrily.

Beth almost buckled at the words. "What?"

"Oh, Beth, darling. I never realized I was saying that outloud. Here let me help you sit." Jarrod helped his wife to his chair. "To know any child having went through so much must upset you. I never meant to say those things." Jarrod handed Beth a glass of water. "Here. Drink this."

Beth blinked back tears. She didn't want the bastard child. However, she never wanted Heath to come to harm. Martha was such a good mother to Reginald. There had to be some misunderstanding.

"His uncle? You said the boy had an uncle." Beth felt her hair prickle with perspiration.

"The uncle was the reason why the boy had to join the war at age twelve." Jarrod took Beth's hand. "I shouldn't talk of such."

"No. Please, Jarrod." Beth squeezed his hand. "Tell me of this boy. Maybe I can do something. Money wise."

"You're very generous, Darling. But Heath is a proud young man, he'd never take charity. However, perhaps since this is touching you so, we can set up a fund for children like Heath as to help single mothers. We can name it after Owen if you like." Jarrod could see how upsetting this was making Beth.

"Perhaps. Please. I beg of you, Jarrod. Tell me about the boy's uncle. And the war. Did you state correctly that this boy was in the war?" Beth felt her whole body was weighted down as she felt like she was drowning in guilt.

"According to my assistant, Heath's uncle caught his wife abusing Heath. That was when his aunt screamed rape. Heath's uncle almost beat him to death. I remember I was the recruiting officer the day Heath signed up. He was covered in bruises." Jarrod let go of Beth's hand and stalked to the fire place. "The boy wouldn't take no for answer. However, I'm sure he would be dead if he hadn't joined the war."

"How..how old was he?" Beth stuttered as she felt her throat tightening.

"Twelve! Twelve years old!" Jarrod closed his eyes tightly. "It gets worse."

"Worse?" Beth felt tears trickle down her cheeks. "How?"

Jarrod wasn't staring at Beth but the fire. He didn't see her tears. "Heath was captured and sent to a confederate prison camp. Carterson? Have you heard of it?"

"Yes." Beth whispered.

She remembered Owen was fascinated by the war. He had paid well to keep his son from joining. Yet, Owen kept up with all the news both good and bad. Jarrod turned around when her heard Beth's weak voice. Jarrod mistook her tears for compassion and empathy. He had no idea he was witnessing his wife's guilt for a son abandoned for a better much richer life. A son, who Leah Thomson never looked back on.

"Oh, Sweetheart." Jarrod pulled Beth up to embrace her. "Let's not talk of it. I'm angry and confused by Heath's leaving. I'm sure he is fine. I thought he'd love the ranch. Nick was looking forward to having Heath work with him. We've both been so busy lately. We didn't spend time with the boy to see if he did or not. For some reason, Nick and I are both drawn to him. Nick will make sure Heath is fine."

Beth nodded into Jarrod's shoulder. "Yes. The boy will be fine. I need to lie down and collect myself. Amanda will be here on the afternoon train. I don't want to upset her with worrying over my distress."

"You're a wonderful stepmother, Beth." Jarrod kissed Beth's forehead. "I'm glad Amanda has you."


	23. Chapter 23

**_Chapter 22: Father or Foe_**

Tom Barkley in all of his wisdom had nothing wise to offer himself. He wasn't the man he always felt he was. He was there to fight for any man's battle with a ferocity known of a Barkey. He took pride in the fact that he never let anyone be treated unjust. Yet. He had let his own blood be pushed away like he was a mongrel stray that needed rid of. He slapped and hurt the son, who looked most like him. The son who bore the Barkley mark truer than all of his children. He had treated Heath like the enemy rather than his son. He hadn't been the father the boy needed. He had been Heath's foe.

As he sat at the dinner table, the family ate in silence. There was something foreboding in the air. Victoria knew it. She watched as her little girl looked at her father expectantly. Audra was looking at Tom as if she was willing something from him. It seemed more than Audra's usual cute pout she gave when she wanted a new doll or a new book. Her lovely daughter seemed to be begging for her father to take action on something. Victoria couldn't figure it out. But she knew the little girl wanted more than a toy. She wanted something important to happen.

Victoria knew what was keeping her second born melancholy. It was the missing boy from the house by the corral. Nick was blaming himself for not giving the boy more time. Eugene was equally quiet. She knew his mood was that of jealousy. He couldn't understand why his older brother wanted a stranger around more than him. Victoria knew the answer to that as well. At least she thought she did. The young boy named Heath was more like Nick than Jarrod or Eugene put together. According to Nick, he was great with horses and worked like a full grown man or even two. There was a pride in Nick's voice as he spoke of the boy.

The silence was shattered when Nick's fist hit the table. The glass plates jumped slightly causing a sharp sound. "I should have done something!"

"Nicholas." Victoria chastised her son. However, she could see he was very upset. "If you are talking of that child, he chose to leave. The young man had it good here. You didn't require too much of him."

"That's just it, Mother." Nick sighed out in frustration. "Heath liked to earn his keep. He probably thought I wasn't working him enough because I wanted him gone. He doesn't think he's worth much as it is. The abuse he suffered was…" Nick stopped his words. Audra was present and even if she wasn't, he'd not say such things around his mother.

"What abuse?" Tom looked up from his plate of untouched food. He had been stirring his food around throughout the dinner. Victoria had noticed that too.

"I can't talk about it around the women folk." Nick glanced up at his father. "Perhaps, later."

"His uncle beat him because his aunt accused him of something bad." Audra's small voice whispered. "He also has scars on his back that need cut to help him grow."

"Audra Barkley!" Victoria's eyes widened at her little girl's words. "How did you come by this information, young lady."

"She sneaks out to the barn all the time to see him." Eugene spoke up from his own silent mood.

"Excuse me! And you knew this and didn't stop her!" Victoria slapped her napkin on the table at her son's and daughter's admittance.

"I followed her. I wouldn't let her be in danger." Eugene swallowed. "But all I ever saw them do was talk. He was teaching her how to throw a knife too. I started to stop him but I heard his reasoning. I thought it was a fine idea."

"Throwing a knife! How is that a fine idea, young man?" Victoria didn't know why Tom hadn't started yelling yet. However, she was doing enough yelling herself.

"I never heard much what they talked about. Only when I saw Heath show her how to hold a knife did I get close enough to listen. He said that he didn't want anyone hurting her. That he'd have to kill anyone that ever hurt her. She was his best friend and just in case some day he wasn't around to protect her, she needed to protect herself." Eugene looked up at his mother's wide eyes. "I thought it sounded like a good idea. Seeing as how she snuck out to be with him. Audra could be in danger if she keeps up that type of behavior."

"Heath would never hurt me." Audra whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks. "He only wants me to never come to harm like he has had to live. He said I was too perfect and pure for the likes of folks in this world. He thought I was too good to be his friend. Heath told me about his uncle but he never told me what bad was done to him by his aunt. I only know the scars because I helped Silas and his mama."

"What do you mean, Audra?" Tom finally spoke up from his self imposed silence. "How did you help them?"

"His mama has to cut the scars so he can grow. I don't know where he got them. But I saw through the window. I was being nosey. Heath is really handsome. I wanted to spy on him." Audra's face blushed slightly. "But after that, we became friends more like family." She looked at her father briefly before continuing the story. Again, she willed him to talk. "Heath didn't want me to see his scars, Mother. He was ashamed. I insisted as he needed help. I put cold rags and the salve his mama mixed up for him. At first I got Silas because I thought Heath's mama was punishing him. Silas explained it had to be. I just wanted to help. We're real close now. But he made me promise not to tell about the scars. But sometimes…" Audra's tears came out in a sob. "Sometimes, secrets shouldn't be kept if it means harm to him."

Audra pushed back her chair. She ran sobbing from the room.

"What in the world?" Nick started to stand to follow Audra. Victoria did as well.

"Sit down." Tom ordered as he stared at his wife and son. They both did although confused by his tone. Victoria thought she'd tell him about his use of an order with her later. However, that would not be what they fought about that night.

"Nick, it's not your fault Heath left. It's mine." Tom dropped his fork onto his glass plate. "It's my fault anything that has happened to that boy."

"What are you talking about, Tom?" Victoria felt her heart beating rapidly. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm a coward. My own little girl has lost all faith in me as a father. I've lost all faith in myself as a man. Nick, you will tell me everything you know about Heath. Then you and I will go to Strawberry and try our darndest to get that boy back on this ranch where he belongs." Tom stood up and threw his napkin on the table.

"I don't understand, Thomas! Make me understand." Victoria's voice quivered as she spoke.

"I have neglected and abandoned my son too long." Tom felt his eyes burning with tears. "Heath James is my son from the woman I spoke to you about in Strawberry."

Victoria gasped as her hand went over her mouth. Nick cursed. Eugene sat wide eyed. Audra had stopped at the outside door praying for her father to be the man she had always thought he was. She ran back into the room. She threw her arms around Tom's waist.

"Oh, Papa. Please bring him home. Bring my brother home." Audra broke down in uncontrollable sobs.

"Eugene, take your sister upstairs. You both get ready for bed." Victoria spoke behind her teary voice. "I need to speak to your father. Nicholas, wait in the parlor. Your father will send for you soon."

"Yes, Mother." Came a chorus of agreement from the Barkley children.

"To the study." Victoria stood straight. "Come now,Thomas. We will talk."

Tom's biggest worry wasn't that Victoria wouldn't eventually forgive him. After all, she knew of the affair. It was how the knowledge of Heath would upset his life as he knew it. Tom knew deep down that he only reason he was revealing his being Heath's father was because he had lessened in his daughter's eyes. Tom couldn't find it in himself to love a son whose mother meant nothing to him. To Thomas J. Barkley, Heath represented everything he found as a weakness in himself. Not the son that his other boys were. Not the child to be loved and cherished but a mistake to remind Tom Barkley of his weakness so long ago.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 23:Heath First

Jarrod Barkley sat holding a glass of whiskey. He stared at the piece of paper held in his fisted hand. His brain trying to adjust to what his eyes had already seen. His assistant had slipped the papers in the file not recognizing names as the assistant only was checking on Heath James' accusations of rape against him. Once that was solved, the assistant stuffed all papers in the file and happily called it a day. He felt Jarrod Barkley would be pleased with quick work.

Jarrod was pleased that Heath was cleared of all accusations. However, Jarrod Barkley was thorough and never left loose ends left untied. He had told his lovely wife Beth to take her step daughter, Amanda to the theatre and a nice dinner as he looked over his case. He never told her about the case being Heath James. He saw how distraught she was at the mention of the child abuse. Now he knew why.

Seeing the name Owen Endicott scrawled on the witness line as well as the one responsible for any money that was owed for the lawyer, Mr. Caulfield, immediately alerted Jarrod to keep reading the file's information. Jarrod's throat went dry when he saw Leah Elizabeth Thomson as the mother. His heart beat rapidly knowing that was his wife's maiden name. It was when he saw the letter from his father's lawyer, Jarrod's mind went into a swirling mess of confusion. Then Jarrod read the words so final and telling. Thomas Jonathan Barkley denied any legal responsibility for his illegitimate son, Heath Morgan Thomson.

Jarrod knew the boy as Heath James. The boy, whose life was nothing but pain, was his brother or stepson depending on how Jarrod looked at it. Jarrod angrily sipped his whiskey. His father had an affair with his own wife before they were married. His father stood at their wedding reception and kept that secret from him. His own father never told him. His own father, a great father, kept a son a secret to be abused by a life so unfair.

Jarrod knew one thing for certain. One thing he had come to realize as he sat there angrily mulling over the facts in evidence. That fact was Heath had never been put first. It was time for a change.

The lawyer heard his wife and her stepdaughter's excited utterances as they walked into the house in San Francisco. Beth had felt guilty. However, her own selfishness won out again when she saw her stepdaughter. Ironically, Jarrod could see the love she had for the girl when she had none for the blonde haired son she had gave birth to.

Beth bid her step daughter good night before trying to find her husband. She walked into Jarrod's home office to see her husband's red eyes and disheveled appearance. His anger evident in his look at her.

Beth made her way to Jarrod's chair. She kneeled in front of him. "Darling, what's wrong?"

Jarrod never answered her. His fists only clenched tighter. Beth pried his long fingers from the crumpled papers. She read them as reality hit her. Beth fell back on her haunches as sobs wracked her petite body.

"I don't know who hurt me worse, Beth. You or father." Jarrod's voice came out in a husky tone.

"Jarrod, I can explain…" Beth grabbed Jarrod's knees. She clutched him tightly.

"No. You will listen to me, Leah." Jarrod vehemently ordered. "I don't know who of you two hurt me worse. However, I do know that you both have done irreparable damage to that young man. So you're going to listen to me. You're going to get that boy back legally."

"You're not divorcing me?" Beth's words rang with hope.

"Don't get your hopes up, Leah." Beth noted Jarrod's use of the name she had given up when she left Strawberry. "That will come. However, before it does, you're going to get Heath back legally. Then you're going to sign Heath over to me. I will be his legal guardian. As his stepfather, I have a right to adopt him since he has no legal father. His own father wasn't man enough to claim him. Once I adopt him, I plan to divorce you. Then as Heath's legal guardian, I plan to sue you and my father on Heath's behalf. That is if you, Thomas Barkley, and I, as Heath's representative, can not come to a legal agreement before hand. Believe me, I know father has no legal obligation. However, I can make your lives miserable through litigation."

"Why are you doing this?" Beth felt her hands being pried from Jarrod's legs. "WE can raise Heath together."

"No, Leah, you gave up the right to have him." Jarrod tossed back his drink. "As for the why, I think it is time someone puts Heath first


	25. Chapter 25

**_Chapter 24:Not Wanted_**

Tom Barkley's head jerked back from the sting of Victoria's slap. Her hands shook as she stepped away from her husband. The shock in her eyes caused the man to take in a large inhale of air.

"I don't even know you." Victoria's voice cracked as tears spilled down her cheeks. "A son, Tom. YOUR son!"

Tom glared at his wife. He didn't reprimand her for the slap. He did try to explain his past actions. "Vic, you know you wouldn't have taken him in then. Be honest with yourself."

"How do you know? You never gave me the chance to find out!" Victoria yelled at the man. She had loved Tom Barkley for so long. She had faced his indiscretion, the moment of weakness.

The man who stood before her felt like a stranger to her.

"I couldn't take that chance, Vic." Tom began to pace back and forth in front of his wife, who had slumped down into a chair in front of the fireplace. "You were having a difficult time carrying Gene." Tom stared at his wife. "You and OUR children always came first. Always will too. You know that! I wouldn't take a chance of losing the child you carried for a bastard from a woman I cared nothing about."

Victoria closed her eyes as she thought of the time Tom was referring to. She was having a difficult time carrying Eugene. She had almost lost him more than once. He even came early. She added up the dates in her head. Eugene was only a few months older than Heath. Would she or could she have faced Tom having a healthy child by another woman? What he said made sense. As cruel as it was to Heath to ignore his existenc, the fact was that she may have lost Eugene if she heard about a child by another woman.

"What about after, Tom? Why didn't you check after Eugene became healthy?" Victoria tried to reason with the guilt that was plaguing her as well. "You knew you had a son out there."

"I knew I might have a son, Vic. MIGHT! The woman …" Tom's face paled when he realized that Victoria didn't know who the woman was. "Oh Gawd!"

Tom fell to his knees in front of Victoria. She saw the pain etched on his face. She brushed back his hair from his forehead. She hated herself for loving him so.

"What can be worse, Tom?" Victoria knew there was more concerning the woman. "Did the affair continue?"

She didn't want to know. However, she had to know if it were so. That way she could work out if she could repair the marriage or face it was over.

"No. Never." Tom grasped her delicate hands in his strong calloused hands. "I told the truth to you. She seduced me when I was weak from being beaten. I felt I owed her and she was young and used her charm to get into my bed. I love only you, Vic. I've always only loved you. But there is so much pain in this. I didn't know. Believe me. I didn't know."

Tom clutched Victoria's hands tighter. She didn't try to pull away. Despite her anger at him. Despite her fears. She needed this man to comfort her even if he was the reason for her pain.

"What? JUST TELL ME!" Victoria jerked her hands away when she saw Tom hesitating to answer her. She would not let Tom touch her until she knew what had him more upset than the fact he had neglected a child. What could be worse?

Tom blinked as he steadied his voice. Panic was what he was feeling but he knew he had to come clean to save his family and his marriage. The family he wanted to hold on to. He had no idea how to keep the oldest son with the depth of the secret.

"The woman who had Heath….." Tom raked his hand over his face. He remained on his knees kneeling in front of Victoria. "She gave up her rights to Heath to her brother. Heath's uncle allowed him to be abused as well as abused him. That much I know. The man she married refused to take care of another man's son."

"Are you sure that the boy is yours?" Victoria questioned. If a woman could so easily give up a child for a man, what kind of woman was she? Was her word enough to prove the child's parentage?

"Yes. One look at the boy and you know he is mine. Leah was innocent when I was with her." Tom hesitated at the word innocent. "Not innocent but untouched. I'm not sure that woman was ever innocent. Vic, she married a wealthy man. The man was a widower named Owen Endicott."

Victoria's eyes widened. "NO! NO! NOT Jarrod's Beth!"

Tom grabbed his wife and pulled her to his lap. Victoria sobbed as she wilted into his arms. He brushed his fingers through her graying tendrils of hair.

"Shhhh. My love. Shhhh. I didn't know what became of Leah. I never cared for her. NEVER. Therefore, I never checked back. I assumed she would move on and find a man to raise the boy." Tom paused. "That's not true either. I just didn't care enough to worry of what became of Leah or her son."

Victoria's body shook and trembled against her husband. "Your son too, Tom."

"Not of my heart." Tom admitted. "I don't feel for this child. This son. But I do for Jarrod. His wife deceived him. How am I to tell my own son that the woman he married had a child by me? That I had an affair with her sixteen years ago? My son means too much to me to lose him because of this woman."

"Beth seemed so genuinely in love with Jarrod." Victoria allowed Tom to pick her up as he sat with her on the settee. "We can't hide this from him. I don't know what he will choose to do. But I will support his decision."

"I told Beth to divorce him. I ordered it. She refused." Tom admitted as his fingers still made their way through Victoria's hair. "Heath and Audra were hid in the barn. I sent Audra into the house. We both offered to pay him to leave so we could keep our secret."

Victoria hated her weakness for the man that held her in his arms. She loved him beyond her own life. She had forgiven him for the affair years earlier. She wouldn't be angry for the same thing she had once forgiven him for. She wasn't feeling anger now. She was feeling unsure about the man holding her. Victoria was sure of his love. She wasn't sure of how the man she knew and adored could have done a son so wrongly.

Then she thought of carrying Eugene. It was a trying time for her. Tom would put his family before anything or anyone. The family he loved and not the son, who wasn't wanted.

Victoria once again felt broken. The poor child was denied by both parents. She had to be strong for the child even if it broke her heart for her oldest son. "Go find Heath, Tom. Bring that boy home. Even if you don't love him as your son. Make him think you do. We will deal with Jarrod later. That boy needs a home here if not with us than with his Mama Hannah."

What Victoria didn't know was that while they were discussing Heath, he would never be able to come home to his Mama Hannah. The woman had died in her sleep after saying a prayer of thanks for allowing Heath and her to finally have a happy home. Hannah never knew Heath had left for Strawberry. Nick hadn't told her because he wanted to make sure the boy was safe first . She thought Heath was on the ranch working. She knew he loved it. Therefore, she settled down in a peaceful sleep. Never to wake again


	26. Chapter 26

**_Chapter 25: On the Way to Strawberry_**

Jarrod Barkley had a massive headache that throbbed behind his eyes. He had made sure all the paperwork to adopt Heath was in order. Beth signed them in hopes Jarrod would give their marriage a second chance. He had wrote up divorce papers as well. Beth begged and cried. She claimed that was her past to please let her have a future with him. The fact was that Beth having an affair with his father years ago wasn't the problem. That surprised him when he faced it. Jarrod was angry for Heath. The boy deserved much more in his life from the two adults that decided he was discardable.

Heath was treated like a mongrel pup tossed away to the world without a second thought. Jarrod hated Tom and Keah for that fact.

The train trudged along at a normal speed. However, to Jarrod, it felt like an eternity as the train made it's way towards the depot closest to Strawberry. He would take a horse and buggy the last two hours there. He could take his horse but Beth had to be there to explain to Matt to sign Heath over to Jarrod. It was in the boy's best interest.

She was appalled by hearing about Heath's abuse at the hands of her brother and his wife. Beth realized not only did she put Leah Thomson behind when she left Strawberry, she put her son behind as well. Tears filled Beth/Leah's eyes when she pictured the blonde haired boy staring at her with such hurt filled blue eyes. He was as handsome as any child she had ever saw in her life. She remembered the last time she seen him as a toddler. He had curly hair almost white. His smiled was a slight crooked one. Leah/Beth wondered if he still had the crooked smile. She wondered if the young teenager ever smiled with the pain he had endured.

Jarrod had not left any bad out as he ranted to her about Heath Morgan Thomson's life. Jarrod knew he was hurting her with his words. He didn't care. She didn't care about Heath. She should know what her selfishness had allowed to happen to her son. Jarrod hoped to be able to tell his father of the pain that was caused to the young man.

The train pulled into the depot mid morning. Jarrod immediately rented a surrey for the trip from the local livery. He realized the train depot wasn't going to be around long. There was no reason for the train to stop there anymore. The towns around the depot were dying towns due to mines being played out. Therefore, the train would bypass that stop in a few months to stop in Stockton.

As they made their way towards Strawberry, Beth/Leah continued to sob silently. No words were spoken between the newly married couple. Jarrod didn't feel who knew the beautiful woman that sat beside him. Beth knew she loved the young man. She had to admit he deserved more than her deceit.

Two days earlier, Tom came out of the study after talking to Nick about their trip to Strawberry. When Tom came out of the study, he sported a huge black eye and a busted lip. It seems Nick's short fuse had gotten the best of him. The strange thing was that Nick would forgive Tom before the others because of being able to react physically. Nick looked a little rough too but it was obvious the young rancher got the best of his father.

They had decided to get things in order at the ranch before heading to get Heath. Finding Hannah dead shocked them all on the day they left. She had been dead probably the night before. Now it was imperative to get Heath back home to put his Mama Hannah to rest. Silas and Victoria would take care of the arrangements while Nick and Tom went to get Heath. Now it wasn't only about bringing the boy home but about bringing him home to the death of the only person who seemed to ever show the boy he was worthy of love.

Arriving in Strawberry was faced with uncertainty by Tom and Nick. Matt and Rachel watched as the two Barkleys dismounted from their expensive horses. Rachel grasped Matt's hand when she saw Tom Barkley. Immediately, she knew that she was staring at Heath's father. They looked that much alike.

"If you're lookin' for your boy, he's here at the hotel." Matt startled not only the Barkleys but Rachel with his words. "Don't think I'm gonna let you come cause my nephew more trouble. He's had enough his short life."

Tom Barkley scowled as he sauntered up to the porch of the hotel. "I hear you caused a lot of that pain for the boy."

"Yeah. I did. Changed myself though. I won't cause him more pain." Matt squared back his shoulders as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You caused a lot of it too."

"Yeah. As you say, people change." Tom stepped up not being intimidated by Heath's uncle. He had promised Audra and Victoria that he'd bring Heath back home. That was what he planned on doing.

"Now that you two peacocks are done showing off your plumage, what is going on here?" Rachel interjected as she placed her arm on Matt's shoulder.

Nick held back a chuckle as he stepped forward. He took off his hat. He hoped this wasn't Martha, Heath's aunt. This woman seemed too nice to be the evil woman that had hurt Heath so badly. Rachel saw the look of disdain flash across Tom's face and the unknowing in the younger cowboy's face.

She spoke up realizing they thought she was Martha. "I'm Heath's Aunt Rachel. I helped Hannah when she needed it."

Nick relaxed as he stepped closer. He held out his hand to shake Rachel's. "We came to get Heath. We found his mama Hannah dead this morning."

Rachel felt her knees go weak. Matt grabbed her and helped her to a wooden rocking chair sitting on the porch of the hotel.

She dabbed at the tears flowing from her eyes. "Heath can't take much more. He can't. How are we going to tell that beautiful boy his mama is dead?"

Matt stood behind his wife as he comforted her by massaging her shoulders. He whispered words of encouragement but he also realized that Heath was emotionally exhausted. Would this put the young boy over the edge?

"I'll tell him." Nick swallowed not looking forward to seeing his brother's heart break anymore.

"I should. He's my son." Tom started forward but was halted by Nick's hand on his shoulder.

"No. He doesn't trust you." Nick stared at his father daring him to disagree. "With good reason I might add. He trusts me some. Obviously, Miss Rachel is too upset to speak to the boy. You and Matt Simmons don't deserve his trust yet. I'm his brother. I'm gonna tell him."

None of the three argued with the tall young man as he turned to make his way into the hotel to face his younger brother with more devastation in his life.

Nick walked up the stairs after receiving directions to Heath's room. He stopped momentarily at the boarded up room on the second floor. He touched the boards wondering why he felt a sudden eerie feeling that unspeakable evil had happened at one time in that room. Nick pushed himself on up past the room to a set of stairs that would lead him to the third floor.

On the third floor, there was only two rooms set up much like suites. A bath house and water closet were in between the suites. He knocked lightly on the door to the one suite which was to be Heath's room. Rachel and Matt lived on the first floor in a similar type suite. Rachel had cleaned up the room in hopes that Heath and Hannah would return to Strawberry to live again.

Heath slowly opened the door still unsure of Matt's sudden change of heart towards him. When he saw Nick, his face became puzzled.

Nick saw the tired young man. Heath's body had filled out some. However, there was pain behind the azure orbs that stared back questioningly at him. Nick didn't know why the need to take the boy in his arms overwhelmed him. He wouldn't fight that urge as he grabbed the boy by the back of Heath's neck and pulled him into the cocoon that was Nick's arms.

Nick's words came out in a husky sound due to the lacing of tears. "Your mama Hannah has gone to heaven, boy. Let your big brother take you home to her."


	27. Chapter 27

**_Chapter 26: Priority_**

Jarrod Barkley stood staring at his father as his father crossed his arms defiantly over his chest.

"He's my son, boy. I'm taking him back to the ranch with me." Tom stated in the same authoritative tone he had all his sons' lives.

Jarrod clenched his fists tightly as his arms dangled by his sides. "I think that is up to Heath now. Isn't it? If he wants to go back with you, so be it. If not, I'm taking him to a life with me."

Earlier Heath had withered momentarily into Nick's arms. Hearing Hannah had passed away came as a shock to Heath. The boy was still in shock when Nick helped him downstairs. Nick kept glancing worriedly at his younger brother. Heath hadn't shed a tear for the one he knew as Mama. Yet, Nick knew the boy's grief was strong.

"Don't be ridiculous." Tom began to pace. He pointed at Leah. "Is this your idea, Leah? You think having my son raise his brother will keep you in his good graces. You gave up that right to the boy."

"No. Jarrod wants to make right my wrongs, Tom." Leah spoke up softly. "I want the chance to know my only child."

"Both of you wait a minute!" Matt Simmons spoke up loudly. "Leah signed that boy over to me. He's mine now. All of you can get out of here as far as I'm concerned."

"Signed over to you!" Nick was the loudest of them all. "For what, to be a punching bag. My little brother isn't going to live with the likes of you."

Rachel spoke up in defense of Matt. "My husband would never harm Heath now. We know the treasure of having him."

Heath was shocked he had people fussing over him. To him it sounded like they were arguing over some stray pup they found. First, he had not been wanted by anyone. Now, the whole family was fussing who got to keep him.

Heath cleared his throat and talked barely above a whisper. "All I want to do now is go bury my Mama Hannah."

All of the voices hushed to stare at the boy, who was obviously a confused fifteen year old. Jarrod smiled as he realized they were talking around Heath not to the teen boy.

"Of course, Heath. Let's figure this out later." Jarrod placed his hand on Heath's shoulder. "We can head out now if you like."

Heath nodded silently as he stared at Jarrod. "Would you and Nick ride along side me." He glanced at the others in the room. "I'm not sure I want the rest being near me right now. Well, all but Rachel. I'm guessin' she will ride with my uncle Matt." He turned to Rachel. "Iffin' you're comin?"

"Of course, Heath. Hannah was a great friend to me." Rachel assured him. "I'll get things ready as quickly as I can."

"I'll help you, Rachel." Matt followed his wife up the hotel stairs.

"My brother and his wife can ride in the carriage with me." Leah blinked back tears.

She hated that inside her thoughts Jarrod was her priority. She wanted to know Heath but she wanted to keep Jarrod as a husband more.

Tom knew he'd be taking the lead and his sons, all three of them, would be following behind the carriage. He also knew his being adamant about Heath coming with him was to make amends with his children by Victoria. They were of utmost importance to him. He turned to get his own horse ready to leave.

Heath watched as everyone but his two brothers left the room. He looked at Jarrod with a quizzical look. "I think it is might funny that I'll have a brother playing my Pa. Not sure how that would work. I'm not a kid anymore. I know you both think by my years I am. But I've lived a different life from ya'll. Besides, not sure how it would work my brother being my pappy."

Nick let out a boisterous laugh. He knew Heath would grieve exceedingly when he had to bury Hannah. For now, Heath was trying to make light of the tense situation. Jarrod chuckled as well.

"What's so funny?" Heath questioned as they made their way to the livery to get their horses.

"Jarrod started bossing me around when we were kids. One day I starting calling him Pappy as a retort. Eugene and Audra heard me call him that name. They were young and thought it fit Jarrod. So he became all of his siblings' Pappy."

Heath shook his head. "Well, I ain't so sure about this whole family thing. I guess I need to think on it."

"Let's get through the next few days, Heath." Jarrod could see the boy was putting on an act of bravery. He wondered when the child would break down. Heath nodded then picked up pace to get to his horse.

Nick halted Jarrod by grasping his shoulder. "Jarrod, I saw that boy kill men in the war. He never flinched or reacted. It scared me for him. His commanding officer said he bottles up his feelings like in a trance. I sure hope he lets himself feel for his mama Hannah."

"Me too." Jarrod agreed. "I'm afraid that kid is a powder keg ready to explode."

Nick nodded in agreement. "How are you doing knowing what you know now?"

"Not sure." Jarrod admitted as he began to walk again. "I love Beth. I'm not sure who Leah Thomson is. I married a Beth Endicott. Therefore, I'm not even sure who my wife really is. I plan on concentrating on Heath right now. I'll work on my marriage or divorce later."

Nick slapped Jarrod on the back. "Alright, Pappy. Just remember if you need me, I'll be here to help you."

"Thanks, Nick." Jarrod turned to smile and his young brother. "By the way, did you put those bruises on father's face."

Nick's face displayed a wide grin. "Most of them. Mother put the one on his cheek though."

The brothers laughed when they thought of their demure mother slapping their father hard enough to bruise his cheek. Jarrod sighed out after the laughter died. He glanced at Heath petting his horse's mane. The boy's clothes were still old and threadbare. Heath had put on some weight but he still looked malnourished and weak.

The oldest brother took in a deep breath of air before stating. "I used to think there was no greater man that Tom Barkley. Now, I'm not so sure, Nick.

Nick blinked as his heart ached deep in his chest. "Yeah. I know. I still love him though, Pappy. He's been good to us. Tom Barkley has been a great father to me, you, Eugene, and Audra. It ain't his fault that you married her."

"I know that. But it is his fault the way Heath has been dealt with. Don't get me wrong. I'm mad at our father. But I don't hate him. I've had too many years of love built up for him. However, the man has fell from his pedestal and fell mighty hard when it comes to how he neglected our brother."

Nick bit his bottom lip as he allowed his thoughts to turn to the boy by the livery stable. "I don't think Heath will ever love his parents, Jarrod. I really don't. I think the only one he will ever love like a parent was his Mama Hannah."

Jarrod agreed but he prayed that someday Heath could open up his heart to allow the family in. That included Thomas Barkley and Leah Thomson. If they both were willing to open their hearts to their blonde son, then they would see that the teen boy was so very easy to love.

The small entourage headed towards Stockton. Heath didn't say a word as he road between his brothers. He stared out into the space in front of him. He felt numb, confused, and angry. What he hadn't let himself feel was sorrow. He supposed he'd feel that when he had to say goodbye to his mama.

After he said goodbye, Heath figured he'd tell Audra, Nick and Jarrod goodbye too. He was a man now. He needed to make his own way in life. Heath knew he could find a job somewhere. He'd be sixteen soon. Surely folks hiring would think he was eighteen. After all, the army folks thought he was eighteen when he wasn't even a teenager yet.

Heath realized he hadn't even met his brother, Eugene. The boy was the closest to him in age. Funny how he never thought of the boy before now. Eugene was only two months younger than him according to Audra. The young teenager blinked as he compared his life to that of Eugene Barkley.

He looked up at the tall figure who was his father. He guessed that Tom Barkley loved Eugene Barkley. Heath realized he had seen the man with boy by the corral many times. Eugene didn't seem interested in the horses there but the boy did seem to be happy his father was spending time with him. Heath absently rubbed the back of his neck. He remembered how Tom lovingly squeezed Eugene's neck as he spoke to the boy. Heath wondered what it would feel like to have a Pa be proud of you and love you like Tom did his sons. Well, three of his sons any way.

Heath saw Leah turn to glance back from the carriage. Heath felt his heart beat faster thinking his mother was checking on him. He soon realized she was glancing at Jarrod. Of course, Jarrod was her husband. The handsome twenty five year old lawyer would be the woman's first priority. After all, Heath realized he never was her priority.

Rachel never was that close to Heath as she was more of his teacher. Matt was her priority and Rachel was his. He wasn't any one's priority ever with the exception of Hannah. Now she was gone.

Heath knew these new found brothers cared about him. He doubted they cared for him as much as each other or as much as the boy named Eugene. What did they need with another younger brother when they had one the same age? Heath supposed Audra cared a great deal. But then again, she had three brothers. Didn't see no use of the girl having four brothers. One more brother wouldn't be that much of a priority in an already made family. One more son wouldn't either.

One bastard definitely wouldn't be needed or made a priority to any of the fine folks heading to Stockton to bury Heath's priority.


	28. Chapter 28

_**Chapter 27:Then He Wept**_

Heath always imagined that days in Carterson were the most awful days of his life. However, standing over Hannah's grave, as he dropped the fistful of dirt on her coffin, seemed so much worse. In Carterson, he fought to live each day. Now, Heath felt like he wanted to crawl in a hole and quit breathing. He didn't realize how it could hurt physically to lose someone you loved in death. Literally, he hurt in the deepest cavern of his chest.

Heath had hoped that it was raining some outside when they buried his Mama Hannah. It was the opposite. The day was perfect. The sun was out bright yet a cool breeze floated in the air continuously. Heath supposed there would be no rain. God was welcoming Hannah home. Heaven was sure to rejoice as Hannah ran to the arms of her brothers John and James. There would be no rain or clouds. Hannah deserved a perfect homecoming. Still Heath wished for rain.

He wanted the rain to hide his tears if they came. However, the warm sun kissed his face alerting him that if he cried, those standing around would see. He didn't want them to see his grief. Some of them didn't deserve to see him hurting anymore. They had hurt him enough. He refused to let Tom Barkley and Leah Thomson see him cry. He didn't want Matt Simmons seeing it either. Those people had hurt him deeply. There was no way Heath was going to let them think Hannah would ever hurt him even if she never intended to. Her death was hurting.

Heath bit his lip trying to cause himself to feel some other physical pain besides his broken heart. It seemed to be working as he stepped back from the grave. The Barkleys had said that Hannah could be buried on their property. Heath refused. He didn't want anything from these rich people. They didn't know Hannah. They didn't know she'd not want that. She would see it as some type charity.

Silas had understood Heath's refusal. He had came to know Hannah as a friend. Therefore, Silas had asked his preacher if Hannah could be buried in their church's graveyard. She had attended church there for a short time. Even if she hadn't, the preacher had no qualms of Hannah being buried in the church graveyard. He asked Heath if that would be something Hannah would like. Heath eagerly accepted the arrangements.

Heath looked around him but still kept his head down hoping no one would notice. He saw the pastor and a few other members of the church gathered. He knew it was the church members because they were the same color as Hannah.

Rachel was being comforted by his uncle Matt. It still seemed strange having those two together. Didn't matter to Heath none though. They'd be going back to Strawberry. That was one place Heath planned on never returning to. Not with Matt or Rachel.

He glanced up at Tom Barkley. The man wasn't looking at Heath. He was staring at Jarrod. He was sure Tom Barkley wanted forgiveness from his oldest son. Leah was doing the same thing as Tom. Her eyes darted from the ground to Jarrod continuously. She wanted the same from Jarrod. She wanted her husband's forgiveness. Neither cared for Heath's forgiveness or grief.

Jarrod must have known that his father and his wife were looking at him. He kept his head down to keep from having to look at them. Heath noticed Nick fidgeting uncomfortably with his tie as he rocked on his heels.

Heath's eyes glimpsed at the youngest son. That was Eugene Barkley. The boy looked nothing like Heath. He looked no more like Heath than Nick or Jarrod. He wasn't as dark as the older two Barkley brothers but he wasn't fair skinned nor had blonde hair. The boy looked rather bored as if he felt this was below him. Heath could be reading the boy wrong. To Heath, it seemed Eugene Barkley preferred to be elsewhere rather than beside a grave of Heath's mama. Heath didn't really blame him. After all, to Eugene, Hannah and Heath were strangers.

Victoria Barkley's eyes caught Heath's momentarily. Heath didn't know why he stared without tearing his eyes away. The way she looked at him caught him by surprise. He had no doubt she too was caught by surprise. He noticed her bottom lip being drawn in as she stared at him. He knew her lip was quivering as she tried not to show her own emotions. He knew why.

Right in front of her was her husband's transgression staring back at her. There was no denying who the boy belonged to. He featured Tom more than any other Barkley son. Heath's jaw muscle twitched as he stubbornly stared back. He wanted to scream.

" _Take a good look, lady! I'm his bastard iffin' you like it or not!"_

Heath didn't scream that. Instead, he showed no emotion whatsoever. He showed no anger, no sorrow, no hate. These people didn't deserve to see inside of his heart. He wasn't going to let them.

Victoria's eyes finally left his. Heath felt accomplished for some reason. He didn't know why but he felt he couldn't look away. He couldn't stare down at the ground like he'd done all his life with most people. The woman had done nothing to him. Therefore, it wasn't hate or animosity that caused his azure eyes to peer back at her gray eyes. It was a common ground between the two. He knew it immediately. They were both betrayed by the same two people. The demure Mrs. Barkley and the bastard, Heath James, shared a common bond. That stare held because of the pain they both felt due to the two selfish people who chose to hurt them both.

People started dispersing from the gravesite. A few men from the church said they would like the honor of both digging Hannah's grave and burying her. Heath relinquished those duties the men. Hannah had made an impact on the church members the little time she had got to know them. Heath was glad for the volunteers. He didn't think he could handle hearing the dirt thud against her coffin. It was too final.

Nick whispered to Jarrod. Jarrod was thinking the same as his younger brother. "Look. His lip is bleeding. Heath isn't crying."

Jarrod drew in air as he nodded. "I noticed."

Neither brother knew how to approach the newest brother. It was too new, too fresh, too raw.

Nick pulled at his tie as he propped his arm around his older brother's shoulder. Nick knew Jarrod was hurting for the betrayal of his wife and father. Nick would be there for Jarrod to lean on. At least he could help one brother when he had no idea how to the other.

Victoria felt Tom's arms wrap around her waist. It was a possessive embrace in nature. She allowed it. She felt a trifle possessive of him as well. Eugene followed behind his mother and father eager to get away from the graveside.

The pastor walked up to Heath. "We'll take it from here."

Heath glanced up. He extended his hand. "I'm Heath James. She was my mama."

"Silas informed us all of that." The older man said as he returned Heath's handshake.

The pastor wasn't used to a white child being so forthright in claiming a mother such as Hannah. Yet, there was a pride in the yellow haired boy's voice. It was obvious that he loved his mother.

Heath heard a commotion from behind him. He heard Mrs. Barkley asking something of someone. He didn't turn to see because he didn't care to know. Then he felt arms wrap around his waist from behind.

"I love you, Heath. I'm sorry about your mama." Audra's thin arms gripped Heath tightly from the back. She pressed her cheek into his thin shoulders. Her arms released and she turned to walk away.

Heath hadn't looked at Audra during the service. He was sure the kind hearted girl would be crying. He wasn't sure he could keep tears at bay if he saw someone else cry. After all, the little girl wouldn't be crying for Hannah. She barely knew her.

Heath turned slowly to watch the blonde girl walking away. He felt old hands grip his shoulders. He glanced back to see Silas standing over him.

"She surely loves you, boy." Silas whispered as he squeezed Heath's shoulders tenderly.

Heath was startled by his own voice echoing in his throat. "Audra."

Audra turned around to look at Heath. Her cheeks were red and her eyes puffy. She had been crying like Heath had guessed. However, it dawned on him that she hadn't cried for nothing. She had cried for him.

Audra rushed back to Heath. Her arms went tightly around him again. Heath tentatively allowed his arms to embrace her as well. Suddenly, he didn't feel alone. He felt loved.

Then he wept.


	29. Chapter 29

**_Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews and nuggets. This story has came to an end as Hannah has died. However, I may try a sequel later to show the way Heath adapted to his family after her death. I'm not sure though as it would be a Heath/ Eugene story more than any thing._**

Epilogue

The dawn of a new day kissed Heath's face as he watched the sunrise. Nick stood beside him as the sun peaked over the horizon.

"Feels good." Heath stated in a low voice.

Heath's southern drawl wasn't pronounced as it once was but was still there. It had been over five years since his Mama Hannah had died. Heath was now twenty one years old. He thought often how things had changed since that day. The day she left this earth for a heavenly home. As an adult, he understood why it was time for her to go. If she had remained, Heath would've refused to get to know his family as he did now.

It took over a year for him to start loving them all as he did. It was easy with Audra and Nick especially Audra. The two blondes had a bond more than mere sister and brother. Audra was still his secret keeper. He was her protector as he told her he would be.

Jarrod was going through his own anguish at the time so it took a few months longer. At first, Eugene was all together skittish around Heath. Being the same age was looked upon as supposed to being best friends. It didn't turn out that way. They were brothers but Nick was his best friend and Jarrod was the brother he admired. Eugene was more like a little brother despite being the same age as Heath. Heath's life experience gave the young man more wisdom of the world causing him to feel older than his age.

Heath closed his eyes remembering the family member that caught him by surprise with the love they shared. After the funeral, Victoria Barkley insisted Heath move into the large mansion. She didn't allow for anyone to question it. She didn't give any a choice. She only spoke to Heath on the matter asking his choice. She asked him to give them one month. Then move on if he pleased. He gave that month and found a family.

He remembered the first time he had slipped and called her mother. Victoria looked at him after the words accidentally escaped his mouth.

" _I'm sorry. I mean…" Heath stammered. He had turned sixteen and had his first birthday party. It was three months after Hannah had died._

Victoria grasp the arm of a nearby chair before collapsing to her knees. Heath ran to her apologizing. It was when she lifted her face so that they could stare in each other's eyes as they did at the grave, that he understood. Her words confirmed the truth.

"You are my son of my heart." Victoria's hand cupped Heath's cheek. "I've waited for my son to come home and call me mother. You need a mother, Heath. I need you

."

Somewhere in that moment, an unbreakable bond was formed between the mother and the son. Though not bound by blood but something much stronger, by love.

It was over a year later before Heath finally had a father. Heath had been riding with Tom Barkley as they brought some wild horses under a grove of trees. Tom had already felt the boy tugging at his heart but didn't know how to even broach the subject with Heath. Tom knew he didn't deserve the boy as a son. Therefore, he kept his heart hidden.

 _Heath was the first to spot the flash of metal that glared in the sun. Heath pushed Tom from his horse and aimed true. The sharpshooter hired by the railroad to kill Tom Barkley was dead. However, Heath had received a gunshot wound in the shoulder for his effort to save his father's life._

Tom refused to leave the boy's bedside when the blonde son became delirious with fever. He refused to allow anyone else to take up the vigil. Nick and Jarrod had insisted for their own time with their blonde brother. However, Tom adamantly stated he would stay with his son.

It was during the week's vigil that Victoria and Jarrod heard Tom's weeping from inside Heath's bedroom. They opened the door to see Tom Barkley on his knees by Heath's bedside. He was grasping Heath's hand as he spoke a fervent prayer.

Jarrod remembered when Eugene had almost died when he was younger. He remembered his father begging for Eugene's life and asking for forgiveness for a neglected son. Jarrod realized that prayer of years past was about Heath. Now Tom was praying a different prayer but the earnesty was just as poignant.

" _Dear God.. Please don't take him from me now. He's every bit my son as the others. Heath is my child. A child I am beyond blessed having. I know I'm not worthy of calling him son. I'm not worthy of having the pleasure of his life here with me. I know you could take him home to be with his Mama Hannah. Heaven would be rejoicing for him to go to be with her. But I beg you to forgive my transgressions against this wonderful boy. Let me show him the love I've kept from him. Please. If not possible to show him, then exchange my life for his. Please."_

 _God did answer the prayer but there would be no compromise with lives. Heath would survive and Tom would show the boy his dedication as a father as he did all his son's._

 _It was with weak whispered words that Tom knew his son would live. "Pa." Heath whispered. "Pa, are you okay?"_

 _Tom placed his cheek against Heath's hand as he wept with joy. "Yes, son. You're pa is here."_

No other child of Tom Barkley's called him Pa. That was a name only Heath used from that day Barkley learned to love that name and cherished hearing his blonde son call him that almost as much as he cherished the gift God had given him in Heath Barkley.

As for Leah Thomson or Beth Barkley, she never had a chance to become close to her son. She chose to go back east to be with the Endicott family after Jarrod divorced her. As far as Beth Endicott was concerned, Leah Thomson no longer existed and her past was not hers that included Heath. She never remarried. Ironically, Jarrod Barkley was her one true love. She chose to shower her affections on the Endicott grandchildren and never return to the West again. Heath didn't mind. He had his mother both in Mama Hannah and his Mother, Victoria Barkley. Rachel and Matthew Simmons moved East with Leah. There was nothing left in Strawberry to keep them there.

Heath's mind came back to the present with Nick's voice.

"Sure does." Nick clapped his brother on his shoulder. "Always feels good to start a new day."

Heath grinned lopsidedly as he turned at a yell of glee bounding toward him.

"Uncle Heef!" Little Daniel Barkley ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. "Papa said I could ride Ganger today."

"Ranger." Nick corrected Jarrod's three year old son.

The boy looked more like the Barkley family than Jarrod did. As a matter of fact, Daniel looked like Heath. That was due to Heath's uncanny looks taking after Tom Barkley. Of course, Heath was his favorite uncle despite Nick trying desperately to make it to the number one spot in the boy's heart. It didn't matter because Jarrod's one year old daughter, Victoria Rose, seemed to gurgle and giggle when her uncle Nick was around.

Tom Barkley came up to stand next to Heath. His hand squeezed his son's shoulder. "The family is all gathered to celebrate your and Gene's birthday."

Eugene and Heath had decided to start celebrating birthdays together due to Eugene having a difficult time getting away from college. It was a celebration not on either boy's birthday but the month in between them both.

"I'll be there later, Pa." Heath wiped his hand nervously across his chest.

"Don't be too late. Your mother will pitch a fit if you aren't there soon. She loves having all her children home with us." Tom eyes brightened as he swelled with pride of his blonde son.

Nick sighed. "I guess I better head back too. Sarah is ornerier than a wet hen with this pregnancy. I sure hope she is in a good mood today."

Tom and Heath watched Nick leave. Then Tom turned back to smile a crooked smile at his blonde son. The boy was his own man.

At nineteen, Heath left the ranch claiming he needed to see what else was out there for him. The blonde cowboy returned on holidays and a few other visits back to the Barkley ranch. He didn't want them to think he forgot them as family.

Heath had spent his first year wandering around from job to job all but ranching. Heath figured he knew what that life was about. Nick complained saying the ranch was Heath's life as much as it was his.

Nick had married a raven haired girl named Sarah. They built a house on the north pasture of the Barkley ranch. Jarrod resided in San Francisco with his family but came home often to Stockton since he had an office there. Jarrod married Emma six months after divorcing Leah/Beth. Jarrod always brought his family along with him. Heath felt he needed to be his own man for a while due to the change of Nick's marital status.

For the last year, Heath had been working as a deputy for Sheriff Sawyer due to his tracking abilities and his prowess with a gun, rifle or side iron. He met a girl at Spanish Camp named Sarah. She wasn't meant to be his as it seemed she was dedicated to something far beyond Heath's class. Being a nun was her calling but it taught Heath that he wanted roots to be grounded. Once Sarah admitted that she knew where she belonged in life, Heath realized where he belonged as well. Now, Heath had informed them all that he was staying at the ranch for good as a rancher.

"I love you, son." Tom gave Heath one more squeeze to his shoulder. "Welcome, home."

"Love ya too, Pa." Heath answered back as he watched his father mount on his horse. "Tell Mother that I won't be long."

Tom nodded then road away towards the ranch. Heath knelt by the grave. Silas had taken very good care of the grave in Heath's absence. Heath pulled a lace handkerchief from his pocket. He tied it around the cross on the grave.

"I know you would think this too fancy a thing for ya. But I saw it and couldn't help think how you always sung hymns and dabbed at your eyes with your shirt sleeves. Ya always were so blessed by God when you sung. Figure you're up there singing with the angels like ya were always meant to do. I miss ya. I miss ya alot sometimes. But I know why you had to go. I would've never gave them a chance if you were still here especially Pa. At first, I kept thinking Tom Barkley didn't deserve forgiveness. Then I think of the story of slaves you told me about including yourself. You never had a hate for anything done to you. You had more than I had bad in my life. You gave me so much good. So I thought if you could be blessed as you were, I'd give him a chance. I'd have given Leah a chance too but she didn't want it. But that's okay. I had you and now Mother. I want to tell ya thank you for all you did. Whisper to God that I thank him for giving me you and for showing me my way home. I love ya, Mama Hannah. "

The End


End file.
